Shadow Flight
by Stormshadow3
Summary: Hope /hōp/, noun: something that Mousepaw doesn't feel right now. Generally not a word used when you fail at your only chance to prove yourself, get hunted down by the un-dead that was never technically alive in the first place, and keep conveniently losing memories. (Discontinued - see last chapter for details)
1. -through the ice-

_**Sorry for confusion in this chapter. I made it that way intentionally. Things will get cleared up in later chapters.**_

* * *

 **Part One**

 **Reaches of Darkness**

* * *

 **.**

Pathway Cliff, Nightsong Valley

 **.**

Chapter One

 **.**

* * *

 ** _JUST ONE LAST VIEW OF THE STARS..._**

"Stop. Concentrate," the blurred figure in front of her commanded.

 ** _MISTRESS, I BEG YOU TO SAVE ME._**

 ** _I AM LOST IN A CURSED WOOD._**

"I can't!" Mousepaw screamed. "They're—"

 ** _STRANGER, PLEASE HELP ME._**

"I've never met an apprentice this useless," he muttered under his breath.

 ** _I NEED ANOTHER CHANCE._**

Mousepaw didn't answer. She was already on the ground, gasping.

 ** _SOMET_ _HING TO REDEEM._**

 _Where am I?_ she wondered. _Who is that before me? Who am I? How do I breathe?_

Red blobs swam in front of her eyes. _Who? What? How? Where?_

 _Why?_

 _Why why why?_

"For the stars' sake! Just _look_ at me and _concentrate_! _None_ of those other idiots had _any_ trouble with the voices!" someone was yelling, right outside her ear. _Outside? Inside?_

 _Inside out?_

 _Both at the same time?_

 _Neither?_

 _Maybe the voice_ is _my ear..._

 ** _PULL ME OUT OF THIS._**

 ** _I KNOW YOU CAN._**

By this time, she was losing control. Eyes blurred, spasms jerking her left and right, rolling on the ground like the Moonsweep mossballs in the camp clearing, a spiraling crescendo in her mind...

"Get _up_!"

 ** _YOUR SHADOW._**

She gasped, head throbbing, her eyes glazed. _Huh?_

 _ **YOUR SHADOW.**_

Miniature lightningstorms ripped through her mind. Frustrated claws slammed her against a rock surface, and consciousness faded away.

* * *

Mousepaw came to later in the night with a headache and a fuzzy vision. Dream memories of smiling cats with contorted faces and jerky, unnatural movements wouldn't leave her alone. Propping herself up against the ground, she took a moment to catch her breath.

 _It happened again._

This had been going on for quite some time, but only recently had the cascade of voices came so often, so loud, so desperate. Mousepaw curled against the den wall again, shivering and trying to stop the flow of self-pity. _It's not just you,_ she reminded herself.

Every kit born in Nightsong Valley since some cursed moon ages ago had been subject to this endless stream of whispers. Every single one. Some voices asked for favors. Some pleaded, like Mousepaw's. Some gave orders. Some were more easy to ignore. Others weren't.

But it was an essential part of training to be able to shut them out entirely... and Mousepaw had just failed the assessment for the fourth time, as the only fifteen-moon old apprentice.

No more chances.

No more of her mother forcing her mate to do those 'favors' for Silverstar in exchange for another retry, even if he wanted to. Mousepaw shuddered.

Most of all, no more hope of her ever becoming a full Watcher in the clan. She'd have to see what Silverstar decided. Best case scenario, she'd have to be some sort of lowly worker, forced to perform mundane everyday tasks. Mousepaw wasn't particularly worried about this, however. She'd been pondering over this situation for moons.

The worst case scenario, on the other paw...

"It wasn't my fault," her mentor's voice filtered in through the medicine den walls. "I'm sorry, Silverstar, but she's rather hopeless. I tried everything, but she's rather rebellious. Not listening to me. I've tried my best. It's really not working."

"Hmm," Silverstar considered. "Really. How do you explain the claw marks then, Sedgefoot?"

There were scuffling sounds as Sedgefoot took a few steps back. "She was out of control," he explained hurriedly. "I was trying to calm her down, but in her madness she may have accidentally hurt herself. Entirely not my fault."

Mousepaw cringed. Her losing control might not have been caused by him, but the claw marks definitely were. Sedgefoot had begun to lose his temper with her more and more often recently, but he had never attempted to directly attack her before. _What's next?  
_

Silverstar, surprisingly, barked a short, humorless chuckle. "That should teach you to be calmer in an emergency. I would trust you to be more careful next time."

"I understand," Sedgefoot assured quickly.

 _No, you complete rabbit-brain!_ Mousepaw thought angrily. _He's lying! He's lying about all of it!_ Immediately, guilt that she was thinking badly of her leader filtered through into her mind, but she shoved it away. Shifting toward the den entrance, she took a deep breath before poking her head out.

There was someone staring right at her about two claw-lengths away from her face.

Mousepaw yelped in surprise, flailing backward and trying to keep her balance. The tom smiled in the darkness, reminding her unpleasantly of her dream. "Easily scared one, isn't she, eh?" he commented smoothly, turning to face Silverstar.

Silverstar nodded, seemingly amused. "I thought so."

"Who are you?" Mousepaw demanded, trying to stop a blush from showing on her face. "I've never seen you before."

The mottled old tom appeared offended, but grinned at her with stained teeth anyway. "Respect your elders, dear," he said. "I'm one of those appointed to maintain the Moonsweep, of course."

"Oh?" Mousepaw said blankly. She had never quite thought much of that pile of arranged mossballs in the camp clearing, and anyway, she was too busy trying to stop headaches and dodge her mentor, who seemed to be everywhere at once to notice him. "I've never seen you around before... and anyway, why were you watching me sleep?"

"Such impudence," the tom scoffed, though he seemingly remained calm. "Experience tells me that this is the apprentice we need to, as you say, fix?"

"I'm not broken."

Silverstar ignored her. "I prefer the word 'correct', actually. Just set on the right path. If she can indeed, ah, be corrected, then I believe your skills can be of great use in the future when dealing with those like her. Sedgefoot, watch and learn."

"Well, actually," the tom interrupted, "I would like to do this alone, so as much of her mind can be cleared as possible, without distractions. With your permission, of course."

He smiled crookedly up at Silverstar, who frowned slightly but didn't press the issue. "I see. If that works best for you, then I suppose I can allow it."

Feelings of dread ran down her spine, but she didn't even try to argue otherwise.

It was a losing battle anyway.

She glanced longingly over her shoulder in the direction of the Watcher den, where she knew even now that her mother was leaning over the scarred body of her mate, asking yet again for forgiveness. The medicine cat, Finchheart would be back from herb-gathering soon, carrying the few flimsy, fragile stems left from leaf-bare back to her den. Mentors would lead their apprentices out into the territory to train, kits would play, and no one would notice she was gone.

No one.

Different cats weren't worth paying attention to, even for belittling. Those cats just came and went. Occasional bumps along the road. Some day, they just disappeared. Life moved on.

Mousepaw watched as the tom began padding toward the camp entrance, and as she followed, trailing behind, she couldn't help chuckling a little. Chuckling at how pointless the whole cycle was, birth and life and death, remembrance and forgetfulness. _Maybe he's going to claw me, just like Sedgefoot,_ she mused.

They were right all along.

She _was_ crazy after all.

Eventually, they settled into a slower, rhythmic pace, the tom only slightly ahead of her now. The crescent moon shone through gaps in the wispy clouds, and Mousepaw imagined the mossballs being rearranged again tonight, displayed in a way that matched the pattern of the night sky. The usual chants would be chanted, the hymns recited, asking for the ancestors to bring running prey and fresh herbs to a dying land surrounded by impassable mountains. _Pointless, too._

"Do you really believe in StarClan?" the tom asked, turning his calm green eyes toward her.

Mousepaw's heart nearly skipped a beat. _Did he guess? How did he know?_ "I—I don't know," she stuttered. _Maybe this isn't about correcting me after all. Maybe Silverstar knew that I doubted our spirits were watching over us and not just wandering around without hope and purpose, and he thought I was just useless, and he wanted to get rid of me..._ "I can't really..."

 _This is it... Silverstar must have sent this tom to kill me..._

"No worries, your secrets are safe with me," the tom reassured, giving her a mysterious grin. "I won't report anything we talk about. I'm not as much of Silverstar's pet as you think I am. He won't find out even if he suspected, in any case. He's not that dangerous even if he wants to be."

Mousepaw didn't reply.

She knew he was wrong.

 _Silverstar's not just incompetent. Whoever you are, you haven't seen what he has my father do._

Silence passed between them for several long minutes. The terrain beneath their feet changed gradually from hard soil still coated with frost to a softer landscape underpaw, with a few reed plants scattered here and there. The snow-capped mountains loomed over them in all directions, and Mousepaw could see the Pathway Cliff where she had been training earlier that day. "Where are we going?" she finally asked.

The tom nodded toward someplace ahead of them. "The Starry River."

Sure enough, soon the dried ferns and dead grasses cleared out enough for them to get a view of the tiny, frozen stream that ran down between two of the mountains, ending at a small pond. Not even crickets chirped here today, and the thin ice was broken only occasionally by tiny cracks that showed the sluggish water underneath.

"My name is Crouchfeather," the tom began, sitting down close to the edge. "I've heard you have a bit of trouble managing the voices?"

"It just takes time," she snapped, not believing it herself. "Oh, and, please stop pretending to be nice."

Crouchfeather chuckled sadly, gazing off into the frozen river. "I've had some trouble with them too, when I was younger," he admitted. "I've just never found quite the correct coping technique for it when it gets to be too much... until now. In some ways, it's helpful. But I also regret finding out."

He turned back to her, his expression more sympathetic now. "Do you hear them all the time?"

Mousepaw hesitated, then replied, "Exactly. It's like... dormant. I mean, It's like, it's always back there, the tiny little voices, tugging at my mind. But occasionally it gets louder and louder at random times, and I can't control them, and eventually it just... takes over. Sometimes it actually hurts, physically. Right now, they're not overwhelming but still there."

"So what do they say?"

"They beg." Mousepaw swallowed a lump in her throat. "Not for me to do anything, just... asking for help. For something I can't give. It sounds like they're all trapped somewhere where they can't see the stars, and they're constantly begging for me to save them, but..."

"Just ignore them," Crouchfeather said softly.

"Huh... you don't sound like you mean it."

He was about to reply, when suddenly, Mousepaw gasped and clenched her teeth. Her gray tail arched over her back, and her neck fur bristled.

"Is that it?" Crouchfeather asked, standing up.

Mousepaw couldn't talk, just nod ever so slightly, trying not to stagger over. Nausea spread through her like a wave; that familiar, stupid feeling of helplessness was starting to come back. Crouchfeather was already moving toward her, though, and she stepped away from him with a jolt of pain.

"Don't," she said weakly, not sure what she was protesting.

He didn't reply, though. Just as her vision began swimming, Crouchfeather shoved her toward the river and slammed her head through the thin sheet of ice, pushing it under.

* * *

 **.**

 **Shadow Flight**

 **.**

 **a fanfic**

 **.**

 **Stormshadow3**

 **.**

* * *

 **Hi! :D It's been a while since I last posted a fic. Need to get back into writing...** **For those that know me from DotS (for new readers, it's one of my discontinued fanfic series, which is not that good), welcome back! I'm now here, with, uh... this thingamajig.**

 **If you have any questions about this, feel free to ask, but I probably won't be able to answer. Mostly because I'm as clueless as you are. The one thing I can tell you is that updates are probably going to be rather here-and-there. If there isn't a new chapter for a while, sorry.**

 **By the way, the 'favors' for Silverstar mentioned aren't as questionable as it might appear. It's completely different than what you might be thinking about, I promise.**

 **Thank you for reading. Tell me what you think!**


	2. -things unspoken-

**.**

Starry River, Nightsong Valley

 **.**

Chapter Two

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* * *

Calm.

Quiet, welcoming calm.

Mousepaw struggled at first, her eyes burning from the freezing water, choking, splashing, gagging, but then something caught her attention. It wasn't as much the thing itself as the absence of it, and something about it was so strange, so unprecedented, so wonderful.

She stopped.

Listened.

Exhilaration shot up her spine; an unexplained tingling feeling was bubbling up inside her.

She listened again, ignoring the itching sensation in her lungs.

There was nothing.

No voices, no one begging for help, not unless she actually concentrated hard. It was like something was in the way of reception, and it felt so _complete_ , in a strange way. Total, unabridged silence surrounded her on all sides, and for the first time in her life, she felt like she could relax.

Briefly, Mousepaw wondered if this was what those cats born before the curse felt like all the time. That calm. That peace of mind. Somehow, she felt cheated. They had always said the curse was a rightful punishment from StarClan, but it felt more like vengeance than anything. Or an angry lashback from someone who didn't know better.

 _Furthering my theory._

The weight on her back lifted itself, and teeth gently dragged Mousepaw's head above the water by her scruff. She began coughing, gasping in sweet air, and it was only then that she realized how her lungs had been burning a few moments ago. "I could have stayed in there a while longer," she managed to get out.

"No, you couldn't have," Crouchfeather grunted. "That time you'd been in there almost reached the limit of what normal cats can bear."

Mousepaw blinked. _Really?_ _In the water... I didn't particularly feel like I needed air or anything._ "In any case, you could have been a bit more gentle. Giving me more head injuries is rather counterproductive."

"I could," he replied, and he seemed to be genuinely apologetic. "The situation was rather sudden. I originally planned to break the ice first. But, ah, sometimes things don't work as you want them to."

Mousepaw tilted her head curiously. _Do I hear hints of a personal experience there?_

"Is it permanent?" she asked instead, but even as she said the words, she could already sense the tiny voices starting to come back, tugging at the edges of her mind.

 _Still, those few moments were nice._

"No," he admitted. "But I suppose that was better than nothing." He nodded in the direction of the camp. "Let's go back."

"How do you know all this?" Mousepaw pressed. "How does this work? How is water special?"

"Let's not go into that," Crouchfeather scowled, standing up. "For now, let's just say that I'm not sure the positive outcomes outweigh the negative. I only did this because it was necessary. Now, maybe Silverstar would see you as something a little bit more than completely hopeless, but that's up to him."

Mousepaw picked up her pace, trying to match it with Crouchfeather's as he hurried along. "Hold on! Then why did you insist on doing this alone with me?"

He paused for a moment, looking back at her. His eyes betrayed a history that she couldn't understand, but at last, he replied, "I had hoped to have an intelligent conversation with you, but it appears that I had overestimated your capabilities."

"That's because you don't tell me anything!"

Crouchfeather didn't reply and didn't look back. He just kept padding on, leaving the apprentice far behind.

* * *

"Mom?" Mousepaw asked softly, prodding her with a tentative forearm.

She looked almost asleep, a curled sack of gray fur and skin stretched taut over prominent bones. Her eyes were open, though, sickly-looking amber ones that seemed too big for her sockets. Beside her lay a limp white tom with scars scratched across every curve and edge, cobwebs plastered messily over his entire body. "Mom!"

She didn't stir.

Mousepaw dangled a paw in front of Sorrelmist's eyes, watched her motionless reaction, then quietly sneaked out of the den and tiptoed cautiously over to the medicine den. Inside, there appeared to be no one at first, but as she peered over to the tiny, sad pile of herbs in the corner, a dark figure shifted his position and Mousepaw felt her heart leap. "Sootpaw?" she called.

The black tom turned around, grinning in that same way that she loved so much. "Hey," he said. "Finchheart's still not back from herb gathering. Should be anytime soon now. But, uh, what do you need?"

Suddenly getting more serious, he lowered his voice and said, "Gorseshade again?"

"My father, yeah," Mousepaw said, shifting from paw to paw uncomfortably. "He... doesn't seem to be getting better. His wounds are starting to heal, but he doesn't talk much, or eat, or do much of anything but sleep. My mom, well, she's... kind of the same, except without the wounds."

Sootpaw was already pushing past her, padding back to the Watcher den while she followed after. "Huh, well, that's hard," he sighed. "I mean, no herbs to cure that."

"Exactly," Mousepaw said. "But could you try getting him to eat something, at least? Calm him down when he wakes?"

She sneaked a sideways glance at the leader's den, where the hushed whispers were coming from. Undoubtedly, Silverstar was still in conversation with Crouchfeather, who was hopefully trying to convince him into giving her a chance at a normal life in the clan.

Sootpaw frowned, reaching back and rubbing the back of his ears. "Maybe. I don't know what use I'll be, though."

"Just try, at least," Mousepaw urged, pushing him toward the shadows of the den. "Oh, and don't wake my mom up when you do it. She... well, I don't know what she'll do, but it's better to be safe. She's not feeling really well right now."

He still looked doubtful, but tore off half a sparrow from the fresh-kill pile along the way and ducked into the Watcher den anyway.

Inside, not much had changed. Sorrelmist was still staring off into the opposite wall, her eyes blank, and Gorseshade was still motionless, except now he was mumbling something under his breath. The two apprentices stood there in silence for a long time, then finally, Mousepaw said the one thing she had been thinking about all this time.

"He's not really going to get better, is he?"

"Not if he doesn't start eating," Sootpaw replied blankly. "I can't erase those memories from his mind. I mean, medicine cats are cool, but not magical. Except when we are, receiving messages from StarClan and stuff. Still hasn't happened yet, though."

Mousepaw didn't chuckle, like she usually did. "It's all my fault, isn't it? Because I can't block the voices by myself."

"No!" Sootpaw looked a bit surprised. "That's your mom's fault. She was the one who pressured him into doing it. Because apparently she can't do it herself."

"Either way," Mousepaw sighed, "I don't think Silverstar really believes Gorseshade will get any results." She unsheathed her claws, digging up dried fern roots and twisting them as many times as they would bend. "He just wants to... make an example out of him."

"Make an example of what?"

Mousepaw stared down at her paws, noticing how they shook without her knowing. "Going into the mountains. The... the abandoned tunnels that go underneath them. So no one would leave. I've heard stories about those tunnels. They're not pretty. Supposedly, they lead out into the world beyond without having you go through the wind and snow, but..."

Right at that moment, Gorseshade jolted awake, coughing out a few drops of blood. Mousepaw winced. "Nope, his injuries aren't getting that much better."

"But we have limited supplies!" Sootpaw protested. "There's hardly any herbs left. They're all stored away for emergencies in the future and..."

"I believe this counts as an emergency," Mousepaw interrupted coldly.

Beside them, Gorseshade was beginning to mumble again, shaking his head every few moments and wrapping his tail around his paws. "That's not fair," Sootpaw said, staring down at him. "Besides, I can't do much on my own. I'm not a full medicine cat. Finchheart... well, I'm not sure about her, either."

"Then at least try to help him on an emotional level," Mousepaw scowled, leaning over and patting Gorseshade's shoulder awkwardly with her tail.

Silence passed between them for a long time, and then Sootpaw finally asked, "How did he get those injuries, though? Did he tell you?"

"He wasn't exactly straight on what happened in the tunnels." Gorseshade had his eyes closed again now, head down, leaning against the den wall like he knew they were talking about him. Briefly, Mousepaw wondered if he was in this strange level of consciousness all the time now. "They look like claw marks, though."

"Not to me." Sootpaw squinted his eyes, as if thinking. "More like thorn scratches or the kind of scrapes you get from jagged rocks."

Mousepaw followed his gaze to one of the cobweb-covered wounds, frowning. "That... doesn't make any sense. How did he get them everywhere?"

"Did you ask him?"

"I did, but..."

Leaning in closer, Mousepaw nudged him gently and whispered, "Dad, how'd you get these injuries?"

Gorseshade didn't respond for a moment, and she thought that he was still asleep, but finally, he lifted his head long enough to rasp, "They were there when I left."

"That's what he always says when I ask him about it," Mousepaw sighed. "He doesn't give me a direct answer. I mean, like, yeah, the injuries must have been there when he escaped the tunnels. That's obvious. But he kind of refuses to talk about it."

Sootpaw shrugged, looking troubled. "Then I can't do anything about that, if he doesn't want to say. Maybe it just takes time. Maybe it's just emotionally scarring. Try to get him to feel better. Talk to him about something else."

Seeing the sense in that, Mousepaw tried again. "How are you feeling?"

Gorseshade didn't respond at first, just shot her a glare.

Her heart sank. "Not that well?"

"No thanks to you and your mother," he growled, then winced. Talking seemed to be painful, she noticed with a pang.

"I'm sorry. I should have performed better on my assessment. Otherwise this wouldn't have happened."

Gorseshade didn't say anything, just sank down to the ground again and buried his head in his paws. Sorrelmist had now snapped out of her daze as well, and was now staring at them both with an unreadable gaze. Mousepaw looked away. _No, it's not my fault._ It was her mother's, and Silverstar's. If she hadn't persuaded Gorseshade to go in not one, not two, but three separate times, then maybe...

"I can't believe you made him do all this," Mousepaw hissed.

She saw Sorrelmist's fangs bite into her outer lip, before saying, "It was the best I could do for you. Besides, it was only on the last one that he got injured. Don't you want to become a Watcher? Silverstar said I could help him, and in return he would give you a chance to be successful."

"Then don't!" Mousepaw shot back. "I don't care about being a Watcher! If you want to do any favors, do it yourself!"

Sorrelmist hesitated.

Her lower lip trembled, then she set her face again and curled back into sleeping position. "Fine. Then go be a servant for the clan for the rest of your life for all I care. If you can't do something that everyone else can do, then maybe you don't deserve another chance."

"Fine!"

"Then go."

"Go do what?"

"I don't care. Go somewhere that's not here."

Right at that moment, Sootpaw raced back through the den entrance, stumbling in and panting heavily. "Mousepaw?"

She turned around, trying to glare as fiercely as she could. "Is this really important?"

"Important? Definitely. Someone just.. just..."

Out in the distance, the first screams rang out.


	3. -bravery or arrogance-

**.**

NightClan camp, Nightsong Valley

 **.**

Chapter Three

 **.**

* * *

Mousepaw tried to lean over, get a better look at the camp clearing, but Sootpaw shoved her back and blocked the entranceway, hissing, "No! Don't go out there! There's—some kind of—it's already gotten—"

"I have to see what's happening, Sootpaw," Mousepaw protested, shoving him away.

He didn't say anything, but she could tell that he was nervous. Outside, the pandemonium that Mousepaw had imagined simply wasn't there. Instead, it just appeared that everyone was confused. Watchers with their claws unsheathed and fur bristled were patrolling the clearing to no avail, and half-asleep apprentices stumbled out after them. Silverstar, meanwhile, was just staring down at them from the Skyrock with an uninterested expression, and Mousepaw wanted to claw that look off his face. "I don't see any intruder."

"Hazellight just disappeared," Sootpaw whispered, craning his neck. "I could see like a shadow out of the corner of my eye, so I turned around, and then in the next moment, there was the flash of claws and then someone screamed and she was just _gone_."

"Then whoever or whatever carried her off, it's probably long gone by now!" Mousepaw exclaimed, stepping out into the main clearing. "Someone should chase after a scent trail instead of... just..."

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the camp yelled, "I've got it!"

Like on cue, everyone immediately stopped what they were doing. Some kits peered out of the nursery through some unpatched holes in the wall, and someone snatched them back in by the scruff rather roughly. "There's an unfamiliar scent here!" the tom continued. "It's... it's..."

Next to him, a plump tortoiseshell screamed. "It's an intruder, out for our blood!" she shrieked.

Immediately, choruses of consent rose up among the crowd. "It's one of those two-legged monsters we heard about!" one tom speculated.

"It's the undead come back to life!"

"It's the undead _with_ only two legs!"

"It's a horned monstrosity!"

"It's a malicious spirit that'll kill us all!"

"It's my little sister!"

"It's feverfew," Sootpaw called in exasperation, charging past Mousepaw and stopping where the ginger tom stood to sniff the ground. "Thick feverfew scent, with ragwort and watermint."

Suddenly stiffening, he glanced over his shoulder toward the medicine den and mumbled, "But that can't be. That's... impossible."

Silverstar tilted his head to the side in interest. "Impossible?"

"Because that's pretty much what Finchheart said she was going to collect before she left..."

The few remaining voices in the crowd died down, until there was only a hushed silence in the camp clearing.

"Herbs ain't as much fun as monsters," a small brown kit whimpered sadly from the same hole in the nursery as before.

Silverstar calmly leaped down from the Skyrock at this, turning to face first the moon and then his clan. "I must admit, that is an interesting progression," he said quietly, blue-gray eyes scanning the crowd. "If what Sootpaw admits is indeed true, then I see only one possible answer. My dear friends, we must now consider the possibility that our own medicine cat has betrayed us."

"Or!" Mousepaw interrupted loudly, stepping into the moonlight.

Scores of pairs of eyes turned toward her. Her heartbeat began racing, and consciously she wondered whether scouting for escape routs first might have been a better idea.

"Or, someone attacked Finchheart," she said desperately. "Then they took away Hazellight, and are now probably looking for an opportunity to snatch someone else when they're all alone in the dark."

Mousepaw turned to face the other half of the crowd, trying not to shy away from making eye contact. "Blaming our own clanmates first thing doesn't seem really smart to me."

 _What are you doing?_ her own mind was whispering.

Mousepaw tried not to pay attention to those thoughts, but as she backed away anxiously, she couldn't help but consider them.

 _What has she ever done for me?_

 _Why should I be risking myself for her?_

But even as she pondered over this question, she knew the answer and couldn't ignore the facts. Maybe Finchheart hadn't done anything for her personally, but there was something special about those times when she worked almost to midnight, with the moon as her only light, buried almost to her shoulders in herbs, whispering yet another reassurance into Gorseshade's ear. Cobweb plaster here, goldenrod there. She had been so _kind_. Surely...

 _I don't have a reputation to lose anyway,_ Mousepaw thought. _Something de_ _pressingly true._ "Search parties to follow the scent that are willing to negotiate seem like a better choice right now."

For a split moment, Silverstar's face contorted into an angry, twisted expression, then somehow, he managed to smoothen it out and calm himself down.

"I do not believe failed apprentices have authority to tell me how to lead my clan," he growled.

Mousepaw faintly felt her cheeks burning. "I don't," she replied, trying to hide the quavering in her voice. "I just thought you were open to taking suggestions."

"Then," Silverstar said quietly, "I should let you know that leadership is my burden and mine alone." The ghost of a half-smile flitted on his face for a moment before vanishing as quickly as it had come. "Unless you would like to be... useful?"

Behind his words hid a poorly-hidden mockery. One of the apprentices in the crowd snickered, and Mousepaw felt her unsheathed claws beginning to tear and ground up the dirt.

 _What should I say?_

It was getting hard to think, though. She was desperately trying to hold back the hint of a hot tear, and her mind was coming down blank. _Just, whatever you say, don't be reckless._ The staring, unblinking eyes trained on her weren't helping either, and so wasn't her mother, who was standing just behind her.

 _Hold on._

 _My mother?_

She turned around, catching the gaze of Sorrelmist for just a moment—a neutral, closed expression that radiated an aura of your-fault-and-yours-only—and something snapped inside her. Burning hot anger blazed its way through her mind, and for a moment she wondered if it was the voices coming back.

But it was just anger, a quavering, bright, blistering anger, growing in the recesses of her mind, feeding on her doubts and only getting stronger by getting held back. She spun around to face Silverstar again, taking several assertive, purposefully arrogant steps forward.

"How?" Mousepaw demanded.

Some of the cats in the crowd snapped their heads up, interested in this sudden change of tone. She lifted her own chin up, hoping she looked brave. "Oh, I can be _useful_. Give me something to do... or do you think my suggestion was better after all?"

Mousepaw didn't have a plan. But if the goal was to provoke Silverstar, then it certainly worked. His expression darkened again, an oncoming storm against the darkness of midnight and a crescent moon. The leader leaned in closer, narrowing his eyes. "Huh. That's interesting."

She merely nodded, forcing herself to smile.

Silverstar began tapping his claws against the stone ground underpaw, tilting his head as if thinking. "There does appear to be someone that is beginning to target our clan... I cannot let this continue. Now, whoever it is, we need to find out who and offer consequences accordingly."

"Exactly."

"So..." He smiled, scraping ones of his claws on the stone perhaps a bit too loudly. "How about you receive the honor of getting to track down the scent first? I cannot afford to lose any more _useful_ cats anyway, so let's have you scout ahead and report back to us. I will send out a larger patrol once we have more information."

"That seems reasonable," Mousepaw said, though fear was beginning to creep up on her cold-edged tone again and she hated it.

"My point exactly." Silverstar studied her face carefully, then dropped his paw and settled back down in a more relaxed posture.

"So, it should be no problem for you to accept. If you succeed and bring back to us valid, detailed information, then I can safely assume that you may be a valuable addition to the clan and I will reward you with your Watcher name and ceremony. However..."

Mousepaw forced her expression to remain flat. "Go on, please."

"However, if you fail and you return either with nothing or anything too vague, I will be forced to conclude that your inclusion in our clan is not necessary. Therefore..."

There was a few moments of silence, broken only by the occasional, uneven dripping of water from a high ledge somewhere up above the camp.

"The consequence will be decided with your arrival," Silverstar finished at last.

Mousepaw was trying to listen, but her imagination wouldn't let her. The memories of her dream were starting to come back, clawed-off faces and disjointed limbs that reached out for her and glowing eyes in the dark. _That's what's going to happen to me,_ she realized. _That's the reason I'm going to die... all because I was being reckless in one conversation._ "Do—do I have to do this?" she stuttered.

Silverstar paused to smile again, which made her shiver. "If you choose to decline, then I can certainly arrange for the said consequence as well."

"N—no thanks," Mousepaw said quickly, stepping back. The confident facade was gone again, replaced by the self-doubt and uncertainty that she'd always been trying to change. The crowd was beginning to whisper, pointing at her with their tails and conversing among themselves. "I'll take the assignment, thank you."

"Good." Silverstar brushed his tail over the layer of dust on the ground, then raised it into the air as he got to his paws. "Get a piece of fresh-kill, then get going as soon as possible."

Mousepaw wasn't feeling hungry, though, and besides, she didn't feel like she had done anything to deserve it.

Despite the fact that a tiny part of her mind was jumping at the opportunity to prove herself, the vast majority of her felt like a scared little kit again, a lost soul among the masses. Even after Silverstar had disappeared back into his den and her mother went into hers without a word, she stayed there rooted to the spot, silently contemplating.

 _What did I just get myself into?_

 _I don't have a reputation to ruin anyway,_ she reminded herself yet again. But it wasn't reassuring anymore.

The other half of her mind completed the thought: _But I do have a life to lose._

Eventually, the entire crowd had dispersed, muttering to each other, until they had all disappeared back into their respective sleeping places. The entire clearing was empty, the whole place deserted and only silence reigned once again in the chill of the midnight air.

Except for Sootpaw.

He was standing right at the spot where the trail of herb scent picked up, and was staring at the ground with an unidentifiable expression that Mousepaw couldn't make out. Padding over to him softly, ducking her head, she said tentatively, "Sootpaw?"

He swiveled over to look in her direction... glaring.

She set her jaw, biting her lips, but continued anyway. "Sootpaw, do you think I was... brave to do that?" Mousepaw asked, cringing at her own words.

The medicine cat apprentice didn't even have to think about the question. The moment she finished her sentence, he replied, in a matter-of-fact tone, "No, you weren't brave. Just arrogant when you shouldn't have been."

Then with that, he turned and fled up the path to the medicine den, disappearing behind a curtain of ivy and anger before she could say another word.

* * *

By the time her outer lip stopped bleeding, Mousepaw was already half a territory away from the camp. She stopped every few steps to pause, sniffing the trail and making sure that it was still there, but her heart wasn't in it. Every single time her mind circled back to Sootpaw's words, she almost wanted to try dunking her head in water again just to see if her own thoughts would disappear as well.

 _That would be much easier for me..._

She shook her head.

 _No. Just think about something else._

The first thing she settled on, though, were the nightmarish visions from her own imagination, and she soon found her heart stopping at every shadow, every crevice, every conceivable place where she thought she saw something move from the corner of her eye. To distract herself, Mousepaw decided to focus even more on the trail—on something she could definitely sense.

She sniffed it yet again for the umpteenth time, and the same tang of herbs flowed back to her. There was something wrong about it, though. Even if the herbs were that strong-scented, they shouldn't have concealed every bit of the suspect themselves as they had. _How does that even work?_

Occasionally, a sour, unkempt odor would filter through, but it was faint and she could hardly tell it was there. But whoever it was, they were especially skilled at keeping their scent hidden... with herbs.

Doubt made Mousepaw pause for a moment. Her fur bristled, thinking of all the possible ways this could go down. _Did Finchheart do this after all?_

 _Did I just defend a traitor and kidnapper?_

She continued on, slower now, not really paying any attention to the landscape around her, a miserable and harsh environment yet hauntingly beautiful in its own way.

Shriveled grasses.

Thin layers of frost on every branch.

The tree limbs spread out crookedly like a shadowed monster about to fall down.

 _But that doesn't make sense at all. There's no motive if she did do this... or at least one you know about._

By the time that she realized where the trail was leading, it was already too late. Mousepaw suddenly came within range of the shadows of the towering mountains, making her snap her head up in attention, and then she was there—hidden among the tall, bent grasses, a sheer cliff face.

...and almost concealed too well to be seen, a large, shadowed entranceway.

Feeling her heartbeat speed up, Mousepaw bent down to sniff at the trail yet again, hoping desperately that she was wrong. The intensity of the scent almost made her draw back, though, and the freshness of it made her suspect that whoever it was, they had been here just a while ago. If she let the tunnel breeze carry the scents before her to her, moreover, she could even sense the faint tang of blood.

 _No._

 _Please._

 _It can't be._

 _It can't._

 _It can't it can't it can't._

Somewhere off to the distance, a lone owl hooted, and for a startled, jarring moment Mousepaw could almost swear she saw someone's face staring out at her from the darkness.

 _No._

 _Please no._

She took a step back, but the eyes were following her, imagined or not. Images of her father lying limp on the den floor came creeping back into her mind, the scars so evenly distributed throughout his body that they looked almost _intentional_. If he, such a strong and capable Watcher, had hardly escaped with his life, what chance did she have? Even thinking of the camp, drizzled in sunshine, wouldn't chase away her fears.

Because somehow, she knew what Silverstar's so-called 'consequence' would be.

 _StarClan, no matter what happens tonight... I am going to die._


	4. -one of us-

**Quick note: I'm not going to be updating for a week or two, because I have some things to do before I start updating again.**

 **If you notice these sort of things, I've also changed the summary. It's going to change a lot throughout the course of this story, and at the end, I'll compile all the versions together. Reason? No reason.**

 **If you don't know already (because I've been rather vague about it):** **NightClan is the only clan in Nightsong Valley. This is not, say, an alternative timeline. Them having supposed warrior ancestors also called StarClan might not be a coincidence, and I might tie it in to canon in the future. Like, the reason there's a random isolated clan in the middle of nowhere.**

 **No canon characters are going to appear, though; I want to make it so that they're all dead, but not necessarily forgotten, so they might be referenced or hinted at.**

 **In any case, please enjoy this chapter and thank you for reading! Reviews are appreciated :3**

* * *

 **.**

Entrance to the tunnels

 **.**

Chapter Four

 **.**

* * *

Mousepaw stood there, rooted to the spot, until the first rays of dawn began splashing over the horizon.

 _If I'm going to go in there, I might as well be smart about it,_ she thought. But when she peered into the tunnel entrance, she found out that the light level hadn't changed much in there at all—and, even worse, the scent trail had started to grow faint.

She kept waiting as the sun began to rise, painting the sky with streaks of pink and orange. She waited until the last of the nighttime darkness was stripped away, and found that she had no excuse to wait any longer. The tunnel entrance was not looking any more inviting, however, and not for the first time, she wondered where she'd be now if things had gone differently.

Padding down to the shadows that beckoned her forward, Mousepaw noticed that from where she was, she could see long, wooden beams arched over several points of the tunnel. Something about it looked deliberate, although not necessarily neatly done, but the unfamiliarity of it was enough to make her pause yet again.

 _Do I have to?_

She reconsidered.

 _Do I have a choice?_

That decided it. Mousepaw stopped right at the edge of where the shadows began, and stared into the darkness for a long time, trying to get her eyes to adjust. _If I need to do this, I might as well do it while the sun is strong and the trail can still be sensed._ Eventually, after she was able to make out the basic outline of the road ahead, she shivered—and padded inside.

The cold hit her immediately.

It was the kind of cold that felt damp, that burrowed in through fur, that sent chills to her bones—that killed. It was sort of like the type of cold in caves, but this was nothing like any normal cave that Mousepaw had been into. The ceiling was just so high, and the tunnel seemed to go on forever, enveloping her in its depths.

Occasionally, she would even come upon some strange artifact from the distant past: long, hard sticks, hollow boxes stuck in the dirt, traces of things long forgotten. _How come these objects look so... unnatural?_ she wondered, curiously prodding some sort of strange pelt lying on the ground.

Mousepaw's fascination soon dwindled, though, and quickly made way to wariness as she began padding out of the range of the little sunlight filtering in. In less than a heartbeat, the shadows encroached upon her fully once more. Bristling, she started moving a bit slower now. _Come on, scary kidnapper that may or may not have clawed my father._

 _I'm here. I'm not ready for you, but I'm here._

 _Come on._

For the first time, she began to notice the little things, perhaps as a result of her increased alertness, an instinctual habit that caused her senses to perk up and her steps to tread quieter: the thin layers of dust, the corners that invited shadows, the eerie, hollow way the sound echoed as she kicked aside a pebble or two. Every moment was a new opportunity for enemies to strike, for claws to come out of the darkness and snatch its victim. But as the heartbeats passed by and nothing came out to get her, Mousepaw paused to think and realized something.

She couldn't scent the trail anymore.

Trying not to panic, she backtracked a few steps and tasted the air again. To her relief, it was back, herb scent and sour tang and all. Taking a few moments to move around and sniff the ground whenever necessary, she realized that the trail didn't go on straight anymore—instead, it forked off to veer toward the right.

 _But that doesn't make sense at all. There's only stone wall over there. How could someone just disappear...?_

Something was wrong.

Mousepaw could feel it, but even as she whipped around with unsheathed claws, expecting someone to be staring right at her, she found nothing. That just made her more suspicious, though. Turning back toward where the trail ended, she took a closer look and realized that there was a boulder blocking the way. So there really was no way forward there after all.

 _Unless..._

Leaning against the large rock, digging her claws in and shoving as hard as she could, Mousepaw almost stumbled and fell when the boulder gave way immediately. Regaining her balance, she spun around, eyes wide as she realized what she'd found: a smaller side tunnel, carved lower into the stone this time but still a tunnel. _I knew it!_

Before heading in, though, Mousepaw hesitated and studied her claws. The scent trail clearly led here, and if there was a better place for shady, potentially murderous characters to mingle, she certainly couldn't find one. _So I have to be careful. Even more careful than usual._

 _Remember, you're not here to do anything. Just get enough information so that Silverstar can send out a patrol to rescue Hazellight._

Taking a deep breath, steadying herself against the stone wall, she ducked her head, feeling around the space with her whiskers before heading in—and promptly got smacked in the face.

Mousepaw stumbled back, her head pounding and suddenly feeling cracked open by a thunderbolt. She struggled to see what was happening, while blindly slashing the air in front of her, but no one came out of the side tunnel, nor was there was anyone now in the main one.

Then she saw the shadows.

There were several of them, cat shadows, levitating slightly above the ground and tilting their two-dimensional heads at her. Mousepaw whipped her head from side to side wildly, trying to find the source of them, but there was absolutely no one that she could see. _How? HOW?_

 _How is this possible?_

 _Those shadows are not even on the walls or ground!_

Not for the first time, she felt absolutely positive that she was about to die.

The one closest to her began floating ever nearer, not even having to move its paws. Feeling freaked out, Mousepaw backed away toward the wall—then realized that she was surrounded. Three spread out in a semicircle to block her way out, and the rest filled in the gaps right behind them. She was trapped. There wasn't a single direction she could run in.

Except one.

The three shadows in the first row edged toward her threateningly, and Mousepaw whipped around, dashing off into the side tunnel for all she was worth.

She didn't stop to look back over her shoulder, nor did she slow to consider where she was going. If one of those shadow things had abducted Hazellight, then the fact that she could hardly scent them would have made sense. Maybe they wanted to do the same to her, and maybe they didn't, but she wasn't taking any chances.

Mousepaw wasn't sure when she started to realize that the voices in her head were getting louder and louder. Eventually, though, the whispered mishmash of words became clearer the further she ran, and she had to stop to take a breath, gasping in air. _Please, not now,_ she pleaded.

The voices ignored her, as they always did.

Mousepaw glanced back, her head beginning to throb. There the shadows were, floating along rather leisurely as if they had all the time in the world. _Because they do,_ she realized with a stab of panic. If they were moving this slow, then they probably had no reason to chase her.

Meaning, they were backing her into the direction they wanted her to go in, and they could take their time doing it.

 _ **PLEASE, JUST FOR ME!**_ one of the voices cried. She gritted her teeth.

Just as the shadows were about to reach her, Mousepaw managed to pick herself up and keep running anyway.

 _ **HOW ARE YOU THIS CRUEL?**_

 _ **DO YOU POSSESS NO SYMPATHY?**_

 _ **AN INNOCENT, VULNERABLE KIT ALONG THE ROAD... DON'T YOU STOP AND HELP?**_

"Shut. _Up!_ " Mousepaw hissed, running much slower now, pausing every few moments to squeeze her eyes closed and try to block them, push the thoughts away, just like every single training session she had ever been in had told her to do. But nothing was working, and the shadows were beginning to close in. _Closing in, fading out, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide..._

 _ **I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!**_

 _ **I'LL MAKE YOU LEADER!**_

 _ **I'LL SLAUGHTER YOUR ENEMIES!**_

Mousepaw glanced back again desperately, but the situation didn't appear to be getting any better. She stopped yet again, knowing she could keep running but not finding a good enough reason to. "Oh, you guys just don't take no for an answer, do you?" she muttered sarcastically, not sure who she was talking to, the voices or the shadows.

Just as she backed away, though, a jolt of what felt like lightning shot down her spine and she was barely able to keep herself from collapsing.

 _ **YOUR SHADOW.**_

Realizing that was the last thing the voices said before the last time she blacked out, Mousepaw swallowed a lump in her throat and staggered over to the wall like a dying, hunted prey animal, pitiful and useless. _It's like failing the assessment yet again,_ she thought dully.

 _Except this time, the consequence for doing so seems to be a bit more serious._

The shadows kept moving closer, ominous and menacing without them having to do anything, but Mousepaw was no longer paying attention to them. She was no longer paying attention to anything. Her head was ducked, panting though not moving. She was digging her claws into the stone ground painfully to keep her balance, and her ears were folded back as if that would stop the stream of voices.

 _This is it, this is it, this is it..._

 ** _YOUR SHADOW! YOUR SHADOW!_**

 _Stop it._

 ** _ONE OF US!_**

 ** _JUST ONE OF US!_**

 ** _PLEASE!_**

 ** _ONE OF US!_**

 _Please, I don't know what you're talking about..._

Screens of darkness moved over Mousepaw's head, and somehow, she just knew that it was the end.

Half-transparent paws reached down to tug at her. Smoke-like, wispy tails hung down in front of her. _Stop playing with me and just get it over with,_ Mousepaw thought miserably with what little space in her head she still had.

But they didn't. Instead, she felt her scruff gently grasped and pulled into the air, while other shadows hurried to support her weight on either side. Mousepaw's mind was too muddled to really think this through, but she did feel confused that she was still alive. _I don't understand what they're waiting for..._

 _ **ONE OF US, ONE OF US...**_

She remembered being carried gently but firmly all the way through the rest of the side tunnel, then suddenly finding herself in a large, open space, a glittering, glistening lake of water before her...

 _ **ONE OF US... ONE OF US...**_

She remembered thinking that she was hallucinating, that she was just seeing what she wanted to see. But then the shadows began lowering her down from the ceiling, down, down, down...

 _ **JUST ONE OF US...**_

 ** _ONE..._**

Then a shocking blast of water hit her face, and she was dropped into the lake without a warning.

Mousepaw's eyes flew open.

The voices instantly stopped.

Her mind cleared.

Instinctively, she began churning her paws and kicking wildly, trying to get to the surface. Heartbeats later, she poked her head out, gasping in air and coughing out water. The shadows were now at the edge of the lake, watching her silently, but they no longer appeared threatening. Because now she realized what they just did for her.

Swimming slowly to the shore, she rested her paws on solid ground, then turned, trying to smile. The shadows didn't say anything, and didn't respond in any other way, but somehow, Mousepaw felt certain that they noticed the gesture. Struggling to climb out, she managed to get up just in time to see them float away through another tunnel that connected to the room, then disappear.

Mousepaw stared after them for a long time, then finally flopped onto the shore at last and lay on her side, trying to catch her breath.

 _They're not trying to be scary,_ she realized.

 _They're just sad... and lonely._

Only after several long moments did she get to her paws at last, where she finally noticed the russet vixen staring at her.


	5. -shattered, assembled-

**Hi. I lied. :D I couldn't bear to wait a whole week before updating. The other stuff that I'm editing will have sit by the sidelines for now.**

 **I swear, this fanfic is on my mind every minute of the day. I literally daydream about writing it at school... but at least it's winter break for me now!**

 **Reviews are appreciated, as always. :D In this chapter, we'll find out nothing and nothing will happen!**

 **(*cue for cheering*)**

* * *

 **.**

Talontip Pool

 **.**

Chapter Five

 **.**

* * *

In stories, Mousepaw had occasionally heard about foxes. They were somewhat rare around Nightsong Valley, but not unheard of. So it took a few moments for her to connect the ferocious monsters she was told about to the fox sitting in front of her, gazing at her with a strange intensity.

The vixen was only so much bigger than Mousepaw, and while she noted the sharp, glistening claws with wariness, there didn't appear to be any immediate danger. Besides, the vixen didn't seem to be particularly agile, contrary to the stories she had heard, even stumbling two times as it tried to get to its paws. Something about its movements was disturbing, but Mousepaw didn't dwell on it too long.

It opened its mouth, as if to yap, but then shut it again with a pained-looking grimace. Then, for a few moments, its face contorted, as if trying to make a particular expression but kept changing its mind. Eventually, though, it got back under control, and turned around, taking a few steps.

Mousepaw squinted. She didn't know too much about foxes, but she supposed that they were fairly intelligent creatures. Guessing that it wanted her to follow, she padded after it until she was right behind.

Swinging its furry head around to momentarily glance at her, it continued walking away from the pool in a strange jerky dance.

She followed, and soon they came to the entrance of three short tunnels, one of which she could see all the way through. The vixen chose the leftmost one, disappearing into its shadows with Mousepaw hot on its heels. Several moments later, they came into another large cavern, stalagmites and stalactites decorating the space.

Then Mousepaw looked up, and realized that the components of her nightmare were practically standing right in front of her.

Four cats stood in front of her, slightly too pale and with their silhouettes darkened but nothing too unusual. But the thing that really scared her were their body parts... or lack thereof.

The leading golden she-cat, despite being able to support herself steadily, was missing her right foreleg, half of her tail, and both her ears. There was no blood, no bones showing through; somewhere just below her chest, the leg just couldn't be seen anymore, like it was covered with something invisible. Moreover, what Mousepaw first took to be scars were soon revealed to be what they were: long, jagged lines running all throughout her body, splitting them into sections.

Like cracks in the earth.

Like she had been put back together rather messily... and some parts just couldn't be found.

The cats behind her, another she-cat and two toms, were rather the same: some missing legs, others part of their back, still others heads and tails. None of them seemed to show any pain, though. Instead, their gazes were all fixed upon Mousepaw calmly, though some were noticeably more hostile than others.

"Osprey, I did not ask for this," the golden she-cat meowed, padding forward. Mousepaw noticed that she wasn't limping at all, and her muscles all seemed to be moving. So was she just going blind? "I told you, no more cats until we're ready for the next step."

 _So the vixen has a name, and it's friendly to these cats?_ she wondered.

Then the fox spoke... or so she thought.

"This was not my doing," it said in a cool, collected female voice. Mousepaw snapped her head around, surprised, but noticed that the vixen's mouth wasn't moving at all as the voice spoke. It definitely was coming from that direction, though. "This kit came here of her own accord."

The golden she-cat squinted at Mousepaw with a suspicious expression, then straightened. It was only then that she realized how strange it was that she could hear without visible ears, like how she could move with a missing leg. "No matter. One of my cats can kill her after I have a talk with you."

Mousepaw stared at her for a moment, then jolted back to the present and realized what she'd said.

Her heart began beating faster again. She glanced around futilely for the shadow-spirits again, but they were nowhere to be seen. Her mind then wandered back to the NightClan camp, to the warm dens and the cold wind that blew at her, alone in the clearing, and realized that she'd never gotten a chance to say goodbye.

 _It doesn't matter. They won't miss me anyway,_ Mousepaw thought miserably.

 _There you go, guys. Just another useless cat disappearing into nowhere._

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted as the vixen next to her jerked and hissed, as if trying to escape constraints that wouldn't let it go. The rest of the three cats behind the golden she-cat moved forward with unreadable expressions on their faces, shifting into a circle around both fox and apprentice with their claws unsheathed. Mousepaw was reminded of the way the shadows grouped around her, except this time, the threat was real.

Then suddenly, what looked like a dark cloud rose up from the vixen's head and Mousepaw started, backing away.

It happened in less than a heartbeat. Just as the fox reared up on its hind legs, snarling, the cloud grew, darkened almost to black, and rose up, floating in the air. Then, as Mousepaw stared, she realized that it was shifting into the form of a flattened cat silhouette.

This shadow looked exactly like those that had dropped Mousepaw into the pool.

Except this one didn't look quite as friendly.

Her heart skipped a beat. _I'm not entirely sure that's what happened, but... can these things possess anyone whenever they want to?_

Mousepaw couldn't tell, but she thought it looked like a she-cat. Featureless, colorless, it turned its head to the golden-furred leader, then raised its hackles, taking a few angry steps toward her. Maybe it was trying to growl or say something, but no sound came out.

The golden she-cat didn't seem to notice, calmly tipping her head to the side and scratching her invisible ears. "Hmm," she meowed, unimpressed. "In any case, if you're quite done being angry over there, please feel free to follow me into my den."

She gestured with her tail over to a small hole along the cave wall, then without waiting for a response, she padded calmly over and disappeared into the darkness. The spirit that had come from the vixen still looked furious, perhaps murderously so, but stormed off after her anyway, vanishing into the den as a shadow against shadows.

Only Mousepaw, the vixen, who was hissing and growling in hostility, and the three other cats remained.

Mousepaw glanced around futilely, hoping for a break in the circle, but there didn't appear to be any way she could slip past... unless she fought, which she wasn't going to count on. Moreover, as if the ring wasn't tight enough already, five more cats quietly appeared from the nearby cave dens, joining the band of guards.

Immediately, any previous hope of being able to fight their way out as a team of fox and apprentice went up in smoke.

She wasn't sure why, but in those moments, all those memories in the last moons of almost dying and thinking she was dying flooded back to her. Something about it was strange, constantly expecting the worst. Except this time, someone actually wanted her dead and had no doubts about being able to do it.

 _How is that she-cat going to kill me?_ she wondered.

 _Slash my neck, maybe. How many seconds can I survive with a ripped throat?_

 _Choke me?_

 _Hold me underwater in that pool?_

Then, as she began to sink deeper and deeper into desperation, more gruesome possibilities began to surface in her mind.

 _Break all my legs first?_

 _Or slice off my ears and face?_

 _Twist her claws into my underbelly?_

Thinking of it all made Mousepaw dizzy and disoriented, and this time, it had nothing to do with the voices. She slumped down against the vixen's flank, who had now ceased pacing around but was still snarling whenever a guard got too close, and muttered, "It seems like this is the end for us, girl."

Then she heard it.

" 'Ey!" a tom's voice called from the other side of the cavern.

Mousepaw spun around, expecting another cat to come join the throng of guards, but this black-and-white tom didn't have any missing body parts at all. Rather, his eyes had a gleaming quality to them that the others lacked. This one actually looked like a real cat, which she found strange. But real or not, there he was, striding across the ground toward them. He tilted his head, looking interested.

"Is that really what we do around here?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "Come on, guys." The tom sounded so casual, like he was talking about what to have for lunch instead of negotiating with Mousepaw's death.

He looked so out of place here, she noticed... and somehow that made her feel better, like she had finally found another outsider.

The guards shifted uneasily, though didn't move from their spots. The tom padded a bit closer, playfully poking the closest gray she-cat in the cheek. "Someone talk to me!" he sighed, though with a smile still flitting on his face. "That's not nice. Just ignoring me like that."

None of them responded. They did seem annoyed, though.

Mousepaw squinted at him. "So you're not one of them?" she asked, trying to suppress a sudden feeling of hope.

 _Stop. Expect the worst. Be suspicious,_ she thought, imprinting the mantra into her mind.

"One of them?" the tom laughed. "Them? Those practically mindless zombies over there?" Unsheathing his claws, he waved them in front of the same she-cat's face. She flinched back, and unsheathed her own claws, but then seemed confused as of what to do. "Or, statues, judging by their behavior sometimes," he mused. "But, hypothetically, what would you do if I weren't?"

Mousepaw was too focused on trying to figure out the strange cats with the missing limbs that she hardly heard him. Somehow, she had a feeling that he wasn't just merely insulting them when he called them zombies. "I don't know. Can't you get me out of here?"

The tom chuckled again. It was one of the most real chuckles she'd ever heard, not like those the-situation-is-terrible-so-I'll-laugh-to-make-it-less-awkward chuckles back in NightClan. Or her own I-can't-even-deal-with-this-anymore-so-I'm-just-going-to-laugh-for-no-reason chuckles.

"Straight to the point, aren'tcha?" he laughed. "Huh, well, I would like to free you, but those murderous looks you're giving me are _scary_."

Scowling, Mousepaw kept training her glare on his face. She was pretty sure that was sarcasm. "I'm serious. That she-cat that went into the den with the shadow thing is going to kill me in a few moments, quite literally. Do the right thing and let us go."

"Oh, stop preaching." He rolled his eyes again, and it took all of Mousepaw's self-control not to smack him in the face. "I can do whatever I want. But for that vixen friend of yours? Oh, maybe I'll help _her_."

"I'm trying to take you seriously right now," Mousepaw growled, "and you're not helping."

"Oh, my starshine." The tom placed one paw over his heart, a mockery of hurt feelings. "That's a staggering blow. Ow. But really, can you smile? Have you ever smiled in your life?" He turned around, and began padding away as Mousepaw felt a sudden jolt of panic. "Oh, and you don't need me to escape anyway."

Mousepaw stared at him for a moment in shock, then yelled in desperation, "No! Hold on! Come back! I'm sorry!"

"Gee, quick to change your mind, huh?" the tom snorted, pausing. "No, what I was saying was true. Like, you actually don't need me. Just say or do a bunch of random stuff to confuse them, push past, and there you go. It's not that difficult in reality. The only thing keeping you here is your own doubt." He suddenly got a thoughtful look on his face. "Come to think of it, that's both much more effective and less messy than tooth and claw."

She tilted her head, some of the anger fading away. "Really?"

"Here, I'll show you."

Padding back to the throng of guards, he waved a tail in several of their faces and let it tickle their muzzles. They merely stepped back, but didn't say anything or respond in any other way. Next, he raised a paw and began poking the middle cat, an old-looking black tom in the back repeatedly. Eventually, the tom turned around, as if trying to look for the cause of this. Then as Mousepaw watched, he soon resorted to spinning around and around, a frown on his face, as if chasing his own tail.

"That's cool, but slightly disturbing," Mousepaw admitted, stepping past so she could stand next to the black-and-white tom. The vixen, interested in this turn of events, followed her out as well. "How did they get like this?"

"They're not really important," he explained. "The one you really have to worry about is that golden she-cat you mentioned earlier, the one who calls herself Leopard. She got more memories when she was made."

Mousepaw frowned, trying to understand his words but still deeply confused. "Memories?"

"Hah, wow, you _really_ don't know anything about this place, do you?"

He chuckled, but then a sudden flash of something unknown flashed across his face, and his expression grew darker as he lowered his voice to a whisper. "I need to ask you something. This might sound crazy, but I sorta need to know this."

"Go ahead."

He hesitated only for a moment as he began leading her back toward the main cavern with the pool, glancing back at the guards with a wary glance. "Do you hear voices in your head?"

* * *

 **If some of the stuff seems like repeats from my earlier fanfics, sorry. I promise the focus will be on different things this time.**


	6. -a collection-

**So, some of the explanations in this chapter might not make sense, and it might even feel like a repeat from some of my earlier stories. But believe me, the main focus of this story is not going to be getting possessed by spirits. (I'm getting a bit sick of that, too.)**

 **I also have no idea why all my writing lately, from fanfics to novel manuscripts, have some sort of theme about souls and creepy enchantments and dead people.**

 **Oh, and I sincerely hope you don't mind the cliffhangers too much... I just make them at the end of every chapter.**

* * *

 **.**

Cavern camp

 **.**

Chapter Six

 **.**

* * *

There were several ways Mousepaw could have responded to this.

One, she could have ignored him with the power of selective hearing. (Though, thinking about it, she thought, that probably wouldn't have worked.) Two, she could have tried to change the subject subtly or steer the conversation away from her, which she was actually rather skilled at. Three, she could have reminded him of their current situation and told him to focus on more immediate problems first.

Mousepaw didn't do any of those.

Part of her wanted to. Part of her was scared of what he'd say next, of what the conversation would turn to, of what this would mean for her future. Somehow, she got the feeling that in a place like this, things were never what they seemed, and she didn't want to trust him.

But on the other paw was curiosity, and curiosity always got the best of her. Something about the way he talked made her want to find out more, and even she didn't trust him, there was much to be gained from listening... though if he was lying, that was another problem altogether. So instead, she said, "Do you?"

The tom barked a short chuckle, then quickly silenced himself. "No, although that question is a bit ironic, given who you're talking to," he said. Mousepaw wanted to ask him what he meant, but she didn't get a chance to before he went on. "But, really, do you?"

Mousepaw slipped out of the tunnel alongside him into the cavern with the pool again, then paused. "Maybe. But who are you? How are you the only person in this entire place who doesn't appear to have invisible body parts?" Then, suddenly remembering what she came here for, she continued, "Oh, and, did anyone bring in a small gray tabby she-cat in here earlier?"

"Hold up, hold up," the tom said, raising a paw. "Slow down. So, I'm afraid I can't tell you who I am, but I promise that I mean you no harm." He lowered his head, turning away from her. "But as for the other questions... I'm about to explain right now."

They turned to the middle tunnel this time, which winded through the darkness for a bit longer before ending at another cavern, except much smaller. There was also a small skylight hole on the ceiling, which let in a view of the outside world. It wasn't this that caught Mousepaw's attention, however—rather, she noticed that the cave was illuminated by something sitting in the center.

She gasped.

It looked like a smooth, round rock, but as far as she was concerned, rocks didn't glow a startling bright golden color. It looked rather more like a piece of the sun, actually, being no larger than one of her paws. "H-how does this thing work?" she demanded.

The tom shrugged, shifting his paws uncomfortably. "I'm not going to find out. The only thing I know is, it wasn't here a moon ago. One day, several days ago... it literally just appeared in the middle of the room like that. Maybe it fell down from there." He flicked his tail toward the hole in the ceiling.

"Say what?"

"I know, it sounds crazy. If you want your paw to get burned off, go ahead and touch it, but you probably won't find out anything without a thorough investigation, and that's pretty much impossible."

"Because of the heat?" Mousepaw guessed. Sure enough, even from this distance, she could already feel the heat emanating from the stone in waves, just like getting too close to a fire.

He chuckled. "Hah, sharp one, aren't you?" he teased sarcastically. "Besides, you probably won't get too far in there anyway."

"Huh?" she asked, confused.

"Never mind," he said, waving a paw through the air. "The important thing is, I'm sure you'll want to hear an explanation after all this. So, urgent matters first: on that gray tabby you were talking about? Truth is, two she-cats were dragged in here earlier, but I'm not really sure what their pelt colors were. I mean, I don't really pay attention to these sort of things."

If Mousepaw looked closely, she could almost see the start of a blush. Before things got too awkward, she quickly replied, "It has to be the ones that disappeared from our camp today. There can't be anyone else."

"Great, then. Mystery solved."

He flashed her a grin, then suddenly, his face fell, as if remembering something. "Oh, wait, hold on."

Mousepaw's heart sank. "Um, yeah?"

He glanced at her apologetically, before explaining, "If you're looking to bring them back to your camp, then I'm afraid that's... well, rather impossible. Now, I'm talking about the actual-impossible, not the impossible-because-someone-said-so kind of impossible."

"Just tell me what happened."

The tom cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. They're sort of dead."

Silence hung heavily in the air for a few moments, and then he continued quickly, "Their bodies are in the last room, leading from the tunnel to the right. I'm really sorry." He gulped. "If they were particularly close to you, by any chance..."

"No, no." Mousepaw sighed. Her hopes were starting to plummet again, freefalling with thorny branches snagging away their wings. "It's fine. I don't even know one of them, but... bringing them back was important for my clan." She swallowed a lump in her throat. "So, I guess, true, they're important to me."

He gave her a funny look for a moment, then set his jaw and looked down at his paws.

Many long heartbeats of silence followed her words, then finally, he said, "I don't even know your name. Maybe we should introduce ourselves. I'm Lightning."

"I'm Mousepaw." She took a deep breath. "I don't understand why they killed Finchheart and Hazellight."

"That's what I'm about to explain," Lightning said. "It's rather a bit complicated, so listen closely. Plus, this subject is a bit hard for me to talk about." Before she could ask him what he meant, he continued, "So, you're familiar with the concept of souls, right?"

Mousepaw frowned. "I... I guess. How does this have to do with..."

Then it hit her. "Oh. They use the soul for something, right? Like... an energy source."

"No. That's how souls are usually portrayed, though," Lightning said. "To begin with, there are spirits and then there are the souls inside them."

"I thought they were the same thing."

Lightning nodded. "Pretty much, but we'll just call them that for simplicity's sake. Instead of an energy source, souls are rather a collection of memories, experiences, and knowledge, which can be torn apart and put back together. Basically, what you think of as you isn't really that much of you."

"That... sounds complicated and slightly depressing."

"Couldn't have described it better myself," Lightning said with a snort. "The point is, when someone dies... well, you've heard about StarClan and the Dark Forest, correct?"

Mousepaw smiled grimly. "Ha, some cats told me that I'd definitely be heading to the Dark Forest. I mean, I'm a failure but I can't be that bad."

"Just try not to take it to heart if you can't ignore them," Lightning advised. "In any case, you probably know that it takes a while for someone's spirit to travel to either one, but what they don't tell you is that the journey was also dangerous and... uh, on the way, you aren't quite yourself."

"Do I really want to know what that means?"

Lightning nudged her shoulder lightly. "It doesn't matter, because I'm going to tell you anyway. So, right after death, the different parts of your soul are basically struggling to hold themselves together. Now, maybe you've wondered about this... but a cat's spirit doesn't just automatically know where it goes. Someone actually decides, and they can make mistakes."

"Oh." Maybe she _was_ going to the Dark Forest after all. "So... who decides?"

"Usually one of the oldest spirits, whom no one remembers anyway, along with advice from others. They also guard the passageway to StarClan, and that passageway is the least dangerous part of the road. No one guards the Dark Forest entrance. They just trust the souls that aren't granted passage to StarClan to go there."

Mousepaw's ears perked up. "Um, and they really are just fine with condemning themselves to eternal isolation?"

"Believe me, it's the best choice they've got," Lightning said. "The rest of the path goes on after the two passageways, and this is where the dangerous part comes in. Being out there in the open like that, going into neither one... something's bound to happen to them."

He lowered his voice. "Believe me, there are far, far more cats that didn't get into neither StarClan or the Dark Forest, and they're usually sentenced to wander the border forever, a shifting expanse that never has a fixed spot. That's why there's a separate road for it. But occasionally, they get a chance to converse with either side."

"So why don't we know about them?"

"Because along the path to the border, their souls were ripped apart by... her."

One more awkward silence stretched between them before Lightning finally went on. "Before her time, the path was still particularly dangerous but not flat-out impossible to trek. Maybe a few got across. But ever since she began settling down there... well, not a single one has gotten through."

"So who's that 'she' you're talking about?"

Lightning hesitated, glancing over his shoulder like he expected her to be staring at him right now. Like he had met her personally. "Driftsong. Someone who lived long before your NightClan was even formed. She's... well, she's quite nasty, to say it frankly. She's dead set on completing some sort of sadistic project, and that brings us to the likes of Leopard."

"Oh?"

He fidgeted uncomfortably, as if he wasn't quite sure how to say the things on his mind. "She's... planning to kill you all," he blurted. "Every single cat in NightClan, down to the kits, and she's going to use her followers like Leopard to do that. Though, they're not really followers. More like her servants."

"That's horrible," Mousepaw said firmly. "Maybe they don't even want to wipe us out. Maybe we can negotiate."

Lightning looked a bit amused at this. "Oh, they hardly have enough in their thick skulls to have wants of their own. That's the part I'm getting to. See, they're not actual living cats like you... and, and I. This is going to sound impossible, but they're more like... I don't really know how to describe this. It's rather like memories, experience, knowledge, instinct, and maybe a bit of emotion from different souls, put together carefully."

Mousepaw's eyes widened. "She can _do_ that?"

"I mean, we're here, so, apparently." Lightning sighed. "Sorry, some parts of this just touch back on... personal memories. But, as I was saying, their outer appearances are only facades. Driftsong basically just took a whole bunch of those things I said earlier, and arranged them inside empty spirits lying on the ground. Sort of like corpses."

"Ugh, that sounds disgusting," Mousepaw admitted. "Sort of like stuffing."

Lightning shrugged, looking a bit uncomfortable. "Because there are other monsters along the path, those that'll only devour the soul but not its shell. Except, some of the visible body parts might have faded away over time."

They stood quietly for a while, each absorbed in their own thoughts, before Mousepaw replied, "Do you know why Driftsong is doing this?"

"She's just a monster," Lightning said simply, looking away.

"Her motives don't make sense, though."

Suddenly, the vixen hissed, turning around and glaring fiercely. Mousepaw perked her ears too, listening alertly, eyes trying to make out anything in the darkness.

Then she heard the footsteps.

Mousepaw started, turning around. Lightning cursed under his breath, glancing around wildly. "I shouldn't have taken this long. I don't know what I was thinking. Quick, hide somewhere and I'll cover for you."

"Hide where?"

The footsteps were getting louder and louder, and not waiting for a response, Mousepaw scanned the room quickly, taking a step toward the shining stone. Something about its warmth was almost hypnotizing, though, and it had a drowsy feel to it.

"No, stay awake," she muttered fiercely, curling up against the wall as small as she could.

Long shadows loomed against the entrance, and Mousepaw inched even closer toward the stone, feeling the heat searing her fur but not caring.

Unexplained forces began pulling at her eyelids, and before she knew it her eyes were squeezed shut.

* * *

The next time Mousepaw opened her eyes, someone was standing in front of her.

Someone that looked exactly like her.


	7. -sinking worlds-

**.**

Dream world

 **.**

Chapter Seven

 **.**

* * *

For a moment, Mousepaw was too stunned to speak.

This short-furred gray she-cat looked almost exactly like her, down to the last detail. Even her dark amber eyes were shaped the same way, although there was a mischievous, off-key glint in the other's that she didn't have. Mousepaw felt dizzy—she was still in the same cave as before, but Lightning wasn't here now and neither was the vixen.

How had they disappeared? How much had happened while she was _asleep_?

"I—I need to get to Lightning," Mousepaw protested. "Leopard might have hurt him for helping me." She swallowed a lump in her throat, and tried to get up, but her legs gave way and she fell again. "I can't let that happen. If you can lead me to him, I'll be so thankful, just, please..."

"Calm down," the other she-cat said, holding up a paw.

Mousepaw squinted at her, trying to hold back anger—was that amusement in her expression? "Stop rambling," she said. "I'm just trying to protect you here, you know, do what I can in the little time I have. I promise you're completely safe, at least for the time being, until you get back to the present."

Suddenly, a idea hit Mousepaw like lightning.

"So am I... in a dream?" she whispered, unbelieving. "Or is this StarClan?" Her heart pounding, she demanded, "Does that mean I'm dead, and you're a spirit?"

The other she-cat sighed, rolling her eyes. "Delusional, not the sharpest, cannot distinguish StarClan from a cave, and cannot distinguish awesome me from a glowing corpse," she noted, as if adding to a mental list. "Of course I'm not a spirit, honey. I'm just me."

"I would hate to find out if you're related to me," Mousepaw growled, finally managing to stand up on all fours. "How do you look exactly like me?"

Not-Mousepaw laughed, casually flicking a tail over her ears. "I guess you can say I'm related," she mused. "But, ah, not quite there." Tilting her head, she muttered to herself, "I can't believe this is what I would have looked like with the voices... I could never have been that flimsy. Never."

Mousepaw squinted, trying to make sense of her words.

Then, with a creeping sense of dread, she realized what this meant.

"I... are you..." Mousepaw swallowed, refusing to make eye contact. "Is it that you're who I would have been if there was never a curse in NightClan?"

The she-cat smiled, flashing perfect teeth at her. "Finally! I was starting to get a bit impatient. Let's get this party started, shall we?"

The ground rumbled underneath them. Stone cracked. Bits of soil pushed through the splinters. Then the floor caved in altogether, dragging Mousepaw down into the depths and enveloping in her in a whispering, tugging darkness.

* * *

Mousepaw didn't know where she was at first.

She didn't know who she was, or when this was happening, or even what was happening. The only thing she knew was confusion, and lots of it. It felt like there was something tugging at her mind, dissecting the various parts and pulling everything out, but suddenly it all stopped and the memories came rushing back to her.

The most recent one hit her the hardest: falling through the ground, getting swallowed up by the earth and the impending darkness. Mousepaw shivered, and as her vision started to come back, she realized that she was on an open moor. Blue, clear sky spread endlessly in all directions, and the windswept grass waved peacefully underneath her, brushing her legs and tickling them.

Mousepaw spun around, and soon found herself face to face with the other her—the one who had stolen her identity.

Or that she had stolen from.

"H-how did you do that?" she demanded. "How did you manage to make me feel like that? Like you're pulling apart my mind?"

"I can do anything here!" the other Mousepaw said with glee. "This is my world, after all. Making the earth cave in, the trees to grow wings, the birds to turn rainbow-colored and then drop dead to the ground—I mean, name it, I'll do it." She frowned. "I mean... well, not everything. I can't do everything I want to other cats that are here, like you. But I can try."

Mousepaw scowled, her hackles raising. "So am I in a dream or not?"

"Not quite," the other her explained cheerfully. "But close. See, you aren't actually sleeping, just taken out of your world for a brief moment. Once all this is over, you'll go back to Lightning and Leopard and whatever other L-beginning-named friends you have.

"Taken out of the real world, you mean."

"Real world? There is no real world." The other Mousepaw wrinkled her nose, tilting her head. "The spirit world can't be sensed, so does that mean it's less real? Does that make this place less real?" She sighed. "It would be sad if this wasn't real. I can do anything I want here, including raising up my dead enemies without using that unreliable soul method and killing them, over and over again."

Mousepaw squinted at her suspiciously. "If you really are me, then you don't sound like it. Plus, the spirit world is definitely more real than this. This is just..." She struggled to find the right word. "Just like a hallucination. I can't prove this place is real."

"That goes for your spirit world too," she countered. "If, and only if indeed it cannot be proven. Plus, isn't this just like your medicine cats and your precious StarClan?"

"Let's get back on track," Mousepaw growled. "I don't want to go in circles here. So." She leaned in closer, trying to look menacing. "Reason that I'm here?"

The other Mousepaw rolled her eyes, rocking back on her haunches. "Dunno. Didn't I already say? To protect you. Give you time to think things over before you get back to the present. Plus, to give you some... advice." Here, her eyes gleamed and filled with a strange light.

Mousepaw took a step back hurriedly.

"I can't be sure whether you're tricking me or not," she said uncertainly. "Maybe I really am dead."

"By StarClan," the other her exclaimed, "you really do have morbid thoughts. I mean, what would I get out of tricking you? This is just like your medicine cats receiving an omen in, say, a dream. If I have to say, they're not actually dreaming, in technical terms. More like, StarClan pulling their consciousness away for a split second to another 'world' of their creation."

"Right, and I should totally trust you, a total stranger, over my birth clan," Mousepaw said, scowling.

The other her seemed disappointed. Mousepaw was having a hard time determining whether she was actually hurt or just trying to pretend so. "But I'm not a total stranger. I'm you. I'm sure you trust yourself, right?" She winked.

"I'm not touching that with a tail-length stick."

"My StarClan. Grouchy, huh? I'm hoping it's just a bad day." Mousepaw's doppelgänger put up both her front paws, trying to mock looking intimidated. "Point is, it seems you're usually suspicious of strangers. That's good, I suppose. Just wish you'd do that more for your new flashy friend than me."

Mousepaw frowned. "Lightning, you mean?" For some reason, even she had just met him, she couldn't imagine him being menacing. "Er, sure, I'll be careful."

"Finally. Thank you."

They stood staring at each other in silence for a while, before Mousepaw finally asked, "So what should I call you?"

"No, what should I call _you_?" the other her interjected. "In some version of time unknown to you, I'm more real than you." She grinned, as if this was all just a game to her. "To me, I'm the real Mousepaw, and you're some other 'me' that I have to protect."

"How did you even get here, anyway? I mean, why me?" Mousepaw wondered aloud. "If there actually is a version of NightClan out there that has never heard of the curse... then there should be other timelines, too. So why are you coming here to this one in particular? Did StarClan tell you something?"

Then, a new thought came to her, and she suddenly felt much more self-conscious than she usually did. "Um... do your clanmates like you any better?"

The other Mousepaw tsk-tsked to herself, seemingly amused. "I gather that yours don't appreciate you much."

"That's not my fault." Mousepaw scowled again. "My voices just come more frequently and harshly than theirs do. If they knew how I felt, they wouldn't be avoiding me like the plague." Suddenly, though, she thought of Sootpaw, and quickly changed the subject. "In any case, how are you able to contact me?"

"Nothing that you need to know," the other her responded smoothly.

"I do," she insisted. "I really do. I can't trust you otherwise. How do I even know you're who you say you are?"

"Because I have proof."

"Oh?" she said skeptically. "Really?"

The other Mousepaw nodded fervently. "Really."

"So show me right now."

"I will," the other her promised, with that strange light back in her eyes. "I promise this will convince you, even if you don't like it."

"I don't like the sound of that."

Mousepaw didn't get a chance to say anything else, though. The ground was starting to tremble again, and her last thought before the earth swallowed her up was, _StarClan! Can't you make this any less dramatic, please?_

* * *

Then she nearly got a heart attack.

Bent, dried grasses surrounded her on all sides, just as she'd known her entire life. Stone walls rose up before her, with the cracks and holes placed exactly as she remembered. For a wild, confusing moment, Mousepaw thought all that had just happened was a dream and now she was awake, back in the NightClan camp.

That was when she saw the happy, adoring faces in the crowd.

Silverstar was sitting on top of the Skyrock as usual, but his expression didn't carry the same weight that it usually did. The entirety of NightClan was sitting around him, and around her, the other Mousepaw, whispering and sneaking glances at her whenever possible.

Mousepaw stiffened, thinking immediately that they were all talking scornfully about her other self. But then she listened in, and what she heard made sharp, painful, unwanted pangs of jealousy run through her mind.

"I want to be just like her when I grow up!" a ginger and gray she-kit exclaimed. Mousepaw recognized her as Minnowkit, one of the more outgoing kits in the clan. "Then I'll be senior Watcher! Then deputy! Then leader! Then—"

"Then dead," Fennelkit reminded her, nudging her sister playfully. "Totally what I want to be."

Silverstar cleared his throat. Mousepaw was suddenly aware of how much she was in plain view, and glanced nervously around, but no one seemed to notice her. Maybe they couldn't notice her. She was just by the sidelines, watching her other self's memories, after all.

"She has shown her skill and intellect many times over," Silverstar announced, "and it is for this reason that I welcome her into the clan fully as a Watcher. From this moment on, you will be known no longer as Mousepaw, but as Mousetail."

 _This is what I should be getting,_ Mousepaw realized. _If things had gone differently in the past. This would have been reality for me... instead of some random stranger who probably didn't deserve it._

She caught herself.

The other her raised her chin proudly, as the crowd around her burst into cheering. "Mousetail! Mousetail!" they yelled enthusiastically.

Mousepaw gritted her teeth. "I get it, other me," she hissed loudly. "I get it, I get it. So your life is all fluffy and perfect. Now get me out of here."

The air in front of her shimmered, and she nearly jumped right out of her pelt. Just as she managed to regain her balance, the other Mousepaw—or Mousetail—materialized fully in front of her. She had a self-satisfied expression on her face.

"I did have to work for that admiration, you know," she said. "But, I see you get the point."

"So what now?"

The other Mousepaw flashed her that mysterious smile again. "Now you've seen how different things can go, just based on a single factor. Now, what if I told you that there was a way to get rid of the voices? Not just temporarily, not just for you, but for everyone, forever?"

Mousepaw frowned. If that really was possible, she knew she should be thrilled, but cold feelings of dread were closing in their claws on her throat. "How?"

"The only thing you have to do is get rid of the one who allows those spirits to enter your mind in the first place."

"Killing them, you mean."

Right at that moment, before the other her could answer, Mousepaw's vision began swimming again. This time, she suspected it wasn't just her. Her other self rubbed her ears anxiously, then sighed. "I'm afraid I have to go. I don't have forever, you know. Just make sure to remember what I said."

"Mousepaw!" she heard Lightning's voice yell from somewhere above her. "Get up! Leopard's... she's..."

Her vision of NightClan first wavered like an illusion, then splintered away altogether. The last thing she saw before she regained full consciousness were those eyes, her amber eyes but not quite hers, gleaming with an unidentified emotion that didn't feel right at all.

* * *

 ***shakes sign labeled "Please review :D" aggressively***

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **~Storm**


	8. -contemplation in the dark-

***looks down at chapter* This can't be good. Someone please keep a head injury count for the fanfic. I'll give them a shoutout at the end at of the fanfic! (Not sure if I'm kidding or not. But it'll be nice if someone really did.)**

 **There's some angst in this chapter. Just a warning if you don't like that kind of stuff.**

 **Sorry, it's really short. I couldn't find any new material to put in here, and I wanted it to stop at the point that it did. The next chapter will be a bit longer than usual to make up for it.**

* * *

 **.**

Middle cave in the tunnels

 **.**

Chapter Eight

 **.**

* * *

Mousepaw snapped awake, suddenly aware of her own racing heart.

Her vision was blurry for the first few moments. Flashes of color and indefinite shape moved in front of her, and she could feel blood pounding in her head. She blinked repeatedly, but that hardly helped at all. Mousepaw gritted her teeth, trying to focus. _If I could, I would never feel this helpless again._

Then a heavy figure slammed into her side, and the next thing she knew, she was sent rolling.

Training in NightClan had briefly covered fighting moves, but it wasn't worth elaborating on. There weren't a lot of enemies to battle anyway, and they had more urgent things to focus on. Mousepaw had even thought herself as being mildly good at it—but the only thing in her mind was panic as paws pinned her to the ground and claws closed around her neck.

 _Fight, you idiot!_ she thought to herself, but the aching in her chest was unbearably distracting, and her windpipe felt like it was being crushed. Her vision had finally come back, although it wasn't of any use now. Most importantly, she was running out of air. No matter how hard Mousepaw tried to twist her head around or struggle, the weight pinning her down was just too much.

 _Useless, useless, useless..._

The claws around her throat slowly lifted, and Mousepaw thought for a brief second that Lightning had come to rescue her. But the moment after she took a desperate, gasping breath, the claws found their way to her head instead and slammed it toward the rock wall.

Pain like she had never known before racked her skull.

For a moment, Mousepaw felt the sensation of flying. Something appeared to be weighing her body down to the ground, but her head was as light as air, being tugged up toward the clouds. The pain soon came again, though, stronger than ever before, and she collapsed.

 _Twice in two days, Mousepaw._ _Twice in two days._

Then she blacked out.

* * *

That same dream that she had last night came back.

They surrounded her. Cats with twisted, permanently etched smiles, jerky movement, and empty eyes. They were all positioned in a neat, single file line, staring at her with their empty eyes. Mousepaw didn't feel quite scared, though. She was just tired. So tired, so done with it all, down to every single bone in her body that she didn't feel like moving ever again.

So it was in a state of delirium when she finally, blearily, opened her eyes.

Mousepaw was in a dark cave, and the first thing she noticed were the two corpses beside her. Black, white, and gray, piled up against the wall like pieces of prey. She knew who they were immediately with a pang, and then realized where she must be. Looking up, she noted that she saw only tiny slivers of light where the entrance to the cave should be.

 _Probably some sort of boulder blocking it._

She knew she should try to stretch, move around, get the feeling back into her limbs again and, for StarClan's sake, stop that infernal pain that still wracked her skull. But Mousepaw didn't feel like doing anything. The one chance she had to prove herself, and it had already ended with two cats dead... probably three, if Leopard meant what she'd said earlier.

 _Their souls can go get eaten by a malicious immortal spirit. I don't care._ Mousepaw rested her head gently on her tail, then buried it beneath her paws. _Leopard's free to murder whoever she wants. Lightning can go off to the edges of the earth and never come back._

She shifted her position so she was lying on the ground, her underbelly exposed.

 _They can all follow him and jump off for all I care._

 _Maybe in the Dark Forest, Sedgefoot can happily torture apprentices for the rest of his life. Silverstar can ruin lives elsewhere. Sorrelmist and Gorseshade can have another litter of spirit kits and fail them as well. Maybe his scars will heal, maybe they won't. Either way, he probably got them by escaping from this place. I won't, though._

 _I'll die._

 _But as for the rest..._

Mousepaw didn't want to think about it, but the question stayed in her mind nonetheless. _How does Leopard know that the spirits of the cats she murders are going to neither StarClan nor the Dark Forest? Maybe she picks the cats she kills based on their morality. I don't know Hazellight, but Finchheart..._

 _She couldn't have been deserving of anything less than StarClan._

She shifted uncomfortably. _Finchheart was a_ medicine cat _. Had all that time that StarClan spent supposedly sending her dreams and giving her advice been wasted? Had all that time that Finchheart spent practically worshiping them been overlooked?_

 _Does StarClan really care about us?_

 _Do they just..._

 _If Leopard murders..._

 _If Leopard murders every single cat in NightClan..._

 _Then how would she guarantee anything?_

 _How would she guarantee that their souls would be ripped apart by that immortal being Lightning was talking about?_

 _Do StarClan..._

 _Did they stop accepting NightClan cats into their ranks some time ago?_

Mousepaw rolled onto her side, closing her eyes and trying to hold back tears. _They won't do that._

 _They can't do that._

 _Unless they do._

 _In which case everything I had built up over the course of this life was completely wasted._

 _I lied to myself. I thought it didn't matter. I thought that it wouldn't matter if I died, and in many things, I was right. But despite what I tell myself, I really do care. I don't know why I care. Probably just the instincts that keep me alive. But if I really just passed away one day..._

 _Floated into the spirit world, alone, only to have my soul torn open by some monster I've never met..._

 _Will it really matter?  
_

 _Will I care?  
_

"No," Mousepaw mumbled. "It won't matter. I never accomplished anything. NightClan won't care either way."

 _But I do._

 _I do care._

 _Even though it doesn't make sense that I should. What do I have to go back to? Even if I make it to StarClan, what do I have to look forward to? Meeting the disapproving gaze of my mother all day? Living with spirits whom I've never known, for the rest of eternity?_

 _Even if I manage to get back to NightClan, my mission would be a failure... a complete failure. I would never be a full Watcher. No... knowing Silverstar, he wouldn't even let me live in the clan. He might exile me. Or kill me._

More unwanted waves of emotion rolled through her mind.

 _I'm really going to die. Probably in a matter of minutes._

 _Leopard isn't going to take any fox-dung excuses from me. Lightning won't convince her otherwise, either. He's the only one in this entire place who isn't directly under her command, and even that might be a lie._

 _My other self told me to be wary of him._

 _I should trust her._

 _How she got to me is irrelevant. What matters is her reliability._

 _She's the one who knows what's going on, anyway._

 _She's the one with all those qualities I never had._

 _Confidence, a sense of humor. She's respected and admired. Hardworking. Just because of a few less voices in her head._

 _It's not fair._

 _Think of all those other cats throughout NightClan history who might have been just like me. If they'd only seen what they could have been... someone along the path probably could have thought of a solution. Then I wouldn't be here right now._

 _I wouldn't be in the dark, waiting for my execution._

 _Those cats in the future, who might end up just like me... they would lead happier lives. So many terrible things would have been avoided._

Searing, burning hatred.

 _Whoever it was that let the voices in, it was all their fault. It doesn't matter why they did it. What ended up happening from it... unforgivable._

 _It ruined lives._

 _It ruined my life._

It felt like there were sobs growing within her throat, but couldn't be released for some reason.

Moments later, Mousepaw was curling up against the wall of the dark, silent cave, choking while laughing and nearly in hysterics for some inane reason that escaped her.

Her unsheathed claws curled in as far as they would go, leaving bloody imprints on her pads.

* * *

But Leopard didn't come for her that night.

Slowly, as the darkness closed its talons around her, she let it ease over her as she slid further into fevered dreams.

 _It doesn't matter how complicated these thought processes get._

 _I can keep pretending I care about those things beyond my tiny, tiny world, but..._

 _It all just roots from one desire._

 _I..._

 _I don't want to die._


	9. -fight or flight-

**.**

Rightmost cave in the tunnels

 **.**

Chapter Nine

 **.**

* * *

Hours later, the next arrival in the cave was finally announced by soft footsteps.

Mousepaw hardly heard it, let alone responded to it. She didn't feel like getting up to see who it was, and somehow, she knew who it had to be. _This is it,_ she thought. _This is the end. Say goodbye to the world. The last chance you'll ever get to._

But the head that peered through the cracks between the boulder and the wall wasn't Leopard's. It was black and white instead of dappled ginger.

Brief surges of hope swelled in her chest, and Mousepaw silently debated with herself on whether she should say anything. In the end, she managed to fight back down those feelings of assurance and instead pretended she hadn't seen anything. _He's probably brought Leopard along with him anyway._

"Mousepaw!" Lightning whispered.

Slowly, she raised her head just enough that she was able to glare at him. Staring at the faint light coming from outside, though, however dim, was painful to look at, and she quickly averted her gaze again. "I don't want to talk to you."

"That's fine. I didn't come to talk." Lightning's tone was lighthearted, but Mousepaw suspected that wasn't really the case. "I came to free you."

"Go free yourself," Mousepaw snarled. "Stop risking your life for me." She turned over in her spot, fixing her gaze on the stone wall, away from the pile of corpses. "Enough things are all my fault already. Leopard's going to find out about this and end both of us. I would have figured something out myself."

 _That's not true, but..._

Several long, awkward moments of silence passed before Lightning finally spoke. "I've measured the space between that boulder and the wall. There's enough room for you to squeeze through." He sounded a bit amused. "Do you really not know how to use your whiskers for this?"

"I just needed some time to think," Mousepaw snapped, getting to her paws. Sure enough, as she looked closer, she realized that the space was just large enough for someone her size to fit through. "Besides, I wasn't sure if there were guards outside."

"Right." Lightning snorted. "I'm sure you'd figure that out by sitting in the corner. But, yes, there are, in fact, guards. Don't worry, I temporarily lured away all of them, including Leopard, with nonexistent magic rabbits."

" _What?_ "

"That's the reason Leopard didn't come last night," he said. "It's morning outside now. Come on, before they come back."

"If you had just attacked her while she was bashing my head against the wall," Mousepaw growled, "none of this would have happened anyway."

"Do you think charging in while four guards were on my heels would have done any good?" Lightning challenged. "It would have just made them suspicious of me and make helping you later on harder." He flicked his tail over his shoulder. "So are you coming or not?"

Mousepaw glared at him as hard as she could, but grudgingly turned around anyway and padded over to the crack. Lowering her head, she realized that, indeed, the width of it almost fit the length of her whiskers. "Get out of the way," she huffed, before shifting her position and squeezing through as hard as she could.

For a moment, sharp edges in the stone jabbed painfully on both her shoulders, but she turned a little to the side and managed to wriggle through. Immediately, a strong, rancid scent bathed her muzzle, and Mousepaw's head shot up quickly in near-panic.

It was just the vixen, though, whom she had all but forgotten about. Her head was tilted to the side, with ears pricked as usual, and a curious gleam settled in her eyes. Mousepaw's bad mood was lifted a bit, although she made sure to not let her hopes up, and she flicked her tail in greeting. "She seems to like us."

"No, me," Lightning said, peering through the crack again.

His face suddenly darkened as he squinted into a corner. "I assume those bodies are of your two clanmates."

Mousepaw scowled, pushing past the vixen and glancing around the cavern. The pool which the shadow-spirits had dropped her into was still there, clear and faintly shining as always, along with the exit tunnel on the other side. "I... don't want to talk about them." The thought that their souls might be getting devoured by some malicious spirit right now still sickened her.

"That's fine by me." Lightning shrugged, turning back to her. The vixen was now pacing beside him impatiently, as if sensing an unseen danger. "That means we should probably get moving. I don't know when Leopard's going to come back."

The moment after he finished his sentence, they heard soft footsteps echoing off the exit tunnel walls.

Mousepaw cursed under her breath, glancing around wildly. "I could have sworn you practically summoned her out of nowhere," she hissed. "Should I go back into that cave?"

"No!" Lightning said quickly, keeping an eye fixed on the exit tunnel. "She's probably coming to kill you right now. Go hide somewhere else!"

"There are only so many caves in these StarClan-cursed tunnels, Lightning," Mousepaw growled. Her paws were shaking so hard that she felt like falling over, but she tried to put on a fierce expression. "I want to just fight and get it over with. Besides, you've said it yourself. They're not actual cats. They can't be that hard to fight, right?"

"No! There's no use in fighting! Just hide!" Lightning exploded, shoving Mousepaw into the corner. "I can try to distract her, and maybe... maybe..."

Right at that moment, an imposing shadow fell over the entrance and Leopard stepped out, smiling grimly as she scanned the cavern.

Her gaze swept over in Lightning's direction, and Mousepaw's heart stopped for a terrifying moment, but then she realized that all her attention was fixed on the tom and not her. Slowly, as she watched, Leopard's expression twisted into one of furious, murderous rage, and she took a single step forward ominously. "You!" she hissed.

Lightning fidgeted nervously in his spot, clearly trying hard not to look over at Mousepaw and give away her position. "I really thought—"

"Liar!" Leopard screeched. "There was no gray hare out for our blood as you described! It must have all been a trick!" She glared at him even harder, then took several more steps toward him. "I allow you to live here though you are not one of us, but now I am forced to question your loyalty to our master."

Before Lightning could respond, the vixen pointed her muzzle toward Mousepaw and barked.

Leopard frowned, then glanced in her direction.

Mousepaw felt the blood in her veins slowly turning to ice.

"I see," Leopard said slowly. She was fixing her with a thoughtful expression, as if trying to put it all together. "So. Lightning. Your intent was to distract me and my followers so that you could free that little she-cat?"

She tossed her head back and chuckled, then began padding toward Mousepaw slowly. "Thank you," she purred, flicking her tail over the vixen's ears as she passed by. "Osprey must have been able to influence you at least somewhat. I knew you were going to be useful to me some day."

In that moment, Mousepaw felt like clawing that neutral expression off the vixen's face. _Smug fox-heart._

Leopard halted in front of the apprentice, narrowing her eyes and slowly sliding out her claws, and then several things happened at once.

In a blur of russet and white, the vixen approached Leopard from behind and was upon her in a matter of heartbeats. Mousepaw only had a single, satisfying glimpse of her shocked expression before she went down. That victory was short-lived, however; behind Leopard, in the exit tunnel entrance, three more of her followers were already filing in.

Before Mousepaw knew what was happening, Lightning hauled her to her paws rather roughly and pushed her off to the side. "I'll distract them," he hissed. "Just try to stay out of the way. Then as soon as the tunnel's clear, run through and don't look back. The both of us will be right behind you."

"I don't believe that, and I'm not mouse-brained, either. I'll fight."

Lightning gazed into her eyes for a moment, then pushed her forward. "Then fight. See what good it does you."

Relieved, Mousepaw finally unsheathed her claws just as the first cat leaped toward her, a brown tabby tom. He almost caught her by surprise, but she rolled aside at the last moment and managed to rake her claws alongside his flank. Meanwhile, Lightning had found a victim of his own, a large gray she-cat. In seconds, though, he had already pinned her to the ground, keeping her there even as she struggled.

Mousepaw whirled around, ready for her next strike, but then noticed that there were no visible wounds on the tabby tom's flank.

 _Oh._

Her heart sank.

 _I'm an idiot._

 _They're not real cats, after all... so why should they bleed just like us?_

Glancing frantically behind her, Mousepaw realized that the third and last cat had managed to sneak up on the vixen while she was distracted. The fox may have been a good fighter, but she couldn't hold off two cats forever. _Besides, they have even more reinforcements,_ she thought in despair.

Mousepaw turned back to the tabby tom, who was studying her movements carefully. Just as he took a step forward, she took one back hurriedly in response. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Leopard and her other follower closing in on the vixen, pushing her in the same direction as Mousepaw.

The middle tunnel in the set.

The one that led to the glowing stone.

Despite herself, Mousepaw began taking more and more steps back, unwilling to turn around in case of a sudden attack. Soon, she could feel warm heat prickling at the fur on her neck, and she wondered her other self would take her out of time again. _Probably not. It must take a lot of energy just to do it once, and besides, she can't keep bailing me out anyway..._

"Mousepaw!" Lightning yelled, rising from his position on top of the white she-cat. His expression was desperate as he caught her gaze. "Listen to me! There's one possible way you can escape. Just keep going until those cats chasing you are in range of the heat from the orb, and then... well..."

She retreated another several paces.

By now, there were only a few tail-lengths between her and the stone. The vixen was being herded into the same corner that she was, and their pursuers were standing right in front of them. Mousepaw risked a glance at the stone, but nothing had changed. "Just tell me what's supposed to happen!" she yelled.

"You won't believe me until you see it!" Lightning yelled back. "Please, just... get as many of them as you can gathered in a circle around the orb! It has to happen!"

Mousepaw took her last step back, her heart trying to hammer its way out of her chest. The heat was no longer welcoming. Instead, she could have almost sworn her pelt was already on fire, getting seared off by the moment. "But... I..." she stammered. "Nothing's..."

Then she saw it.

It seemed like smoke at first—except as far as she knew, smoke didn't gather in a circle. The more Mousepaw stared, the more its shape began to shift into a distinct form. Moments later, she wasn't looking at a circle of smoke anymore.

It was a perfectly structured circle, just the right size for someone to walk through, and when she looked into it, she didn't see the wall behind it.

Mousepaw didn't have time to ask any more questions. She just knew what she had to do. Padding over to the portal, she quickly beckoned the vixen toward her and then turned to head through.

"Hold on!"

She hesitated.

Then she turned back around.

Lightning's voice was getting drowned out. The portal seemed be alive somehow, whispering, chanting, tugging at pieces of her consciousness. "One last thing!" he yelled. "Once in the spirit world, you... you might meet the tom I'm supposed to work for. He goes by Frostfall. He's..." He hesitated. "He's the one who knows all about the voices you have. Um, specializes in them. If you see him..."

He took a deep breath. "Don't tell him anything about me."

Mousepaw wanted to ask more, but she didn't get a chance to. Their pursuers were practically upon them, and she retreated into the portal with the vixen, what felt like cold, clingy mist surrounding them. "I won't!" she promised, hoping he could hear her.

Then she thought over his words again, and nearly jumped out of her pelt. Someone who 'specialized' in the voices she had?

Thinking back to her other self's words, Mousepaw had a feeling who this Frostfall had to be. With a chill, she realized that, given the chance, she really would murder him. _If you so want,_ she thought fiercely. _If you want me to kill him bad enough to come to me yourself... then I will._

Leopard hissed with frustration, clearing the distance between them in two agile bounds. By the time she finally pounced, though, coming straight at them with bloodstained claws, it was already too late.

Mist covered Mousepaw's vision, mist seeped into their fur, and then they were gone.

She wasn't worried, though.

 _I have a mission now._

 _I know what I have to do._

* * *

 **A . A**

 **\\-.-/**

 **/...\**

* * *

 _I know what I have to do._

 _Staying out of my clan's clutches is easy enough. I can go anywhere in the world. But escaping from camp... that was much harder._

 _There were guards everywhere._

 _Now that I'm free, though... I can't quite believe it. Those moons being trapped in SnowClan, being monitored by prying eyes every moment of the day, all because I have these stupid prophetic abilities or whatever._

 _'Medicine cat abilities', they called them._

 _Huh. Don't know why that's bad._

 _But whatever it is, they were willing to kill me for it if I stepped out of line._

 _Now, though, I don't have to follow their rules anymore. I can run away, make a new life, and forget my past one forever._

* * *

 ** _"Who are you, kit?"_**

* * *

 _"Nothing to do with you."_

* * *

 _ **"Really. You must come from that insidious group of cats that call themselves civilized. SnowClan, I believe."**_

* * *

 _"I can't argue with that._

 _I don't care who you are either, as long as you don't bother me. I'm not part of SnowClan anymore."_

* * *

 ** _"We are, in fact, what your clanmates would call 'rogues'."_**

* * *

 _"..._

 _I'm sorry, but I do believe I need to be going."_

* * *

 ** _"So you're sure you won't be needing help from us?_**

 ** _Well, before you leave, I have some advice for you."_**

* * *

 _"Hurry up. Now."_

* * *

 ** _"Hush, little child._**

 ** _If you just learn to read between the lines..._**

 ** _...you'll discover that there is much more to the world than what you see._**

 ** _Heheheh._**

 ** _Don't you know?_**

 ** _There are_**

 ** _s-e-c-r-e-t-s_**

 ** _e_**

 ** _v_**

 ** _e_**

 ** _r_**

 ** _y_**

 ** _w_**

 ** _h_**

 ** _e_**

 ** _r_**

 ** _e_**

* * *

 **End of Part 1**

* * *

 **(No, not the end of the fanfic.)**

 **Review!**

 **Please and thank you!**


	10. -misjudgement in several senses-

**Part Two**

 **Souls for a Secret**

* * *

 **.**

Path to the judgement hall

 **.**

Chapter Ten

 **.**

* * *

For a brief, exhilarating moment, Mousepaw thought she was floating in the air.

Then suddenly, the ground slammed up toward her and the next thing she knew, she was sent reeling. Mist danced in her field of vision, swirling over her paws and carefully concealing the space around her. Before Mousepaw could catch her balance, she stumbled against a wall of thick russet fur.

The vixen was looking down her nose at her as she scrambled back onto her paws. She had clearly stayed on her feet the entire time, and was now turning around with her ears twitching. Her bushy tail was hovering in the air, as if waiting for something to happen.

Meanwhile, Mousepaw was blinking, scanning her new surroundings warily. She couldn't make out much through the thick mist, but she could tell that they were on some sort of marshy terrain, tall-growing reeds poking up through the mud. _This isn't how I thought the spirit world would be._

 _Where is everyone?_

Shivers ran up her spine, and her heart began beating faster. Padding up to the vixen's side, Mousepaw squinted and tried to make out the path ahead. Only more swampland showed through the mist, though, and there appeared to be no end in sight. "Come on," she muttered, striding forward with exaggerated steps to avoid getting her ankles wet.

The vixen gazed back at her calmly, her tail-tip now flicking impatiently from side to side. There was clear intelligence showing through her sharp amber eyes, but Mousepaw realized uneasily that she couldn't gauge her emotions at all. _I can't tell what she's feeling at all, or what she thinks of me._

 _Hopefully she doesn't see me as a juicy piece of prey, at least for a while longer._

"Come on, girl," Mousepaw said, tipping her head toward the vixen and trying to sound confident. "Let's go. This marsh can't go on forever." Suddenly remembering that they had been pursued just moments before, she added, "Besides, Leopard's cats might follow us here. I don't want to risk anything."

She felt a bit ridiculous talking to someone who obviously didn't speak her language, but giving a voice to her thoughts made her feel a bit better, as if it helped to solidify them. But whether the vixen could understand her or not, it definitely seemed to be listening intently. _How can that be?_

Mousepaw turned back toward her companion, narrowing her eyes as if studying her. "I should have something to call you," she pondered out loud. "I'm sure you have a name, right?"

The vixen stared at her for a moment, as if trying to figure out what she was saying, then tipped her head thoughtfully and bared her curved fangs. Frowning, Mousepaw guessed, "Fang, maybe?"

Fang's gaze was still trained on her.

"Tooth?"

Letting out a frustrated snarl, Fang pointed her muzzle toward the sky, which Mousepaw just noticed for the first time. It seemed a paler shade of blue than in the real world, and with mist covering large portions of it.

"Sky? I give up."

It didn't matter whether the name was correct or not or even close; Fang had already lost interest and was now padding away into the mist. Mousepaw hurried to catch up with her, her paws making squelching sounds in the mud. "Hold on!"

They continued in this fashion for a long time, and after only a while, no part of Mousepaw's lower leg was exempt from the filthy water. She winced, raising her tail and trying to protect it from the same fate. Being wet had never appealed to her before, and this experience wasn't changing her mind any. Trying to take her thoughts off her current situation, her mind began to wander.

 _She looks like she knows what she's doing, unlike me,_ Mousepaw reflected, studying Fang as she followed close behind. _She doesn't look traumatized or anything, as I would if I spent time being possessed by some dead cat. Osprey probably made her capture Finchheart and Hazellight... maybe that's why I could barely make out her scent that night._

 _Speaking of which..._ She looked up uneasily. _How do I know for certain whose side she's truly on?_

Then, as if trying to shake off her suspicions, she thought, _Fang's helped me plenty of times, though, even when I was doubting her. Maybe I'm just worrying about nothing._

Lifting her chin and ignoring the reed grasses brushing her neck, she squinted into the distance.

 _Maybe we're going in the wrong direction entirely._ Despair flooded through her from ears to tail. _I really don't want to wander here forever, and if we do meet someone..._

 _There's no telling what they'll do._

 _Neither of us belong in this place._

Just as panic began to settle in, she heard a faint telltale voice.

Mousepaw froze, silently pricking her ears. Fang paused beside her as well, as if sensing what was going on. The voice was still some distance away, whoever it belonged to, but at least they knew now that they weren't alone—for better or for worse. Taking a few cautious steps forward, Mousepaw tried to make out as many words as she could.

"But I'm completely innocent!" a shrill female voice cut through the heavy quiet in the air. "Punish my brother instead. He killed, like, ten cats. Or fourteen. Or twenty-nine."

Mousepaw took the moment of silence that followed to move even closer, until she could see the two transparent figures that stood several fox-lengths away. Crouching down behind a clump of reeds, she noted that they were of a she-cat and a tom, brown and orange respectively. _Spirits,_ she guessed. _Probably getting judged right at the moment._

For a moment, she couldn't see anyone else, but then she realized that parts of the air around them shimmered and appeared to move. If she stared hard enough, she could just barely make out the outlines of several other spirits. _They probably faded like that over time. I wonder when they'll disappear altogether._

The tom that stood beside the first she-cat looked uneasy at that proclamation, but said anyway, "I mean, it wasn't murder, Hawkie. They made me do it, so it wasn't really my fault." Mousepaw could see the doubt in his own face, though, even as he said the words. "It was just protocol."

"StarClan is deeply sorry, but I am afraid we cannot allow murderers into our ranks," the closest cat to them said smoothly, her pelt too faded to make out. "Now as for you, Hawk Chaser, since you are not part of the clans and you have committed your share of sins as well, please make your way to the border as soon as possible."

She flicked her tail over to a continuation of the current path Mousepaw was on.

Hawk Chaser's eyes grew wide, and she looked up at the faded spirit with a pleading expression. "But... but I..."

"Heartbreaker," the judge began, ignoring Hawk Chaser and turning to look at the orange tom instead.

Her tone took on a darker edge, regarding him with cold contempt. "Unfortunately, you are responsible for far too many crimes for it to be acceptable. Please head over that way to the right immediately." She tilted her muzzle toward a path to the side, covered by overgrown, dead-looking plants that looked almost like snares in a trap.

Mousepaw half expected the tom, whoever he was, to argue or at least protest in some other way. He didn't. Heartbreaker simply nodded solemnly and turned toward the mentioned path obediently, which Mousepaw could only assume led to the Dark Forest. Something about this was suspicious, but she couldn't quite put a paw on what exactly it was.

She craned her neck to see the figures better, and then she noticed that Heartbreaker was staring at her.

Mousepaw's breath caught in her throat. For a brief, hopeful moment, she prayed desperately that he hadn't actually seen her and was just looking in her general direction. But then he narrowed his turquoise eyes at her, and all of it came shattering down.

The world spun for a few moments...

...and then Heartbreaker turned back around, as if pretending he hadn't seen her. But it was already too late. The faded she-cat from before had been following his gaze, and now turned toward Mousepaw as well. "Is someone there?" she called.

 _Don't move, don't move, don't move..._

It was no use. Her paws shook too much, and she was painfully aware of how only half her face was concealed behind the reeds. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of waiting, the spirit commented with a hint of dry humor in her tone, "I suppose I should let you know that I can see you."

Face burning in embarrassment, Mousepaw stepped out from behind her hiding place reluctantly. "Oh. Sorry."

She glanced over her shoulder, as if checking that Fang was there, then realized that she was still crouched on the ground, somehow being better at hiding even though her pelt stood out against the reeds like complementary colors. Quickly averting her gaze back to the she-cat, Mousepaw noticed that she hadn't seemed to notice the vixen at all.

 _That's good. In case I need the element of surprise to escape..._

"I may be mistaken, but I do not believe that we have ever met before," the spirit continued, clearing her throat. "I also assume that you are not one of the recently deceased, as you do not appear to be a spirit at all. Please state your name and any business you may have here."

"I'm... Mousepaw." She had always felt awkward when introducing herself, but this time the feeling was amplified, times ten. "I didn't really mean to come here. It's a bit of a long story."

For the first time, the faded she-cat's tight expression loosened and she let out a laugh. "No living cat ever comes here on accident."

"I c-can't really explain right now," Mousepaw stuttered, trying to suppress a growing feeling of panic. _What am I supposed to say? What if she insists on asking me? How much should I tell her? Should I lie? What if I can't think of anything?_ "I-I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

She backpedaled several paces and nearly tripped over Fang. She turned her glowering eyes up at Mousepaw, but didn't make any other movement.

The spirit she-cat scowled. "In that case, I see no reason why you should be here." Turning back to the orange tom, she commanded in an even harsher tone, "Heartbreaker, this is no time to stand still. Make your last farewells to your sister and head on over."

Despite herself, Mousepaw couldn't stop herself from asking. "I'm sorry, but... why is your name Heartbreaker?"

"The River Runners name kits based on the rank that they are destined for," he replied simply, lifting his head and trying to look proud but evidently failing. "For example, Hawkie—I mean, Hawk Chaser here was named that way because it was always determined that she was meant to be a Hunter."

Mousepaw stared at him in confusion. "So they knew how many ex-mates you were going to have from birth?"

"No, no!" Heartbreaker chuckled humorlessly for a moment, then suddenly stopped abruptly. "I... it's not like that. The name Heartbreaker is more literal than that." He shuffled his paws uneasily. "I mean, as you may have guessed... I sort of kill for a living. It's just like I said, protocol for those who fail the Trial."

"So there are constant murders in your River Runners?"

"I mean, like, it doesn't happen that often..." Heartbreaker struggled to explain. "Most students manage to cross the river. Besides, there are always new kits coming, so, I mean..."

Mousepaw looked beyond horrified. "That's not the point!"

"See?" Hawk Chaser shrieked, who was still standing beside her brother. "It's... it's..." She paused for a moment, as if thinking for the right word, and then screamed, "Immoral! Plus a bunch of the dead, angry spirits you killed will probably come back to hurt us or murder us in our sleep or eat us or something."

"Now, let's speed this up, shall we?" a second faded spirit interrupted, a tom by the sound of his voice. "I would hate to see anyone getting eaten here. Please make your way over to your respective destinations."

Hawk Chaser's ears were flattened against her head, and she was crouched on the ground as if trying to make herself appear as small as possible. "But what if there just happen to be some vengeful spirits wandering around?"

Mousepaw could tell that the spirit tom was trying hard to contain his anger. "There are no vengeful spirits anywhere near here, dear, unless you keep dawdling and one of us loses our patience."

"Is that a _threat?_ "

"Why, yes. Thank you for asking. Now hurry up."

"But the spirits—"

"No more!" the faded tom growled. "Unless you can show me a 'vengeful spirit' right now, I will have to forcibly relocate you."

"Um, right there," Heartbreaker ventured, flicking his tail over his shoulder.

Mousepaw spun around, accidentally stepping on one of Fang's paws.

Standing right in front of them, ten of them at least, more than Mousepaw thought existed in the whole camp, were an entire row of Leopard's cats. Their fangs were bared in snarls, with all of their claws unsheathed and ready for battle. Even though she knew they weren't really spirits, their pale complexion and dark outline did make them seem like one.

They didn't look particularly happy, either.

Hawk Chaser screamed, curling herself into a whimpering ball on the spot. The first faded spirit's eyes were wide open in shock for a moment, then narrowed and turned themselves accusingly toward Mousepaw. "Does this have anything to do with you?" she snarled.

"Hold on, Hawkie," Heartbreaker said quickly. "They don't look anything like the cats I—"

In the next few moments, several things happened at once, and chaos descended.

Leopard's cats, clearly tired of waiting, bounded forward the last few paces and pounced, claws gleaming in the dim light. Right at the same time, the spirit she-cat sprang upon Mousepaw as well, but before she could even think of dodging, Fang shot out from her hiding place and barreled over her attacker with blinding speed.

Heartbreaker was standing at the back of the din, meanwhile, eyeing the fight cautiously and slowly backing out bit by bit. Mousepaw soon managed to join him, ducking to avoid a swipe to her throat along the way and almost getting pinned under a large tortoiseshell. "Fang! Let's get out of here!" she yelled.

"There doesn't seem to be anywhere we can go," Heartbreaker interrupted. "I'm not going to that darker path over there, and the middle one seems a bit sinister."

"It is," Mousepaw promised, as Fang finally struggled her way out of the commotion. "Believe me, it is. There's no way we can get into the StarClan one either, since it's so heavily guarded. Besides, I'm the one those cats are after. I mean, I don't want to lead them right in there..."

But looking back at the two spirits who had judged Hawk Chaser and Heartbreaker, something about their indifference made her blood boil. Mousepaw hesitated. _Can I go against everything NightClan has ever taught me about respecting our ancestors?_

Then she knew the answer.

"Come on," she said, padding forward. _Besides,_ _Frostfall might be somewhere in there._ "Let's go see what we can do."

* * *

 **I'm sure there are questions that you have right now. They'll be explained in the next chapter.**

 **~ Taking a break from this fanfic for a while (mostly because I've been a bit behind on chapters)**


	11. -stolen what?-

**.**

Entrance to StarClan

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Chapter Eleven

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* * *

It wasn't easy, to say the least.

Most of the guards around the StarClan entrance path had soon noticed the group approaching and were now standing with their hackles raised and claws unsheathed. Mousepaw wondered for a moment whether they would just pass through her or not, and decided that she didn't want to find out. _Maybe, in the middle of all this chaos, if we can just get away unseen..._

"Halt!" two of the closest guards commanded as one. They were both toms, a bit less faded although with their pelt color still hard to see, and littermates by the similar way they held themselves. The moment after they finished their statement, they glanced at each other, seemingly embarrassed.

Mousepaw took a deep breath, and risked a glimpse over her shoulder. She didn't want Heartbreaker, whoever he really was, to be following her, especially if he had really killed as many cats as his sister had claimed. But she had a feeling that she didn't really have a choice, and anyway, she could sort out all that later.

"May we pass through and seek refuge in StarClan for a while, until things calm down, and then we can... talk about all this?" she asked through gritted teeth. "I'm afraid there are quite a few individuals that have a rather murder-prone opinion of me right now."

She didn't need a reply to know what they thought. Together, with a grimace, they stepped back and raised a paw, ready to strike. Mousepaw wasn't surprised, though, and she was prepared. Flicking her tail up to signal to her companions, she took a sudden step to the left and then leaped toward them in the opposite direction.

One of them yowled and fell back, startled, but the other sliced his claws through the air and connected with fur.

Mousepaw winced as a new cut opened in her flank, but landed on all four paws and whipped around to glance at her companions. Fang had took this moment of distraction to slip past the guards as well, but Heartbreaker was having a bit more trouble. Mousepaw didn't care, though, and was secretly a bit relieved.

"Come on," she said nervously. "Leopard's cats have started coming after me, and they don't look happy."

Turning back to the next guard, she said urgently, "Please, someone's about to _kill_ us. I would help, but I can't fight at all, and... if I could hide somewhere, they would probably get confused, and then you can..."

This spirit was rather small, about the size of an apprentice, and as soon as she realized Mousepaw was talking to her, she flinched back and disappeared among the other cats.

Mousepaw exchanged glances with Fang, took one look over her shoulder, and quickly continued on.

Some of the other guards they soon encountered glared at them and attempted to step in their way, but others looked a bit more nervous. One even pushed her companion back to allow the two entry. For some reason, a few of them were whispering among themselves and kept flicking their tails in her direction, as if her arrival had been expected.

Or was that fear?

"It has to be her," someone spat with unconcealed hatred. "That's what the omen meant. _She_ must have done it."

Mousepaw felt a bit uncomfortable at this attention, but before she could change her mind, she looked up and realized that she was already halfway there.

Somewhere along the winding path, the terrain had completely changed. Now, instead of reeds and a marsh-like environment, fresh green grasses poked out of the rich earth, and she could even see a grove of trees in the distance. Hearing a sudden yelp behind her, though, Mousepaw glanced over her shoulder with a feeling of dread.

Two of Leopard's followers, a tom and a she-cat, were still pursuing them nimbly, calmly stepping out of the range of guards who tried to stop them. Mousepaw cursed under her breath, but if she wanted to live, there was really nothing she could do now except keep going. Maybe she could lose them in StarClan somehow, and... then what?

Leave the rest of the spirits to deal with entities that couldn't even, as far as Mousepaw knew, be injured?

Something about that just sounded wrong, and she didn't want to be responsible for anyone's death, indirectly or not. Truth be told, Mousepaw hadn't really thought over this plan much. She just wanted to go somewhere where she could hopefully hide out, and StarClan sounded much better than the alternatives.

 _So you're just selfish..._

There wasn't time now to think over the consequences of her choice, however. Mousepaw had to move, before anyone caught her.

Turning her attention back to the path, she dashed along it once more, until it disappeared abruptly and was replaced by fresh grass. Before her, an oak forest stretched to the right, while open moor spread out to the left. Looking up at the sky, Mousepaw could see a curious change in color, at approximately where the path ended and the grass began. On one side, it was an overcast gray, while on the other, it was clear, and a calming light blue.

 _I wonder what the Dark Forest sky looks like. It probably seems like nighttime all the time in there._

"Hold on!" Heartbreaker yelled from behind her, his voice tinged with panic. "I—I—"

Mousepaw turned around. Even though he had now managed to get past most of the guards, he was still a dangerously close distance away from their pursuers, and was now attempting to catch up to them. "Please, can I come with you two?" he asked. "I promise I won't, like, murder anyone in their sleep or anything."

"Let's see about that later."

Right as he was about to reply, though, the she-cat with the invisible neck suddenly sprang forward and brought her paw down on his tail. Heartbreaker whipped around with a hiss of pain, and swung back at her, but she simply ducked and rose up on her hind legs, giving him a cuff on the ears before backing away.

Mousepaw rushed forward to help, but Heartbreaker apparently didn't want it. Snarling in fury, he unsheathed his claws and slashed at the she-cat before turning over his paw to hook at her chin, but everything only seemed to bounce off her smooth fur as she simply stepped aside.

"Don't bother!" Mousepaw yelled, willing him to listen to her. "They're not actual cats, so attacks won't work!"

Heartbreaker was too busy trying to dodge an onslaught of sudden blows to reply for a few moments. In the end, Mousepaw had to practically drag him away, as Fang glanced between them two incredulously. "Come on," she hissed in exasperation.

Moments later, they were all sprinting down the path toward the stretch of forest, as frustrated yowls sounded behind them. Tall grasses brushed past their legs, and invisible dips in the ground occasionally tripped them up, but the next thing they knew, they were nearing the edge of the trees. Skidding to a stop, Mousepaw took the opportunity to take several deep breaths.

To be honest, she hadn't really thought this far ahead in her plan. She hadn't even expected to make it this far.

Back at the judgement area, all she had really thought about was getting as far away from Leopard's cats as possible. Lifting her chin, she felt the breeze rush past her ears as her companions sidled up beside her.

"I can't believe we're actually here," she said. "Those guards hardly even tried to stop us, except for those first two. That's strange."

Heartbreaker shrugged, and Mousepaw was reminded unpleasantly yet again that a former murderer was there. Feeling uncomfortable, she shifted away a few paces. "Maybe they had better things to do," he said. "Plus, we're not actually in StarClan right now. It's still up ahead."

Mousepaw was about to reply, when she suddenly caught what sounded like a voice somewhere beyond. Her ears perked up, she tilted her head and motioned for Heartbreaker to be silent. If she concentrated on that voice again, she could start to make out another one, which seemed to be in a rather heated conversation with the first.

Lowering her body and creeping forward slowly, Mousepaw ducked down behind a nearby bush and listened.

"That's not possible, Heatherstorm!" a she-cat's voice hissed. Mousepaw imagined bristling fur, raised hackles, and flattened-back ears. Maybe it was just her, but she could also seem to detect some panic in her tone. "How did you manage to lose that Scorchwing energy, when it wasn't even contained in a vessel? Someone had to be actually holding it!"

There was a heavy pause between them. Then a tom that Mousepaw assumed to be Heatherstorm replied nervously, "Er, well, Daisyspots was doing her best, you see, but after a while, she got a bit tired and fell asleep. Besides, we're making progress on finding it. No worries. Go assure Dawnstar that everything will end up fine."

"I know you StarClan don't know anything," the she-cat sneered, with a hysterical edge to her voice now. "Since when have you ever gave us a better answer than 'everything will be fine'? _Hah,_ all those omens and you're still as clueless as we are."

"Dewheart, please—"

 _"Oh,_ look, it's a leaf falling. It must symbolize ThunderClan, and its eventual dramatic fall to the darkness. But wait! The ferns cushioned its fall! Now the queens are all scrambling to name their kits Fernkit and Grasskit and Leafkit and Frondkit and—"

"Dewheart!" Heatherstorm exclaimed, sighing. "None of us do that. Our omen is real, I can assure you of that."

"Gray, ominous streaks of color slicing through a lake, or so you say?" Dewheart shot back. "That's hardly any better than my leaf example. I tell you, it was just some clouds that happened to pass by overhead."

"Dewheart, please." Sounding exasperated, Heatherstorm paused for a moment. "Being ThunderClan's medicine cat means you have to listen to us."

Mousepaw, intrigued, tried to crawl even closer, but suddenly, shadows darkened the forest floor in front of her and she whipped around.

Her heart lurched into her throat. Five large StarClan spirits, each looking more dangerous than the next, surrounded her in a semicircle. Somehow, she hadn't noticed them coming up behind her. They didn't look too happy, either.

"Explain," the rightmost one growled, a tom who looked solid enough to still be one of the freshly deceased.

Thinking back to the throng of guards who watched her go past, and the accusation that came from one of them, Mousepaw managed to put things together at the last moment. Feeling a stab of panic, she said hurriedly, "It wasn't me."


	12. -below dark waters-

**Thanks for all the favs and follows**

 **I legit thought it was a glitch lol**

 **By the way, I finally turned thirteen a few days ago! Now I'm actually supposed to be on this site. Not that anyone actually follows that piece of the guideline**

* * *

 **.**

End of entrance to StarClan

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Chapter Twelve

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* * *

Long story short, they didn't believe her.

"I know you must have had _something_ to do with it," he growled. "No living cat's ever made it here before, and at a rather convenient timing, too. If you really have it, then..." Unexplained flickers of fear passed over his face for a moment before it disappeared. Leaning in closer menacingly, he hissed, "The swath of gray that covered the lake during the omen is the exact shade of your fur. _Explain._ "

 _Exactly like mine?_ Mousepaw's head spun. She knew it wasn't actually her—it couldn't be her—but that rang an alarm bell inside her mind.

 _Exactly like me..._

Even if the omen turned out to be nothing more than wishful thinking, at least it gave her some new suspicions—and an idea.

"Look, I don't know what's happening here," Mousepaw hissed. "Something's missing, I'm guessing? Something important, and it was stolen?" Seeing no change in expression on the hostile faces of the cats that surrounded her, she quickly went on. "I promise I didn't know anything about this before now. But I can at least prove that I had no part in this."

" _How._ "

Mousepaw swallowed a lump in her throat. From her personal experience, it was never a good thing when someone didn't bother anymore to make a question sound like a question. "I—I don't know. I really don't know. I just came into here. It's sort of a long story. Look, those cats that were chasing me, they can tell you all about it."

He scowled, as if reminded unpleasantly of something. "So you _were_ the one they were after." Thrusting his muzzle into her face, he snarled, "Let me put it this way: cats were _injured._ There's utter _chaos_ out there. Some of your pursuers managed to get pinned, but they're just staring at us blankly when we ask them simple questions. There's absolutely no one here to cover for you. _Explain_ already."

By this time, some of the original voices Mousepaw had heard—Heatherstorm and Dewheart, plus some other cats she didn't recognize—had paused their conversation and were now making their way over curiously. One by one, they appeared from behind the trees and came into view, staring at the commotion.

"I've already told you!" Mousepaw yelled, taking a step back. "I came here through some sort of portal because I _had_ to—they were after me even then. They must have followed me all the way here. I promise I never had anything to do with whatever Scorchwing energy is."

Her eyes trailing off to gaze at the newly arrived, she changed the subject and said, "Besides, there are other living cats there. Like... Dewheart." Mousepaw flicked her tail toward a lean blue-gray she-cat, who was looking rather cynical. "No need to—"

"How _dare_ you accuse ThunderClan's medicine cat of theft?" the tom interrupted angrily, cuffing her over the ears, hard. "She was merely sharing dreams with her ancestors! The sheer _nerve_ of you!"

He was positively brimming with rage now, Mousepaw noted anxiously. "No decent clan cat would talk this way, or make friends with a _fox._ " Sneering, he turned his gaze toward Fang as the rest of the cats noticed her as well and instinctively recoiled. "I assume you must be a rogue, then."

"Of course I'm a clan cat!" Mousepaw hissed, not caring that her voice was sounding increasingly shrill. "I come from NightClan, _and_ I've never heard of ThunderClan before." Ignoring the shocked murmurs around her, she continued, "Doesn't Finchheart share dreams with you too? Isn't she _supposed_ to?

There was a long, awkward silence after that.

Then, quietly, the tom Mousepaw recognized as Heatherstorm stepped forward and said, "NightClan isn't a real clan, dear. They have no code. They're mere rogues that have attempted to adopt our way of life and expect StarClan to grant them permission to join our ranks."

Everything started to spin before her eyes.

"So you mean they—they—"

"Goldenstep, there is no need to be so hostile," Heatherstorm continued. Mousepaw hardly heard his words. "Someone her age, even coming from a pack of rogues, could not have attempted a theft on her own. The omen must have meant something else. Besides, it might not necessarily have meant fur color. The omens we receive... they're always more cryptic than this—"

"So what do you suggest we do?" Goldenstep challenged. "Leave a possible suspect to roam free?"

"Perhaps we should interrogate her further," Heatherstorm said lightly, clearly not registering the dangerous tone in Goldenstep's voice. "Let me take her somewhere more suitable for talking, and we'll see what we can get out of her."

Mousepaw was glad to have someone on her side, but his recent revelations still shocked her and a part of her didn't want to believe it. For some reason, though, she did. She believed it without a shadow of a doubt and she hated it. _It all makes sense now..._

"If you're still unclear, there's quite a commotion out there," Goldenstep growled. "I can't believe you would leave us at a time like this."

"Oh, I'm sure they can take care of it," Heatherstorm replied, waving his white tail in dismissal. "They always do. Come on," he said, gesturing for Mousepaw to follow. "Sometimes, I love to sit by the lake on the edge of the forest—yes, the same one in which I received the omen—and just relax. Being a StarClan spirit can be rather stressful, especially in times like these."

"But what about them?" Mousepaw protested, waving her tail toward Fang and Heartbreaker.

For the first time, Heatherstorm began to appear a bit disturbed. Frowning, he studied the two figures suspiciously, and she could almost see his claws sliding out halfway. "They can join them on their way out," he finally decided, nodding toward Goldenstep and the others. "I would rather this be a private conversation."

"Um, I know none of you asked for my opinion, but am I really supposed to just be obediently shepherded into that ominously dark-looking place?" Heartbreaker interrupted.

No one answered him. Her paws were twitching with impatience, though for what, she didn't know. Seeing that she had no choice, however, Mousepaw reluctantly began following after as the tom turned around and padded off into the forest.

She still glanced over her shoulder every once in a while, though, and by the time they were heading out of the range of sight, she caught one last glimpse of a grumbling Goldenstep flanking the rest of the StarClan spirits as they hurried out to the entrance. Heartbreaker was hesitantly trailing behind, with Fang even further back. Despite herself, she kept feeling persistent pricks of guilt even as she tried not thinking about it.

Even if no one ended up to be severely injured, the fact that she was the reason for all of this still hurt. _How long has it been since my life was almost normal?_ she wondered, absentmindedly tearing up bits of grass. _I can't really tell between night and day in here, but... I'm guessing around two or three days._

Only _two or three days? How was that possible?_

Forcing her mind back to the present, Mousepaw fixed her gaze once more upon the tom leading her through the forest, and squinted her eyes at him. _He doesn't seem that hostile or dangerous, although maybe that was just a guise. I still need to stay wary, though. I can't trust anyone in this place..._

Her thoughts beginning to wander, she took a good glance around the forest for the first time. From what she could see, this place was infinitely different than what she was used to back in NightClan. Somehow, every tree was filled with leaves, every shrub freshly green, and every new seedling shooting up healthily from the soil. _So now I know this place_ is _perfect after all,_ Mousepaw thought wistfully.

Moments later, Heatherstorm stopped abruptly in his tracks and she nearly crashed into him.

"Is this it?" she called.

Turning around to face her, he nodded and stepped aside for her to see. Before her, a few tail-lengths away, the trees parted away to either side as if giant claws had pried them apart; a beam of sunlight shone out from behind a patch of stray cirrus clouds, reflecting the sky against a small lake that stretched away beyond. Mousepaw sucked in a breath, and then immediately felt embarrassed for doing so, but she couldn't really help it.

It really was beautiful.

Heatherstorm padded over slowly to the edge of the lake, where he then sat down, folding his tail over his paws. Mousepaw soon joined him and followed his example, feeling the cool water lap gently over her own paws in tiny waves. The section of the bank she was sitting on happened to be a bit muddy, but the scenery more than made up for it. _I really could sit here all day..._

"So," Heatherstorm suddenly said, cutting into her thoughts. "It's a wonderful place, isn't it?" Turning his gaze on her, he said quietly, "Could you perhaps share a bit of what made you come here? I'm sure someone would be able to help, and maybe it would provide clues for our own search."

Mousepaw thought about that question for a moment, and was about to respond when she saw something in the water and nearly choked.

She thought at first that there was a cat in the water, staring up at her, but then she realized that what she saw only made up the surface. That didn't help to reassure her at all, though. From the amused expression to the lighthearted amber eyes to the mischievous tilt of the head, Mousepaw realized with a sinking feeling that she knew who this was.

 _Not now,_ she mouthed to her other self.

Frowning at her silence, Heatherstorm changed the subject. "Um, what's your name?"

She was hardly listening. Her other self was grinning at her in her usual way, but Mousepaw was staring at something else entirely; just behind the silhouette in the water, she could see a faint background coming into focus.

It didn't look familiar, but it did quite match the theme of a place that Mousepaw had been thinking about.

" _Name,_ please," Heatherstorm said loudly.

Mousepaw ignored him again, heart pounding as her other self mouthed something back to her: _Terrible signals. Here is the only way._

 _What do you want?_ she replied, hoping she was being clear enough.

Her other self said something in rapid succession back to her, but receiving only a confused expression, said instead, _Remember. Enemy. Named Frostfall._

 _I know._ Still staring at the background below the surface, Mousepaw asked, _Why are you in the Dark Forest?_

"Excuse me, can you hear me?" Heatherstorm snapped.

She watched carefully as her other self put on an expression of shocked panic. The next thing Mousepaw knew, she had slipped out of sight and the surface of the water was empty once more.


	13. -garnered suspicion-

**.**

Cloudwatcher Lake

 **.**

Chapter Thirteen

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* * *

Heatherstorm finally snapped at that moment. "Speak up," he growled.

Snapping back to the present, Mousepaw hurriedly replied, "Oh, sorry. My name is Mousepaw. I was distracted for a moment."

Glancing over, though, she only saw his expression delve deeper into the land of suspicion. "Can you show me what was so interesting that you managed to ignore me for a solid minute?"

"I—well—" Mousepaw stuttered, shooting a glance over her shoulder to make sure that her other self was really gone. "I was just entranced by the beauty of the lake, and thinking about all that just happened. It's honestly a bit overwhelming." Just as the words came out of her mouth, though, she realized that she wasn't really lying anymore. "I wanted to take a few moments to reflect on everything. I don't know, then I just sort of drifted off."

Surprisingly, that seemed to convince him. His frown finally lessened, and he leaned back on his haunches, relaxing his stiff muscles. "I understand," Heatherstorm replied thoughtfully. "I should have considered the stress that had just recently been placed on you."

 _Not just recently, believe me._ Taking a deep breath, Mousepaw made a leap of faith. "Um, so, what's all this about Scorchwing energy or something?"

Heatherstorm hesitated, as if pondering over how much to tell her. "Just something that we StarClan use to communicate with the clans," he stated flatly. "Some might tell you that it also has hidden powers, but that's all nonsense. It has showed absolutely no sign of any other purpose. However, some have used this as reasoning for their fear of what it could do in the wrong paws."

Mousepaw squinted at him suspiciously, not sure whether he really believed it or if he was covering something up. "So you're sure about that?"

"Believe me, the only thing close to a power that it has is what I have already told you," Heatherstorm insisted. "Scorchwing energy is something that we once knew nothing about, and then kept a secret once we did. But now, I am finding that it may be important to tell certain medicine cats about it."

"Like Dewheart, right?" Mousepaw guessed. "From ThunderClan."

Remembering the conversation she had overheard, her heart plummeted again. "So there are other clans out there, right? The... real ones." Contempt slid into her tone, but she couldn't really help it. "Dewheart was visiting StarClan, in her dreams, I guess, but how was she able to with the Scorchwing stolen?"

"That's the thing we're worried about," Heatherstorm growled. "She got here before it went missing, but she should have just disappeared once it did. Scorchwing energy isn't picky, you know. Its power can still transmit over territories. If she's still here..."

He trailed off, waiting for Mousepaw to pick up his train of thought.

She did. "Then that means whoever stole it is around here somewhere," she finished. "Until it's found, you won't be able to communicate with the clans anymore, and I'm guessing that's really important, right?"

"It's more than important," Heatherstorm hissed, clearly trying to keep his voice down and failing. "It's been a tradition for countless moons. The clans are blind without us." Digging deep ruts in the ground with his unsheathed claws, he continued, half to himself, "Besides, that's not our only concern. If too much Scorchwing energy is put into one place..."

He didn't finish his sentence.

"Is something bad going to happen then?" Mousepaw pressed.

"Nothing," he snapped. "Back to the topic, please. Now, as I was saying, we need to get it back as soon as possible, and some cats are suspecting you. They must be misinterpreting the omen somehow." Frowning, he turned to look over at her. "I still have not heard a single word about your backstory, however. If you would be so kind—"

The leaves behind us rustled as they parted.

Mousepaw spun around, just in time to see a blue-gray she-cat sidle up to them—someone familiar. Heart lurching, she recognized her immediately as Dewheart and felt like melting into the ground. The ThunderClan medicine cat didn't seem in her best mood, either. In fact, she looked positively murderous.

"Nothing?" she snarled at Heatherstorm while shooting a suspicious glare toward Mousepaw.

"Just give me a bit more time. I'm sure I can get her to talk," Heatherstorm soothed. "Besides, it couldn't actually have been a mere apprentice. Before you know it, the Scorchwing will be right back in our possession. If only we could—"

He never finished his sentence.

Mousepaw flinched in surprise as Dewheart's figure suddenly flickered, as if she were an illusion. She didn't notice at first, staring at their shocked faces in confusion, then glanced down at herself and let out a hiss. "It must almost be time to go," she growled.

"I don't think so," Heatherstorm said slowly, rising to his paws. "If you managed to stay even when the Scorchwing was stolen, then..."

He trailed off, a look of realization dawning over his face. "Then it might mean that whoever stole it is getting away," Mousepaw finished. Thinking back to her other self's startled expression, the pieces started to come together just a little bit. "Don't worry. I think I might know who it is, and where they are. I'm sure I can find her, and even if it's not her, then at least we have something."

"Hold on," Heatherstorm interrupted. "The rest of StarClan won't like that. They won't want a suspect to be running all over the place, and even if they're convinced that you didn't steal anything by yourself, there's always the chance that you were in a partnership."

Dewheart was about to comment, when her figure flickered again. For several startling moments, she seemed to be completely invisible; then she reappeared, partly transparent as though half of her was somewhere else.

 _My other self clearly wants this Frostfall dead for some reason, and she might be just using me to do it through an incapability to do it herself. Maybe she was even lying when she said that killing Frostfall would solve the problem of the voices. But then, why did Lightning's last words to me match up?_

 _Does that mean they're in cahoots together somehow? That doesn't make sense at all..._

"But we're running out of time," Mousepaw argued. "If I bring back the real thief, they'll have to believe me."

 _Besides, I need to get to my other self anyhow, since I need explanations. I need explanations now. She's in another version of time, so I can't exactly just wander around and happen to see her... but if I can get somewhere secluded and try to sleep, maybe she'll come for me. But then, perhaps she can only communicate with me when I'm near a Scorchwing, which makes finding the culprit even more important._

Thinking back to the strange orb in the middle cave of the tunnels, Mousepaw realized that it must have had something to do with Scorchwing energy. But then, how was her other self able to reach her through the lake? _Some other type of magic altogether, I'm guessing. It doesn't matter right now._ "Just trust me," she pleaded.

Heatherstorm still looked worried. "They'll think you might be getting reinforcements, or off to help the thief, or just running away. Let's at least talk about this, Mousepaw. I'm sure I can—"

Before he could finish his sentence, Dewheart finally vanished altogether. She didn't reappear this time. Ignoring Heatherstorm, Mousepaw raced to the edge of the trees, taking several deep breaths. "I'm sorry," she said. "I need to go."

"Hold on!" Heatherstorm shouted behind her as she disappeared into the forest.

* * *

By the time Mousepaw appeared from the trees again, within sight of the StarClan border, she whipped around and glared at the one cat she didn't want coming with her. "Heatherstorm, I can do this by myself," she insisted.

He didn't seem to hear her. "I can send out a search patrol," he said desperately. "No one's making you do this. This is—this is completely insane. No apprentice is going off to wander around in the spirit realm under my watch."

"Too bad," Mousepaw muttered, as she stomped away toward the guards in the distance. "I have information that you don't. This is my battle."

"This isn't any sort of heroic quest!" Heatherstorm yelled angrily after her, his voice rising. "This is utter idiocy! Come back here right now!"

The six guards near the exit were eyeing Mousepaw suspiciously as she slowly approached. She could hear Heatherstorm trying to catch up to her, but she just padded on faster and ignored him. "This is urgent," she said as soon as she came to a stop in front of them. "Please. I had nothing to do with stealing the Scorchwing, and I can prove it somehow, if you just let me—"

"No," a ginger she-cat snapped. "This isn't our decision, anyway."

Mousepaw was expecting this, as half the expressions on their faces said 'no' as clearly as words. But what she didn't expect was that Fang would slink up behind them a moment later, and bare her teeth. The tom right in front of her flinched away in sudden panic, and the others shifted away uneasily. "Really," she replied in the vaguest way possible.

"Um, what's Heatherstorm doing over there, and why is he flailing his paw like that? He looks mad," the same tom asked nervously.

"He's, uh, really excited about giving me permission to pass," Mousepaw lied unconvincingly.

"Maybe we should give you lessons on recognizing facial emotions," the she-cat suggested.

Fang glared at her as if she could understand her words, and the she-cat quickly flinched aside. Mousepaw frowned at her companion—she didn't really like threatening other cats—but decided not to argue and stepped past the guards instead. They didn't try to stop her, but rather seemed a bit relieved, in a way like 'we-didn't-sign-up-for-this-so-if-you-die-that's-not-our-problem'.

Before Heatherstorm changed his mind and decided to just come after her himself, though, Mousepaw turned around and began hurrying along the dirt path out of StarClan. It seemed strangely empty at first, but then she noticed that most of the remaining guards were somewhere off in the distance, still trying to get the last of Leopard's followers under control.

 _That means we can probably search around without them interfering,_ Mousepaw thought, coming to the end of the path and ducking behind a tall reed plant to shield herself just in case. _But where to start? Maybe I can watch the middle path and the Dark Forest entrance, but something tells me it won't be that simple._

 _Can cats in the Dark Forest just find the exit? That doesn't make sense._

 _Maybe it's like a maze in there that never ends._

She frowned. _I_ _s my other self lost right now in another dimension?_

"Um, sorry, but there's a rather obvious scent trail over there," someone suddenly said from behind them. "I don't know, I just thought I should let you know that the crazy-murderer-cat wants to help."

Mousepaw spun around. It was her least favorite orange tom, Heartbreaker, shifting uncomfortably on his paws. "Can you at least notify us of your presence in a normal way?" she hissed, not in the best mood. "Besides, why do _you_ want to help?"

"Because I know what it's like," Heartbreaker interjected. "Because if there's one thing I hate, it's being framed." He gazed at her intensely, his turquoise eyes shining meaningfully. "There are plenty of bad things I know I did without accusing me of others."

Mousepaw searched his expression skeptically.

 _He doesn't look that guilty at all about the cats he's killed,_ she thought. _He could be dangerous. Then again... what he said makes sense. Besides, it's not the first time I've made friends with shady characters. Fang was technically responsible for the deaths of Finchheart and Hazellight, even though it wasn't her fault._

 _Maybe I can keep him around just for long enough that he's useful, and then we ditch him if he turns out to be suspicious._

"Sure," she said, hoping she sounded convinced. "Show me where. Scent trails are really just bundles of happiness and joy."

* * *

 **Send me a review if you're feeling up to it :P It'll make my day.**


	14. -persistence-

**.**

The Forsaken Path

 **.**

Chapter Fourteen

 **.**

* * *

"They call this place the Forsaken Path," Heartbreaker said ominously as all three of them slipped into the shadows. "Or, just the Forsaken. The point is, the reason this place is so empty is because, well, everyone that goes in here sorta dies."

"Really couldn't be more subtle than that, huh?" Mousepaw muttered.

They had already left behind StarClan a while ago, and were now trudging along the road, while Mousepaw wondered whether everyone else was on catnip. This place didn't look threatening at all; other than the storm clouds gathering overhead, it looked a lot better than she could have hoped for. Plus, she didn't have to worry at all about getting lost: a dirt path cut clearly through the stubby trees, and sometimes, they even caught glimpses of the occasional prey animal.

Still, Mousepaw reminded herself, it was always good to be on guard... especially when she couldn't even sense the trail Heartbreaker kept talking about.

"I can't scent anything at all," she said suspiciously. "If this is a trick, remember who I've got beside me."

She looked over at Fang, who was trailing so far behind that she could hardly be seen, but all the vixen did was stare off into the distance while occasionally pawing the ground, as though confused. Just recently, her eyes had begun to lose their spark, and had started to occasionally make strange repeated jerking motions with her head.

"I wonder what's wrong with that fox," Heartbreaker said. "I don't get why it's not attacking you. Especially after all the stuff you said it went through, it should hate cats even more."

"Because I'm her friend," Mousepaw said stubbornly. "She knows better now."

"There's something else going on," he muttered. "It doesn't seem to have any natural instincts at all. No matter if you're a friend or whatever, it's going to want to seek out its next meal. Right now, it's just following you with that blank look for some reason."

They continued on in silence, Mousepaw sneaking worried glances back at Fang every few moments. Heartbreaker couldn't be right, could he? Maybe there was something wrong with her and she just didn't know it. But what could she do about it now?

Changing the subject, Mousepaw lowered her voice and asked, "How much longer, do you think?"

"Don't know," Heartbreaker said, frowning and pausing beside a clump of cheerfully colored flowers. "The scent is faint even to me, and it seems like any other cat's scent, but... something about it is familiar. I feel like I really should know this person, but I can barely make it out."

"Seriously, what makes you able to detect the scent trail when the rest of us can't?" Mousepaw suddenly growled. "I can hardly notice anything."

"Maybe because the cat we're following is dead and I'm dead too," Heartbreaker said quietly.

Mousepaw glanced over her shoulder again. Fang was now staring off into the trees with a distant expression. "Speaking of dead cats, how many did you really kill? How did you feel when you did it?"

Heartbreaker stared at her incredulously.

"I feel extremely sad about it," he finally said. "They're the reason I can't go to sleep at night. They make me feel really conflicted inside. I get nightmares all the time about killing them. It's terrible. Sob sob sob. There. Happy now?"

Despite herself, Mousepaw found herself giggling slightly. "That's _not_ funny," she said, while struggling to keep her expression neutral. For some reason, he reminded her of Lightning. "Those are all real lives you ruined, and they'll probably never get to go to StarClan either." Tilting her head, she asked, "How are you here in the first place, anyway? I don't think you come from a clan at all."

"I..." he struggled to find the right words. "No, I'm not. But I'm a... special case. If you identify with the clans for long enough, your spirit will sort of find its way here, I guess. That doesn't matter, though, I—"

Heartbreaker suddenly went dead silent.

Confused, Mousepaw tracked his gaze downward at the ground, toward some sweet-smelling herbs.

She pawed one of the stems aside.

The scent of blood and fear-scent struck her immediately.

Then a stab of pain suddenly went through her head, and recognizing it for what it was, Mousepaw grimaced. _Of course it has to be now._

Heartbreaker recoiled the first chance he got, his eyes widened as if realizing something for the first time. "The scent trail!" he hissed. "It—it came from her. Hawkie. My sister. How—how did I—" Diving down toward the bloodstains on the ground, he continued anxiously, "They must have sent her off on this trail while I wasn't looking. Something attacked her here, but there's no body. She has to still be alive!"

"Calm down," Mousepaw said, shoving aside the plant stems. She tried to focus on the situation at hand, but she knew that soon, the voices would start taking over.

There was blood. Blood, paler than usual, looking less like a liquid and more like pooled mist.

There was something definitely familiar about this scent.

There was no sign of what had attacked her.

"This can't be it," Heartbreaker muttered. His eyes had started darting around anxiously. "This can't be it. I need to know where she's gone." He took a deep breath. "Or where... her body was dragged off to. The scent's fresh. They can't be far..."

Before she could answer, someone chuckled in the distance ahead, the sound like ringing glass.

Mousepaw started, just as the first familiar whispers started to enter her mind. _Come on, you can do this. Just focus..._

Exchanging a silent glance with Heartbreaker, she dropped as low as possible and subtly tilted her ears forward.

They weren't alone anymore.

 _ **THOSE MOONS. THOSE MOONS OF LONELINESS.**_

The heavy clouds overhead had caught up with them; by now, they had covered much of the visible sky in shifting dunes of gray. The leaves overhead started rattling as sudden gusts of cold wind blew through, but that was hardly reassuring. It sounded like the hissing of a snake.

"I can't believe you actually think you have a single chance against me, Frostfall, even after all these years," a female voice said, seemingly bored.

The single word jerked Mousepaw immediately into attentiveness. Heartbreaker turned his head curiously toward her—he couldn't have known who Frostfall was—but she ignored him, straining her ears to pick up even more.

 _ **LONELINESS YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN.**_

"To be honest," the same she-cat continued, "you're not amusing anymore, Frostfall." Her voice was like the clinking of shattered glass. "Perhaps I should just end this game of cat-and-mouse and just kill you once and for all."

"Hah, you wish," a tom hissed back.

Mousepaw gave a start; she hadn't expected the Frostfall she had heard about to sound so... ragged. "I know you don't have the power to," he sneered. Despite his current situation, he managed to sneak some triumph into his tone. "Because you don't have the Scorchwing."

 ** _I KNOW YOU'RE SOMETHING SPECIAL._**

 ** _JUST GIVE US WHAT WE NEED._**

Maybe it was just Mousepaw's imagination, but something seemed to flit in the shadows of the undergrowth beside her.

Silence fell as the apprentice tentatively crawled further toward the voices, peering through the grasses blocking her view. The thing was, at first glance, there only seemed to be two figures standing in the clearing; the more Mousepaw stared at the second, though, the more the she-cat started to blur. Multiple, transparent copies of bits of her body seemed to be moving and twitching on their own, so that she appeared to have several sets of each limb.

Frostfall, meanwhile, seemed as fragile as a transparent butterfly. It seemed as if whatever was sustaining his existence couldn't last much longer.

The she-cat snarled at him, or at least, her most prominent head did. The other ones were all staring off blankly into space. Taking a step forward, she growled, "It won't be long now, though. Soon I'll find that thing and erase you from existence forever, and if I don't, well..." She paused, then finished, "I'll find some other way."

 ** _PLEASE._**

The tom stared at her disbelievingly for a moment, then scowled. "I can't believe you were ever my former mate, Driftsong."

Suddenly, a sudden thought crossed Mousepaw's mind: could this she-cat be the same monster that Lightning was talking about? But surely...

"The feeling is mutual, believe me," Driftsong purred. "But I do admire your... persistence, however annoying it is. How _do_ you keep coming back when you die?" She abruptly stopped to tilt her head to the side. "It's almost as if you're drawing on power from somewhere else..."

 _ **FOR MY SAKE.**_

Intrigued, Mousepaw held her breath. Spirits that reappeared? She had never heard of such things before. But if that was true, and if he was really the reason that the voices existed...

Ignoring Driftsong's question, Frostfall snarled, "I was right to kill you when I did. If I hadn't stopped you, who knows what else you would have done." Glaring, he muttered, "But I guess that wasn't enough to stop you as a spirit."

 ** _JUST ONE LITTLE SACRIFICE._**

Driftsong stared at him for a long, long moment.

Then she finally broke the silence, saying coldly, "Enough of this."

In what would be the first murder Mousepaw had ever witnessed, but far from the last, Driftsong stepped forward calmly and unsheathed her claws. Frostfall didn't even try to struggle; he just stared off somewhere into the distance with his detached gaze like he was pretending he couldn't see her, or perhaps wishing for something.

Maybe he was wishing for an existence without constantly dying.

Or maybe a future free from the past.

Or maybe just that he'd found some other she-cat attractive all those moons ago.

But whatever it was, Mousepaw would never know.

 _ **I KNOW WE'VE NEVER MET, BUT...**_

 _Come on, come on, just stay focused, stay focused,_ Mousepaw told herself firmly. _That's right, you're getting better at this..._

Driftsong drew her claws lightly across his throat, almost gently, then dug them in as far as they would go and twisted them painfully in a complete one-eighty.

It was a silent kill—Frostfall must have been used to it—but Mousepaw dove down just before any rogue splatters of blood could land on her.

By the time he finally bled out and collapsed back onto the grass, still a cheerful green, it seemed like several eternities had passed. Driftsong had already disappeared, and as Mousepaw watched in shock, Frostfall's figure slowly began to fade. It wasn't collective; rather, it seemed that bits and pieces of him were slowly disintegrating into nothing.

Several long moments later, Mousepaw finally realized what had happened.

The voices had stopped at the exact moment that Frostfall died... and started around the time that he came back.

Something rustled the bushes beside her, and Mousepaw jumped, but she knew it wasn't her imagination this time.

* * *

 **Reviews are nice**

 **Gimme all the reviews**


	15. -and we all fall down-

**.**

Ripple Clearing

 **.**

Chapter Fifteen

 **.**

* * *

It was only when they could no longer hold their breath that they finally let themselves up.

Heartbreaker was still staring at the place where Frostfall once was, as if by doing so he could make the tom reappear again. Fang didn't appear to be interested at all; it was a miracle that no one had noticed her, as she was lagging so far behind the rest of the group.

Mousepaw, though, was squinting into the undergrowth suspiciously. Something had been there just a moment ago, that was for certain, but when she peered through the leaves, there was absolutely nothing there.

Finally, Heartbreaker spoke up and broke the silence. "Um, you seem like you know that she-cat or something."

"Maybe I do," Mousepaw replied, trying not to give away anything. "Is she gone?"

"I'm sure of it. There's no point waiting around anymore," Heartbreaker said, while giving a slight shudder. "So that tom used to be her mate, and then apparently after he killed her, she decided to keep murdering him whenever he sprung up again? That's kinda messed up, even for me."

Mousepaw shrugged. "I mean, it wasn't exactly entirely her fault. Even she herself wished she could just kill him forever and end it."

"That's not making it better."

She stopped at the edge of the tall grass, glancing back at him with an aloof expression. "It doesn't matter. Doesn't concern us anyway. Besides, we've got to look for whoever really stole the Scorchwing, remember? That's what we're here for."

"But my sister..."

Mousepaw had somehow forgotten all about the specks of blood in the murder that followed. She turned around at once, immediately putting on an expression of sympathy, although half of her was still wondering whether he was faking his concern.

 _He doesn't look all that sad,_ she decided. _Maybe they're in it together somehow; she left a scent trail, scratched herself on purpose to make it seem like she got injured; now he's going to lead me inside that dark and shadowy forest and kill me there._

Thinking quickly, weighing suspicion with compassion, she said, "Maybe you can go try to figure out where she went, since you're, uh, so great at tracking, and I'll continue ahead on my own."

She was expecting resistance, but Heartbreaker looked downright panicked. "No," he said quickly. "No, no, no. I'm going to die in there. I need backup if I want to save my sister. If I go in there alone—if whoever it is is still in there—if they're waiting for me—no, no, I—"

"Okay, _fine_ ," Mousepaw said, slightly annoyed. "Didn't you have a lot of practice fighting from those routine murders you were talking about?"

The words came out of her mouth before she could have a chance to think them over, but she didn't regret it. Unexpectedly, though, Heartbreaker started looking a bit sheepish. "It wasn't much," he admitted. "I mean, it wasn't exactly a fair fight. They were being held down by other cats."

It hadn't really clicked with her before that Heartbreaker's involvement in the murders wasn't much of a choice, but it still made no difference. If he really cared, he should have at least protested somehow. Then again, she would most likely never know. Besides, Mousepaw thought, it wasn't just their lives at stake here. Their arguing had distracted them from the real issue: Hawk Chaser, which was honestly more important. _She_ was innocent as far as they knew. at least, which was more than Mousepaw could say for herself and her companions.

Before Mousepaw could voice her new decision, however, she felt something drip onto her shoulder.

Looking up, she saw with annoyance that the approaching storm clouds were now on top of them, and covering the entire sky as far as she could see. Only moments later, the raindrops were already coming at a much faster frequency than before. Before they knew it, their entire pelts were soaked to the core.

Except they weren't really raindrops.

Even though they were pale in color, at a closer glance, they didn't seem to be transparent at all. Instead, Mousepaw realized, it was like milk, if milk had the same consistency as water. Now as she watched, transfixed, the ground appeared to grow less and less solid by the moment, like the strange liquid was making it melt somehow.

By the time her paws started to slide downward, Mousepaw knew it was time to move. "Come on!" she yelled over to Heartbreaker, struggling to make herself heard over the thickening torrent.

The thing was, though, she could hardly even move her paws; it was like something was sucking them right into the ground, and her struggling only made things worse. It didn't seem like Heartbreaker was having any more luck, either, and the rain-not-rain wasn't helping.

Before they knew it, all four of their legs were completely submerged in mud and slowly sinking up to their chests. Mousepaw had stopped struggling by this time, and just started lifting her chin as far as it would go. _This can't be normal mud. Or normal rain._

 _Then again, nothing here is exactly normal..._

She started to sink even faster.

Mousepaw hissed in frustration, unable to stop the mud from coming up toward her eyes any longer. _It doesn't matter. I can't believe I'm really going to die here by mud suffocation. It'll be over soon anyway. I wonder where I'll end up._

 _Maybe I'll just get teleported all the way back there. I mean, what a nice way to introduce myself for a second time._ Hi, I'm actually dead this time. Cheers. Sorry about your Scorchwing. I was too busy breathing in mud and dying. _Or maybe that's not how it works._

The pool of brownish water was now at eye level. Ominously, Mousepaw couldn't even see Heartbreaker anymore. Or Fang.

In fact, Fang didn't seem to be anywhere in sight. Mousepaw only hoped she had the sense to stay away from this place.

 _Oh, what does it matter. I'm dying I'm dying I'm dying. Update: I'm still dying. Like I was a few hours ago. I'm in these sorts of situations so often now that it's like I'm dying constantly. Help._

 _I wonder why this keeps happening. It honestly feels like someone's actually out there, messing me up every once in a while for entertainment or something. StarClan, if someone actually finds_ me _entertaining, that's just sad..._

Then suddenly, something seemed to tug hard at her paws, and with a final gasp of surprise, Mousepaw disappeared under the mud once and for all.

* * *

She sat up spluttering and coughing.

The surface on which she was sitting on felt strangely smooth and cool to the touch, like nothing else she had ever experienced. Everything was dark around her, including the floor, but the little light that was mysteriously emitted was still enough. Transfixed, Mousepaw watched as the mud slid off her fur and outright vanished into the ground like it was nothing.

 _I don't recognize this place..._

 _But am I dead or not?_

 _I never thought I'd see the day where that would be a hard question to answer..._

Something dark fell in front of her, thumping heavily on the ground, and Mousepaw blanked out for a moment before realizing it was Heartbreaker. Looking up and squinting, though, she realized that there was no ceiling to be seen. _It doesn't matter,_ she thought, trying to calm herself. _Probably just too dark in here..._

Heartbreaker suddenly let out a yell, flailing his front paws in terror. "I'm still sinking! I'm still sinking!"

In a true, selfless act of heroism, Mousepaw whipped her head down in a panic to stare at her own paws first. To her surprise, the ground below them was still as solid as ever. Looking up, however, she realized that Heartbreaker was, indeed, slowly being submerged. In fact, the floor seemed to be constantly disagreeing with itself over what state of matter it should be.

Rushing over to him, Mousepaw bent down to grip his scruff tightly while he unhelpfully started whimpering a long string of swears. For some reason, she wasn't sinking at all, but it didn't matter now. Hauling him out of the hole in the ground at last, Mousepaw finally let go and nearly fell over backward.

Heartbreaker immediately leaped to his feet and started hopping around, and Mousepaw thought for a moment he'd gone off the deep end. But then she took a closer look and realized that whenever he stayed in one spot for too long, he started sinking again. "Seriously, what is this place?" she asked.

"Don't know," Heartbreaker grunted, looking increasingly exhausted. "But you're not in danger at all."

Mousepaw was about to reply, when she realized she could hear voices.

Her initial reaction was to panic. _Really? It literally just happened!_ Somehow, it seemed as if the voices always appeared in the worst situations. But then Heartbreaker himself tilted his head, frowning, and stopped hopping just long enough to say, "Um, do you hear that?"

Mousepaw's heart skipped a beat. "So you hear them too?" she said, ironically excited. "I thought it only happened in NightClan! Oh, good, we're in the same situation here. Um, not that it's a good thing, I mean—"

"No," Heartbreaker said, resuming his hopping again.

"No?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I've never heard voices in my life before. Just, listen for a moment."

Trying to calm herself, Mousepaw pricked her ears and focused. Unlike previous instances, the voices actually seemed to come from the outside, and not inside her head. They also didn't appear to be getting any louder, like she expected them to. "Oh. Never mind."

Concentrating, she closed her eyes, searching for one voice in a sea of meaningless noise.

 _ **ONE OF US. ONE OF US.**_

It was there, all right. Mousepaw opened her eyes again, deep in thought. "So I guess this place is where the voices originate. Since you can hear it too and all. Though I still don't know what 'one of us' means."

"Okay, yeah, sure, genius," Heartbreaker said, now heaving for breath. "I don't know what's going on at all."

Mousepaw ignored him, staring at the obsidian-black floor with disgust. "I think I know why I'm not sinking," she said. "Because this thing is only designed to trap spirits. By StarClan, there are actual spirits—or fragmented spirits—in there. Cats like you."

This caught Heartbreaker's attention. He whipped his head around to stare at her with his mouth open. "Seriously?"

"I mean, I could be wrong," Mousepaw said. "But that makes sense, right? Plus," she continued, "I know you won't know what I'm talking about, but... I hear voices sometimes, _these_ voices, at seemingly random times. Now I think I see a pattern, though. It comes up as long as Frostfall is alive." Thinking back to what her alternate self had said, she finished gloomily, "So I guess being alive _is_ actually like a crime for him."

"Look, you're right, I have no idea what you mean," Heartbreaker panted, "but I can't stay like this forever. I feel like collapsing."

Mousepaw finally stopped at this.

Should _I help?_

 _Maybe I really should stop judging him so hard for what he's done._

 _Even I know how easy it is to get brainwashed like that._

 _Besides, if he ends up as one of... them, I wouldn't be able to stand it. No matter his past._

She shuddered.

"Fine, I'll try to carry you a few seconds at a time," Mousepaw decided. "So you can take turns hopping and resting."

Now it was Heartbreaker's turn to stare.

His blue eyes met hers for several long moments. Some unidentified emotion passed between them, before he blinked and the tension was gone. "Sure," he said, taking long strides toward her. "Let's get out of wherever this place is."


	16. -can you hear me?-

**This story is really going off the rails now lol**

* * *

 **.**

Cindershift

 **.**

Chapter Sixteen

 **.**

* * *

Mousepaw wasn't 'carrying' Heartbreaker as much as walking lopsidedly while he clung to her side in the least awkward position possible. Eventually, she managed to shake him off with her face burning as she busied herself pretending it wasn't. There seemed to be no end to wherever they were, and the tiny voices still tugging at her made her feel slightly closer to the deep end.

"Does this place go on forever?" Mousepaw muttered.

Heartbreaker was trying to look around while hopping, which was making him look a bit ridiculous. "It's just darkness in every direction," he pointed out. "But we can still see each other. There's light coming from... somewhere. I don't know, it's just sort of everywhere at once."

He was right. No light whatsoever shone down from above, yet it was still here somehow. Squinting at the featureless ground, Mousepaw realized that the light was the strongest there. But there were no openings as far as she could see, so how was that possible?

Mousepaw turned around, then quickly stepped forward in concern.

Heartbreaker had already stopped hopping, and his paws were now a tail-length below the surface... but he wasn't sinking anymore. Padding forward curiously, Mousepaw realized that although the ground had lowered where he was standing to create a tiny pit, it was staying. "It's safe," Heartbreaker reassured her, raising a paw back out to demonstrate.

Sure enough, Mousepaw was able to step right into the hole with him. It didn't sink any further, but when she prodded the ground, it gave away for one moment before snapping back into place. "This place seems like something right out of a dream," she muttered.

 _This doesn't make sense anyhow. Isn't the purpose of this place to trap more and more souls?_

"I know," Heartbreaker said, shuddering. "No plants or dirt or rocks or anything. Just that smooth, unbroken ground stretching away."

"It's almost as if—"

Mousepaw cut her sentence off short.

Heartbreaker looked absolutely terrified. His eyes were wide open, staring off into the darkness with his ears flattened against his head and hackles on end. Mousepaw stared at him curiously for a moment, wondering what he had heard, and then with blinding speed, he hurtled up onto level ground again and whipped around.

"I don't see anything," Mousepaw said, unnerved.

"That's not the issue!" Heartbreaker yelled. "G-get back up here! They were trying to k-kill me! They were trying to—trying to—grab onto my memories—that time when Shimmer—they were going to take it all away—"

Mousepaw couldn't hear anything out of the ordinary, but she leaped up to face him anyway. "The voices you told me about earlier, you mean?"

Heartbreaker nodded fervently, although she couldn't tell if he was just shaking too hard. "Th-them. They were tearing at me. If I hadn't gotten out of there—they would have pulled out everything—I would have forgotten everything. Everything. Shimmer, Era, how to chase rabbits, how to hook minnows out of the water like she taught me to—"

"Hold on—"

"It's happening right now!" Heartbreaker wailed. "I'm—I'm—oh, no. I think I'm forgetting how to breathe. I didn't realize they could do that. They can actually do that. They're going to split my soul in quarters and—"

Mousepaw took a deep breath, stepped over so her face was right in front of his, and interrupted, "Calm. Down."

He stared back at her for a moment, nearly hyperventilating and definitely able to breathe, before toppling backward and almost falling.

 _What was that?_

Glancing back at the ground, Mousepaw prepared herself and started focusing her mind on it as much as she could. Sure enough, a moment later, the voices started appearing to her again. For the first time, she felt both terrified and pleased at this.

Ignoring the sound of Heartbreaker trying to regain his balance behind her, she attempted to narrow down her focus as much as she could and block out all background noise. Nothing happened at first. Still not discouraged, she tried again. _It should work for me, too. If it's really about souls, then we should both..._

 _ **ONE OF US.**_

 _There it is._

 _Now I just need to wait a while longer._

 _ **GIVE IT TO US.**_

 _Give what? My soul?_ Mousepaw thought, trying to direct them at the voices. Maybe they could answer.

 _ **JUST TO ONE OF US.**_

 _Hmm. I think I get it now. I actually can help you if I give my soul away, right?_

 ** _ME._**

Something seemed to jerk at her mind, trying to open it and see what was inside. Mousepaw winced, as if this was real, physical pain.

 _ **NO, I'VE SUFFERED MORE.**_ **I** _ **DESERVE IT.**_

One of her first memories flashed before her, of a large gray she-kit knocking her down playfully, cuffing her ears with a squeal. Mousepaw hardly remembered who she was, but it must have been one of her first friends... before everything went wrong.

 ** _NO, ME. PLEASE._**

Then another: older now, no longer just a kit but instead a kit that had heard too much, sitting beneath the bare shade of a crooked tree and watching the rest of the camp on a greenleaf afternoon that was much too cold. Mousepaw was already trying to pull away by this time, but something was tugging back and putting up a fight as if their life depended on it.

 _ **THEN TELL ME. HOW MUCH PAIN HAVE**_ **YOU _ENDURED?_**

 _"Sorry, another headache," Mousepaw apologized, rushing into the medicine den. To her disappointment, Finchheart wasn't there._

 _But someone else was._

 _ **I CAN'T TELL YOU. I'M SORRY. I FORGOT. I'VE BEEN IN HERE MUCH TOO LONG.**_

Slipping by, sliding past. The dam too weak. The river too strong.

 ** _THEN YOU DESERVE TO BE LEFT HERE._**

 _ **SO GO AHEAD. ARROGANCE WON'T GET YOU ANYTHING.**_

 _ **ME. ME.**_

 _ **SHUT UP, THE REST OF YOU.**_

 _"Hey," Sootpaw said. "I just started training, so I don't really know what to do for that, but..."_

 ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME._**

Why couldn't they think of anything else? Wasn't it tiring to keep this up forever?

They had other parts of their soul, didn't they?

...did they?

Would they still be stuck in here if they _were_ complete like that?

They still had to ask for the souls. Somehow, Mousepaw got the feeling that they couldn't just tear it away from her like that. Maybe it was even harder for her than for Heartbreaker. She was living. More solid.

Maybe this was the reason.

One day, either a spirit wandering this place would go mad and give up, or just wait until the voices stripped their identity away piece by piece. Whichever occurred first.

Slow-acting death. Wonderful.

 ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME._**

To be honest, it did sound like she was a terrible person. Maybe whoever she freed would be so happy that they would do a sort of soul exchange with her every once in a while, so they could both take turns living. Or was that not how it worked?

 ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME._**

 _StarClan._ This was _infernal._

Mousepaw tried to pull away yet again, but nothing happened.

Then suddenly, something different rang in her head.

 ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME._ _heya._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME._**

She stopped.

Listened.

Did that sound familiar somehow?

 ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. familiar? of course, familiar!_** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME._**

 _Is it..._

 ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME._** ** _gosh dang, you're slooowww._** ** _of course it's me! everyone knows it's me! ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME. ME._** ** _ME. ME. ME. ME._**

 _Can you please make them stop?_ Mousepaw thought in irritation.

There was a pause.

Then all at once, everything went quiet and a layer of silence settled over her mind.

 _Much better._

 ** _mhmm. hooray. i'm back. i'm sure you're so excited to see me._**

 _No time to waste. Do you have the Scorchwing or not?_

 _ **i don't know. even if i told you, you would never know if i was telling the truth. so, uh, it's all in your head, i guess. for now, your reality is basically what you want to believe.**_

 _Thank you. That was so helpful, all the information just outright overwhelmed me. In fact, I am so enlightened right now that I cannot remember a single useful thing you have ever told me._

Second pause. Then she heard chuckles. **_whaaatever. fine, yes, i do have it. and you'll need it too, if you want to help me reg... i mean, solve your problems. same thing._** More chuckling, but this time nervous-sounding and forced.

 _How are you finding all these ways to communicate with me?_

 ** _oh, dear._** For some reason, her voice didn't seem to have the same tilting tone that it usually did. _**let's just say that i've learned a few... tricks. listen. i can sense that i'm not that far away from you. i can... i can guide you. to the scorchwing.**_

Suspicion.

 _I thought you had it._

 ** _i do._**

Mousepaw tried assessing her situation as best she could. Could this be a trick? _So you're going to be there as well?_

 ** _who knows?_**

She began feeling light-headed, and she only just realized that she had her eyes closed this entire time. _If you want to keep being vague and annoying, that's fine. I'm cutting the connection._

 ** _wait, hold on..._**

 _Goodbye._

 _ **please, you're not seeing the whole picture.**_ Her voice started to rise. _**i'm trying to protect...**_

Mousepaw let go.

The dark world fell away into another as she opened her eyes.


	17. -giving or taking-

**.**

Cindershift, part two

 **.**

Chapter Seventeen

 **.**

* * *

"Mousepaw. Or whatever your name is. Hey."

It took a while for her to realize that she was slumped on the ground in a position that allowed only for looking down. Turning, Mousepaw realized that Heartbreaker was staring at her in concern, and quickly tried to get up into a more dignified sitting pose.

"How long was I out?" she muttered.

"Um, enough time to be slightly concerning." Heartbreaker was staring at her, frowning. "Seriously, what happened?"

Mousepaw thought over it for a moment. Even she wasn't entirely sure, even though she had just lived through it. "No time to fully explain," she finally said. "Maybe we still don't know how to get out of this place, but I think I might be on the right path to finding the Scorchwing. That would be one thing checked off our list, at least, if I'm right."

Heartbreaker still didn't seem entirely satisfied, but he did look slightly more relieved, as if he was glad to be finally doing something. "Does that mean the voices told you that?"

"No. I mean... yes. I mean, it's sort of hard to explain. It's someone that I know." Mousepaw decided not to go into the whole other-timeline business with him right now. "The point is, she's supposed to lead me to it. But I'm not exactly sure how that's supposed to happen."

 _Hey, um... are you there?_ Mousepaw thought.

No reply.

For a brief moment, she wondered if her alternate self even knew more than she did.

"So we just wander around until we happen to find a clue?" Heartbreaker said skeptically. "She could be anywhere."

"That doesn't matter!" Mousepaw said a little too loudly, trying to calm her own anxiety. "I mean, we have all the time in the world. I don't suppose I have to eat or anything down here?"

To be fair, she hadn't felt hungry in a long time, but that didn't mean anything. She might have just been too constantly distracted to notice. "Let's just start looking around, see what we can find. If nothing shows up, maybe I can try to communicate with my friend again. Through the way I just did, I mean."

Heartbreaker still looked extremely dubious, but at least he didn't voice any of his doubts. "Remind me to tell your friend when we meet that we really don't appreciate vague directions about a vague somewhere."

"Good luck getting her to listen," Mousepaw said tonelessly, glancing around their surroundings.

Could it just be her imagination, or did the ground in the distance look a bit strange?

"In whichever case," she continued, "be wary. There's always a trick involved with her. I haven't told her about you yet, so it might be a surprise for her. Things might get a bit ugly."

By this point, Heartbreaker had already stopped listening and was following her gaze toward the distance. Swallowing, Mousepaw forced herself to focus. No, it definitely was real, she thought. The ground did seem to sink in several places, but the difference was getting increasingly hard to differentiate. "Isn't that the place where we came from, where you made all these dips appear?"

"I thought that was from the other way," Heartbreaker said, flicking his tail to someplace behind them. He then glanced down at his own sinking paws, but didn't move, as if he no longer bothered to do so. "This place doesn't feel right. It's making my sense of direction go crazy."

Mousepaw shivered.

She couldn't argue with that.

"I'll go check it out," she said, to finally break the silence, and slowly padded away.

She couldn't be completely certain, but it did look like the place that they had just left. For a moment, Mousepaw wondered if they were supposed to just wander in circles forever. Maybe that was why. This place, wherever it was, didn't even have to be large. It could achieve just as much with trickery.

Then again, that could mean that they could find her other self sooner and more efficiently...

Mousepaw began staring at the ground absentmindedly as she tried to think. She thought the light was just playing tricks on her eyes at first, but then she realized that the dips really were slowly rising up to join the regular ground level. Soon, all traces that they had been there would vanish.

If only they could somehow...

Then...

Like summoned by her thoughts, Mousepaw suddenly noticed out of the corner of her eye that familiar shapes were in the distance. More dips in the ground? Made by themselves, perhaps? It was entirely possible that they had gone that way before, but something seemed strange about them.

They looked less spaced apart, more clustered together. Like they were put there on purpose, to draw attention.

Mousepaw's heart began thumping harder in her chest. Could this really be it? Did her other self leave those for her to find? She stared as hard as she could, trying to see a figure in the darkness, but she found nothing. Or did she just have too much false hope? How were they even in the same dimension?

"Heartbreaker," she called as softly as she could over her shoulder.

But he was already there, catching up to her a few pawsteps behind. Mousepaw closed her eyes for a moment, trying to regain her composure. There wasn't anything she could do now, she told herself. This was it. The only thing that mattered now was preparing herself as best as she could, or at least making herself appear so.

Together, they approached.

The first thing Mousepaw was looking for was gray fur like hers. She didn't find it. Instead, a bright flame-colored pelt greeted her, as bright as the sun and completely out of place in this bleak, dismal world.

Her heart sank.

 _I should have known it. I can't believe I ever believed her for a second._

"It's you, isn't it?" Mousepaw yelled, stomping down toward the she-cat. She knew that she might draw unwanted attention, but she was just too done with it all. She didn't even care anymore. "I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have trusted you with that alternate-timeline fox dung!"

She stepped over to the edge of the nearest drop, breathing heavily. To Mousepaw's surprise, the orange she-cat hardly flinched. She merely looked up at her with a mildly docile expression, and said, "Do I know you?"

Mousepaw stopped immediately in her tracks.

Her heart tumbled.

"D... do I have the wrong cat here?"

"I don't know." The she-cat shrugged. "I'm not you. I can't tell what you're thinking."

"That's the thing: you're not me, but you're supposed to be pretending to be me." Mousepaw had a feeling that she must sound slightly deranged to Heartbreaker right now, but she couldn't care less. "But you aren't even trying to be. Seriously, who are you?"

For the first time, Mousepaw realized that the other she-cat was sitting perfectly still on the ground, paws folded neatly under her tail with a posture that would make Sorrelmist proud. "I am me," she announced, "and you are you."

Mousepaw's head felt dizzy. Could there really be others here? Did she actually get the wrong cat? "I'm sorry," she stammered, backing away. "I'm really sorry, I didn't realize that..."

She trailed off.

Something was standing right behind her: a shadow, a presence, a strengthened form of something that should not have existed.

Something familiar.

"No need to apologize."

 _Familiar voices._

She heard Heartbreaker suck in air through his teeth beside her.

 _I need to turn around. Turn around._

 _Turn around._

"It turns out that you have been right after all." The voice was deceptively soft, and drawling. "Please. Face me. Entertain me."

 _Okay._

 _Fine._

 _I can't hold this off any longer anyway._

Mousepaw took a deep breath, and turned around to look Driftsong in the eye.

Her first reaction: _She doesn't look anything like the last time I saw her._

Second reaction: _Doesn't matter doesn't matter doesn't matter she saw me she saw me this is it for me._

Driftsong was a she-cat not much larger than Mousepaw herself. Her silver fur practically shone in the darkness, and her tail was fluffy and stubby. Unlike last time, she seemed to have gotten rid of the multiple-limbs illusion: apparently, she wanted to look good for this occasion.

She was smiling ever so slightly.

"I'm... right?" Mousepaw tried not to make it seem too clear that she was panicking. "Right about what?"

"Everything... except for one small part." Before she realized what was happening, Driftsong's tail was already resting on her shoulder. It felt cold. Colder than anything she'd ever felt before. "That she-cat is indeed Flame Dancer, your... other self, as you might have known her as. But was it a trick? Obviously."

Ominously, Flame Dancer's position hadn't even moved one inch.

"I found her not long after I killed Frostfall," Driftsong continued. Mousepaw didn't even realize for a long moment that she had since removed her tail from her shoulder. She didn't feel anything. Everything was just so numb. "I had her tell me everything. Everything that she had planned.

"I was angry at first: how could she disappear from me for so long, only to come back to put forth a plan in which I was not involved? She was an old friend of mine, after all.

"However, this soon turned to amusement. She had been afraid of me, after all, and she thought that helping to get rid of Frostfall would regain my favor." Driftsong suddenly swiveled her around her to glance at Flame Dancer. "Isn't that right, dear?"

She nodded once, and went back immediately to her previous posture.

Something was wrong.

"Of course, she was too weak to do it herself, and banishing Frostfall forever would include taking out every bit of his soul, a task in which the Scorchwing is required. I'm guessing she thought she would give you a try. Didn't she tell you herself that in her world, she can do anything? That includes changing her voice and appearance, apparently."

"But... but..." Mousepaw protested. "In our last conversation, she..."

Driftsong unsheathed her claws.

"That reminds me."

She grinned.

"Oh, here comes the fun part. Because you see, I eventually decided that it would be fun to use her to lure you here. She is more talented than me at acting, that's for certain." She flicked her tail dismissively. "That's what your last conversation with her was about."

Mousepaw glanced over at Flame Dancer with a shudder. "Did you do something to her?"

Somehow, she already knew the answer.

"Flame Dancer," Driftsong interrupted, "are you loyal to me?"

She nodded fervently, so hard that it seemed her neck would break.

"Then I decided," Driftsong continued, "that it might not be safe for me to do this. Because who knows what treacherous thoughts my friend might have had about me? So I decided to make modifications to her soul."

Silence.

"Maybe there are some things I need to work on. But I do know how to take, especially with the tools I have. So now, all she has left are positive memories of me and some basic communication skills. So much peace and quiet and obedience. I _love_ it."

Flame Dancer wasn't even flinching.

Mousepaw was dimly aware of Heartbreaker still beside her, slowly backing away. But her heart was pounding so loudly now that she could hear the blood rushing through her head.

For the first time, her thoughts shifted from the relentless stream of _I'm done for she's going to kill me goodbye everyone I've ever met goodbye everyone I've never met goodbye everyone._

She swallowed.

 _This isn't just about me anymore._

"Skies below," Driftsong whispered, "I've never known that Scorchwing she was carrying around was so useful."

Complete, unabridged silence.

Swallowed by the darkness.

"I thought about killing her. I really did," she continued, now deathly quiet. "She is useless to me now, after all. But... I thought it might be amusing to keep her around, and who knows? Maybe I won't regret this decision later on."

Mousepaw kept her head down, afraid to look up.

"Flame Dancer!" Driftsong suddenly called, padding forward.

Said she-cat's head snapped up to attention immediately.

"Tell me: am I your one and only friend?"

"Of course."

Despite her fear, Mousepaw frowned. I _don't see the point in this._

"So will you always obey my orders, and follow me wherever I go?" Driftsong pressed.

"Certainly."

"Listen to me, like any good friend would?"

"Indeed."

Pause.

 _Is she desperate?_

 _Lonely?_

Mousepaw stared into Flame Dancer's eyes, trying to see what was behind them. But their dark depths weren't giving away any secrets.

 _Is she really gone forever?_

Then suddenly—

Flame Dancer whispered something. Something Mousepaw couldn't hear.

It was almost inconceivable how much of an effect these words had on Driftsong.

She stumbled backward, a stricken look on her face, as if remembering something that she didn't want to remember. For a moment, Mousepaw was as startled as she was—but then she slowly gathered herself and the incredulity gave away to anger.

"Let's play a game, Flame Dancer," Driftsong hissed, leaning in ominously. "Stand where you are."

"Certainly, my fr—"

Blood spurted from her neck and she collapsed before she could finish her sentence.


	18. -my name is-

**.**

Cindershift, part three

 **.**

Chapter Eighteen

 **.**

* * *

The next thing she knew, she saw blurs and distorted shapes and blurs of color rush by. Mousepaw was running before she knew she was running. Only later did she realize that she had been in these sorts of situations too often by now to be shocked into stillness. Some primitive part of her knew that she didn't have much time to waste.

She saw blood.

She saw death.

It was enough.

She streaked off into the darkness, trying to escape an inescapable enemy, her heart pounding and her thoughts scattered into a million different directions. The world was suddenly split into two facts, two facts she had no control over. She was running, and Heartbreaker wasn't beside her.

Mousepaw suddenly tripped, and before she knew it, she was splayed out on the ground, confused on what she was doing, confused on everything. Upon whipping her head around, she realized that she was only a few tail-lengths away from Driftsong, exactly where she had started. Her breath caught in her throat.

Had she been running at all?

Had Driftsong been somehow messing with her head?

"Get back here," Driftsong whispered, a deadly edge to her voice. "Turn your head around. Look at the beauty I've surrounded you with."

Mousepaw tried to get up, but some force seemed to be keeping her down. No... there wasn't some other force. Just her own draining away. Everything came in a haze, and then whether she turned her head on her own accord or not, she couldn't tell. There was no free will. No reason to have free will. Not even obedience. Just movement.

It was already too late for Flame Dancer anyway.

She wasn't dead. She was worse than dead. Her head was almost completely severed from her neck, pools of blood coiling around her paws and staining her fur, but she wasn't dead. She was still standing, or at least trying to stand. Mousepaw felt her stomach tighten sickeningly, and with a sudden burst of energy, tried to crane her head back around.

"She's lived up to her name, anyway," Driftsong said quietly. "Don't you see how the dark red mixes with the orange? I've seen flowers with that shade before. Flowers that seem to be set on fire. She's really dancing in flame now, isn't she?"

Driftsong chuckled softly. "Oh, what did you do to yourself, dear friend? This is a rather dangerous publicity stunt."

"How is she not dead by now?"

Heartbreaker was still standing, and he was almost shaking, staring at Flame Dancer with an unreadable expression. "Did you do this to my sister too?" he shouted. "Did you?"

Driftsong flicked her tail.

"That's right. Hawk Chaser, wasn't it? I was just about to get to her point."

Mousepaw had stopped struggling by this point, and was instead staring into the distance with an expression of horror.

In the shadows, far beyond her reach, was a tiny figure.

"Come out and play with us," Driftsong cooed, lowering her voice as if talking to an easily disturbed kit. "I think your brother misses you."

Slowly, the figure approached. Something was off about her, though, even from a distance. There seemed to be a slight aura around her, growing stronger and stronger as she got closer. Some sort of light, and it wasn't coming from behind her.

"Flame Dancer was such a smart little girl," Driftsong whispered. "She knew what she was doing. How do you conceal something in plain sight, you might wonder?"

She leaned in closer to me.

"Haven't you heard?" she said softly. "Scorchwings can be absorbed into their surrounding objects. But why carry around a pebble or a piece of prey when you can have another cat following you around?" She chuckled. "I'm guessing my friend found this little she-kit somewhere. It took a while for me to figure it out, but apparently we're all just objects, and we're all so useful."

Hawk Chaser stumbled into view at last, and Mousepaw finally got a good view of her.

Her eyes had a cold, distant look to them that she hardly recognized, and for a startling moment, she thought that bits of her soul had been taken away as well. But as soon as Hawk Chaser caught sight of her brother, something in them lifted just a fraction of a degree.

"Go touch Flame Dancer," Driftsong said, smiling slightly. "I want to make sure she stays dead, just in case she learned anything from Frostfall."

Hawk Chaser didn't move. She was still staring at Heartbreaker.

"I assume you two may be wondering why I didn't simply just do the same thing to do as I did Flame Dancer," Driftsong sighed. "Unfortunately, there was quite an inconvenience. Nearly every part of her insufferable mind was connected in some way to her dear brother, and whenever I tried to remove anything, she simply became more and more dejected and not a bit more obedient."

Mousepaw tried to shift her position again, in vain. Nothing happened.

"I'm actually not that big on obedience," Driftsong continued. "Just entertainment value. Only fools need others to do their work. So I decided to just leave her as she was." Turning back to Hawk Chaser, she said quietly, "Do what I say or I'll make you."

Something in Hawk Chaser's eyes shifted. "But I'm the one with the power. No one can take it away from me."

Driftsong chuckled. "No; you'll never be a match for me."

"Says you."

"Flame Dancer," Driftsong said, sighing, "go give your friend Hawk Chaser a hug."

Mousepaw closed her eyes at that moment.

Nothing stopped her from doing so.

By the time she opened them again, there was nothing left. Not even the dust that Frostfall had left behind. Only the previous telltale splatters of blood remained. Hawk Chaser was staring in shock at her paws, as if she couldn't quite believe what she had just done. Mousepaw swallowed, and tried to make herself appear as small as possible.

"I would like to remind you that as long as your spirit form is near death, one touch from your sister can end you," Driftsong said, turning to Heartbreaker. "So I would advise you not to cross me."

Mousepaw suddenly found her strength again, and quickly scrambled onto her paws at last.

Driftsong glanced over at her with a neutral expression. She considered her for a moment thoughtfully, then took a step back.

Suddenly, Hawk Chaser began to glow brighter than ever. She finally reverted her attention back from her paws, and stared at Driftsong with an apprehensive expression.

"I assume you've seen these sorts of portals before," Driftsong said. "In a few moments, it will fully appear."

Mousepaw's heart began thudding in her chest.

This could be her only chance out. If she could just manage to distract Driftsong, she might be able to sneak past her and get out of here, taking Heartbreaker. She didn't exactly know why, but she didn't want to leave him here. If only...

The same familiar circle of light appeared around Hawk Chaser's body, the soft glow flickering in and out like the beating of a heart.

"Do you realize I can read your thoughts?" Driftsong suddenly asked, seemingly amused. "Of course you're planning on escaping. I know every detail of what you're about to do."

No. She had to be bluffing. The most she could probably do was get a basic gist of them.

"It doesn't matter, though. None of it matters."

"Because you're going to stop me?" Mousepaw said with a flat tone.

Driftsong tilted her head.

"No. Because I'm letting you go."

Heartbreaker turned around and stared at her with a confused expression.

Mousepaw felt about the same. "Both of us?"

"Just you." Driftsong smiled slightly. "I think you're a bit more interesting than your companion, and I like interesting. There's not even any risk factor for me. I think you've already seen what I can do. Besides, once you get back, my friends might find you... useful."

Mousepaw swallowed. "I don't want to find out what that means."

 _Is this a trap?_

"Hold on," Heartbreaker said weakly.

"In that case, you're entirely correct," Driftsong said smoothly.

Before Mousepaw could respond, something slammed into her back and sent her stumbling into the circle of light. "Heartbreaker... maybe we'll see each other again," she said dispiritedly.

Just before she disappeared, Mousepaw caught one last view of Driftsong with her paw dabbed in blood. She was tracing the outline of something on the ground with it, something that curved and looped and spiraled into beautiful petals.

 _What?_

* * *

 **A . A**

 **\\-.-/**

 **/...\**

* * *

 _What?_

 _That was what I remembered thinking, long after our first encounter._

 _Her words made no sense._

 _I don't know why I kept thinking over it. I have a home now, a sheltered nest at the base of a tree. I've stayed out of SnowClan's radar for so long, and I should be feeling pleased with myself._

 _Everything's fine._

* * *

 _..._

 _I should really stop pretending._

 _That's not true anymore._

 _That was moons ago._

 _I stopped thinking like that the moment I met a she-cat named Flame Dancer._

* * *

 _She was hardly a full-grown cat when I first saw her, just like me. On that day, I didn't think she would ever grow up, either._

 _In any case, she never even made an attempt to attack, even though she was on patrol._

 _Instead, the first thing she said was_ —

* * *

 _ **"Hi."**_

* * *

 _"I don't think we're supposed to be talking."_

* * *

 ** _"Seriously, who cares?"_**

* * *

 _"Um, your clanmates?"_

* * *

 ** _"I'm telling you, we don't have clanmates. I mean, we're just a bunch of cats that decided to stick together. So as long as you're not a threat to us, I really don't care."_**

* * *

 _"So... what if I'm about to attack?"_

* * *

 _There was a pause._

* * *

 ** _"Then I guess I'll have to kill you or something, which is a shame because you seem interesting."_**

* * *

 _"I'm glad we're seeing eye-to-eye."_

* * *

 ** _"Say, what's your name?"_**

* * *

 _I had just chuckled then. Her question seemed so arbitrary, but I decided to entertain her. "Tell me yours first."_

* * *

 ** _"M'kay. I'm Flame Dancer."_**

* * *

 _"Driftsong. Nice to meet you."_

* * *

 **End of Part 2**

* * *

 **I actually did not originally plan for this to happen. :3**

 **So, as you can see, this fanfic is (as I've mentioned before) going off the rails majorly. Shadow Flight started with my personal cliché of the kitty cult (something I've recycled through my stories again and again). Then it ended up here, something barely recognizable as warrior cats fanfiction.**

 **So, uh, is anyone actually interested in this sort of stuff? XD**

 **Things will get more grounded from now on, but just in case. Mousepaw's POV will be the only one like this.**

 **Oops, spoilers** —


	19. -a corner of paradise-

**Part Three**

 **Paper Town**

* * *

 **.**

...?

 **.**

Chapter Nineteen

 **.**

* * *

 _Crumbling. Crumbling._

 _Crumbling._

 _Everything is crumbling._

Mousepaw didn't know where she was. Last thing she remembered, she was much more scared than she would have been willing to admit and completely, utterly confused.

 _Where am I?_

 _What just happened?_

Then everything came back, and she slowly steadied herself. It didn't matter what she still had not recalled. Something was happening in front of her, something big at this exact moment, and she just knew one word.

 _Crumbling._

 _Crumbling._

 _Everything is falling down..._

Her vision abruptly cleared, and Mousepaw stumbled forward into a sudden bright flash of sunlight.

Her mind flashed back immediately to where she last was, and it struggled to reconcile between those memories and what she was seeing now. For one, there was so much light in front of her that her eyes hardly knew what to make of it. The sky was perfectly clear, and there were more trees than Mousepaw had ever seen in her life.

But mostly, this place was just so full of life.

Cats were everywhere. Sharing prey in a brightly lit hollow, playing under the shade of a fully-leaved tree, walking back toward their clanmates together after a patrol. Something was strange about this, and then it finally clicked with Mousepaw. She had never seen a group of cats so content to be just... living their lives.

Entranced, she began padding closer to them. They seemed to notice her, and some of them even swiveled their heads around to stare at her, but for some reason, this didn't concern as much as it should. Something about this place was just so welcoming that she got the feeling she was safe here.

"Hello," she said, dazed. "Um, where am I?"

In the entrance of the camp, a black she-cat paused and turned to look back at her. "SnowClan, of course," she said. "Come on in. Travelers are always welcome here."

For the first time, Mousepaw realized that the camp was situated near a summit. In the distance stretched a range of even taller mountains, melting snow covering their craggy slopes. "But I don't know who any of you are," she said.

 **I _t_ 'S f _i_ n _e._ _i_ d _o_ N' _t_ k _n_ O _w_ w _h_ a _t_ _I_ a _M_ e _i_ t _h_ e _R_.**

Mousepaw started, then blinked. The voice had come out of nowhere. "Excuse me?"

The black she-cat had already slipped past the bramble entrance and out of sight.

She felt slightly disturbed, but decided that this must be just another byproduct of having the voices in her head. Mousepaw followed after cautiously, and immediately, her blood turned to ice in her veins.

The first thing she noticed was Driftsong. The she-cat was lounging in the shade of a tall pine tree, her head resting on a slab of stone, ears folded and paws folded over her tail. Meanwhile, everyone else in the camp was gathered around her, heads bowed in respect.

Mousepaw started, then hoped fervently that Driftsong hadn't noticed her coming in.

It was a futile hope.

It wasn't clear how she knew, but Driftsong slowly opened her eyes. They were soon level with Mousepaw's, who swallowed, blue and amber meeting in midair.

"Hello," she said calmly. "It seems like you are here. Good. Just as you left through the portal, I realized that there were still things I had to talk to you about. Things that had to be said in private. It is a rather convenient thing how these meetings can distort time itself with the help of Scorchwings, mm?"

"I didn't know you were the leader of a clan." Mousepaw tried to make her expression as blank as possible.

"Oh, I wasn't," Driftsong said lazily. "Not until now." She stretched out a paw, and a gray tabby tom bent down immediately, as if examining it for ticks. "In fact, there was a time when I wasn't even welcomed in SnowClan. But that has changed, right, friends?"

"Of course," all the cats chanted. Behind her, more cats were starting to stream into the camp, all attention focused solely on Driftsong.

Mousepaw's heart sank as she realized what must have happened. "Please tell me you didn't."

"Then you're in for a surprise," Driftsong said cheerfully. "Because I didn't. I never did anything to the original SnowClan. In fact, I had always regretted what had happened to them. That's actually the reason they're like this right now."

"Someone else did this?"

The tabby tom's claws must have accidentally snagged on some fur, because Driftsong quickly drew her paw back with a hiss and swatted him over the ears. "I'm afraid you're not understanding at all," she said impatiently. "Let me mark this out in clearer terms."

Mousepaw quickly nodded. Buying more time for herself was always good.

"I had... natural talents," Driftsong said, turning to another tom. "Natural talents that, unfortunately, my clanmates did not recognize. Persecution, I say! This was part of the reason that I eventually ran away."

"Talents?" Mousepaw said skeptically. "Like what?"

Driftsong took the moment of pause to pat the new tom on the head. "Prophetic visions, mostly. I knew these were no ordinary dreams, because they came true. Otherwise, I wouldn't have known that my sister would die."

She took a deep breath.

"Of course, everyone else was paranoid of what I could do. Outdated superstitions ruled their lifestyles. I wanted to change that." Driftsong scowled. "But what could I do? Nothing. That was what. Envy and hatred built up in the end. One day, still on the run, I came across a group of rogues, the ranks of which included my, ah, dear friend."

Her face darkened for a moment, then returned quickly back to normal.

"NightClan," Mousepaw said, sighing.

Driftsong winked at her. "I thought you were a sharp one. NightClan, yes, but they didn't begin to call themselves that until many moons later. In those times, they barely had a leader nor a structured rank system. But my stories of my past life enthralled them. So, there existed warrior ancestors who would grant them access to an afterlife?

"It turned out that these rogues had a long and bitter history with SnowClan, and they took advantage of me. I was accepted into their group immediately, and I willingly gave them everything I knew about my former clan. Every secret was exposed.

"I didn't realize how deep the grudge really went, though, until the day that they decided to attack SnowClan. I had been nervous up until then, of course, but I was also looking forward to it in a sick way. I wanted to see what was coming to them.

Mousepaw swallowed. "How did it go?"

"I didn't know that this wasn't just a mere battle... until it was too late." Driftsong looked down at her paws. She suddenly seemed a lot smaller. "Half the group stayed back in the camp, and refused to go. There might even have been a protest. I forgot the details. But they never told me anything.

"Once we got there, we silently filed out and surrounded the camp." Suddenly, Driftsong seemed to be somewhere else. Her eyes were staring off into space, as if reliving the moment. "Falling Flake—the unofficial leader of the group, I guess—told us all to be prepared, because it was about to get messy."

Mousepaw suddenly didn't want to hear what happened next.

There was a long period of silence. Finally, Driftsong looked up.

"They killed everyone. There was no mercy. Every cat, down to the kits and elders. I remembered being alarmed, and pulling Flame Dancer over to ask what was happening. She just said, 'So whose side are you on now?'

"There actually was one cat in SnowClan who never treated me like everyone else did. His name was Frostfall. In the moons before I ran away from my clan, we had grown close. Not that close, just... we were friends, I guess."

Driftsong looked away. Mousepaw knew the truth. "I had asked him to join me in running away, but he refused. Later, I sort of forgot about him. It had been a long time, and I had no reason to keep caring. But right then and there, I saw him again, and I realized that we weren't on the same side anymore.

"Sometimes... I can't blame him. The group that I called my own was slaughtering everyone he loved. But he didn't even ask questions in the chaos. He just took one look at me, said, 'Hey, you're back,' in a way that was much too calm, and..."

She trailed off.

"Then he ripped my throat out. I got one last look at the SnowClan camp, though, before I died." Driftsong cracked a crooked smile. "I... never knew there was so much blood in a single cat..."

Mousepaw tried to keep her stomach calm. "Then what?"

"My group succeeded. Every SnowClan cat was killed to my knowledge, except for maybe a few that escaped. I don't know. I don't care. I remember being so confused when I walked into the spirit realm, not being able to comprehend what I just saw.

"Because my memories got it all wrong, you see?" Driftsong gave me a pained grin. "No one died. I would still be able to go back to the camp and find everyone sitting around the fresh-kill pile, with idle talk for an idle day. So I wandered around for a while, convinced that this was all just a mistake.

"Eventually, someone found me. StarClan took pity on me, but it didn't matter. I ended up on the border somewhere anyway, not because they made me, but because I wanted to. I don't know how long ago I died, but it must have been a long time. NightClan has seemingly evolved since then, am I right?

"That brings me to now." Driftsong's eyes flitted back to the ground. "Do you know what I am doing, Mousepaw?"

Mousepaw snapped back to reality, and tried to push away any sympathy she had. "I know exactly what you're doing: killing off every single one of my clan as some sort of revenge, right?"

Suddenly, she had a thought. "Then you used..."

Driftsong shrugged. "I had regrets. SnowClan didn't deserve to die out, no matter what they had done to me. So I decided to begin recreating the clan, except better, using what I had—the souls of your precious NightClan. See how friendly my comrades are now? They won't hurt anyone ever again."

"That's not how justice works."

"Oh, I know." Driftsong lay down on her side. "But this is truly a work of art, wouldn't you agree? See, I can create. I can create things beyond your wildest dreams. One patch of paradise just for us, and it's going nowhere."

"Us?" Mousepaw said skeptically.

Driftsong had finally looked up. Her expression was amused, but beneath that, there was an aching loneliness. "Look, you understand me. Because you know what it's like to be rejected. Eventually, I'm going to get bored here, because there's only so much you can do with the nonliving. But you? Maybe this is it. I'm not asking for anything more. Maybe we can just live here forever."

"Tell me you're kidding."

"I'm not," Driftsong promised. "Just think about it, alright? The thing is, I can't talk to you much longer. Even my power has a limit. Soon, you'll emerge back into the tunnels. If you..."

Suddenly, everything faded away.

* * *

 **Storm presents: the most ridiculous antagonist motive ever.**

 **i mean, i'm kinda nervous about this one, i'm trying to make it work**

 **tell me what you think :)**


	20. -recollection-

**.**

The tunnels

 **.**

Chapter Twenty

 **.**

* * *

Mousepaw found herself on the ground, looking through blurry eyes at a familiar face.

Black and white fur...

Bright eyes...

"Hey, Lightning," she said faintly, trying to push herself up onto her paws.

She needed to stop passing out cold in front of toms. How many times had it happened in the last few days alone?

He grinned briefly at her, although he also seemed surprised. "Hey, uh... I see you're back."

"Lots has happened," Mousepaw muttered. "I need a moment to think. They didn't get too mad at you, right?"

Lightning squinted at her and frowned. "Um, who?"

"Because you told me how to escape and everything." Now that she could sit up, Mousepaw noted that she was in a cavern she had never seen before. It seemed comparably lighter than the other caves she had been in, and a small rivulet ran through the length of it. "By the way, where even are we?"

"Somewhere I hang out a lot." Lightning sat down beside her. "There's an entrance to the outside here as well. I don't think any of the others know about this place. I mean, I need to eat and stuff." He grinned. "They didn't seem to get too mad at me specifically, but I decided I'd better get out of there just in case. Besides, I've already done what I promised to do. So now I live here."

Mousepaw decided to ask what that something was later. "How did I end up here? I thought the Scorchwing in these tunnels wasn't anywhere near here."

"Close enough," Lightning shrugged. "These things aren't really precise." He glanced over at her strangely. "Hey, how did you find out what it was called, anyway?"

"I have a lot to tell you," Mousepaw admitted. "I didn't even get a chance to talk to Frostfall, because..." She swallowed. "Driftsong, you know, the cat you were talking about? I got a few close-up encounters with her, and she killed him."

Lightning sighed. "I know... again."

"So what did you want me to do?" Mousepaw suddenly accused. "Because whenever Frostfall was alive, the voices came back. Didn't you also tell me you were working for him? So was I supposed to finish him or something?"

"I mean, I was supposed to be on his side." Lightning shrugged. "Supposed to be." He wasn't telling the whole truth, though. Mousepaw could tell. "I didn't, uh, really know that what you said was actually the case. Guess I should have looked into it more, then."

Suddenly, he looked up. "By the way, what happened to that nice vixen friend of yours?"

Mosuepaw had almost forgotten about her in the events that followed. "Don't know," she said, starting to worry. "Probably lost somewhere. Maybe she ended up in the place where the voices were too, but just didn't meet up with us."

"Oh, I'm guessing she's fine," Lightning said, sounding unconcerned.

"Right," Mousepaw said absently. "So if you don't work for Frostfall, and presumably not Driftsong either, who is it?"

Lightning glanced over at her strangely, as if the question itself was unexpected. "Doesn't everyone work for themselves?"

On that note, he stood up and padded away.

* * *

That night, Mousepaw was crouched in a corner of the cave, shivering, having gave up on sleep a long time ago. She knew she should get some rest, but for some reason, it wasn't happening.

Forcing her eyelids shut, she tried to clear her mind of thoughts once more.

Moments later, she opened them again. Sleeping was already too much to ask for.

That was when she noticed the extra shadow flitting on the floor in front of her.

Mousepaw bolted upright again, staring. It seemed familiar somehow, and then she realized that it was one of those things that had been seemingly chasing her back when she first came here. This one seemed a bit more hostile, though. "Hello," she said hesitantly.

She glanced around the cavern hopefully, but Lightning wasn't anywhere to be seen.

The shadow paused for a moment, as if considering its next move, then quickly backed off.

"Leave if you want to, then," Mousepaw said, squinting and trying to figure out what seemed different about this shadow. It appeared darker than the rest she had seen, if her memory was to be trusted, and where had she found that same difference?

Suddenly, she realized. "Erm... you're... Osprey, correct?" she said, trying to recall her name. "I remember you." Mousepaw swallowed. "The one who was working with Leopard, right?"

* * *

 **ack**

 **such a short chapter**

 **i've been a bit busy lately, sorry**

 **i'll make up for it in the next chapter**

 **I'll also be going on a little break.** **Nothing too long, nothing too drastic,** **I just need time to think of some ideas and get rid of some workload and also rest and stuff. See ya guys in the next chapter when I'm back ^^**


	21. -unannounced visit-

***awkward silence* Uhhh hi! xD I'm somewhat back!**

 **Thanks for the reviews, by the way; I used to write chapters in advance, so I always forgot to add my responses to your comments, but recently, I haven't quite found the incentive to do that. On a brighter side, however, maybe I'll finally remember to respond to reviews from now on.**

* * *

 **.**

Tunnel cave

 **.**

Chapter Twenty-One

 **.**

* * *

 _"I remember you. The one who was working with Leopard, right?"_

Inconsequential words in a lost memory.

And then it all disappeared.

* * *

Groggy vision. Confused thoughts. It didn't match up with the bright light shining inside the cave.

Something had happened last night, Mousepaw was sure. Something that involved a conversation, although with whom, she couldn't recall. Strange. She usually didn't have that horrible of a memory. Perhaps she was just tired.

Someone was sitting in front of her, a tiny fish wriggling between his claws. Someone familiar. Mousepaw quickly struggled to get ahold of herself. Of course he was familiar. "Hi, Lightning," she muttered.

The fish flopped onto the ground, almost dead but not quite. "So, what happened last night?" Lightning said, glancing at her warily.

Mousepaw nearly started. She had just thought it was a brief memory lapse, and that no one else had noticed. "Um, you tell me."

For the first time, she noticed that she appeared to be in a different room than the day before. There was a single skylight on the ceiling, but other than that, only one other entrance that she could see. Mousepaw could still hear the sounds of the flowing stream, though, so it must not have been too far away.

"Uh, so when I came in at first, I couldn't find you. Eventually, I realized that you ended up in here, somehow, and you were muttering—"

"I didn't do anything weird, right?" Mousepaw interrupted. "I could have sworn that someone was talking to me just last night."

Lightning grinned back at her reassuringly. It seemed like what he did every time there was tension in the air. "Heck, of course not," he said, "aside from nearly biting my head off when I tried approaching you."

"Uh, what?"

"Nah, kidding. For the most part, you were just muttering unintelligibly. Nothing to worry about."

They sat in silence for a while, Mousepaw poking unenthusiastically at the fish, until she finally said, "That reminds me: I haven't gotten those voices in a while. I guess what I felt when I had that weird moment last night felt sorta similar to the headache I would usually get, but also different."

"So, pretty much the same but pretty much different. Got it."

"Lightning, you're not funny." Mousepaw took a deep breath. "I'm sorta thinking about what might happen or might have happened between Frostfall and Driftsong after I left. Maybe my episode last night had something to do with them... and while we're on that subject, Heartbreaker is still stuck with her."

Seeing Lightning's expression, she quickly added, "Uh, I'm been busy while I was away. Making friends and such. I've also been losing them."

"I know, it's just... that name reminded me of something." Lightning was staring off somewhere into the distance, his whiskers twitching. "Not that name specifically, but more of how it's structured, if you catch my drift."

"Please don't tell me there's a Throatstrangler and Bonesmasher as well."

Lightning shrugged, and for a moment Mousepaw was actually concerned.

"Um... you're not actually serious, are you?"

"Hey, I think that's enough of that," Lightning suddenly interrupted, standing up. "I feel like going outside, enjoying some fresh air right now. Maybe even doing some light hunting." He flashed her a smile. "I don't think you've been outside for a while. Let's go."

Mousepaw sighed. "Stop. Intentional information withdrawal. Conspicuously inconspicuous change of subject. Just stop."

Lightning was already on his way out, barely sparing her a backward glance. "I believe in my ability to run away," he said, disappearing around the corner.

* * *

The day seemed to fly by. Mousepaw thought it would be the opposite, given the fact that she had absolutely nothing to do now that Lightning was outside. But her pondering must have taken up much more time than she had originally thought, because before she knew it, the sun was already setting.

For some reason, she had been dreading this. Perhaps it was the fact that she wasn't sure what would happen tonight. Perhaps it was that she had been worried that Driftsong would make a return in her dreams. Or maybe it was just because that Lightning still hadn't come back.

But whatever the case, Mousepaw began pacing around the cave, trying to blink the grogginess from her eyes even though she knew that sleep was inevitable. Eventually, though, she gave up and slumped back against the wall, allowing her eyes to close for the first time in a long while.

Just before she nodded off, a shadow flitted across the corner of her vision. She cracked open one eye, suddenly alert, but then noticed that Lightning was back, curled up on the other side of the cave. Maybe he had just been coming back. Or she was just starting to get much too paranoid.

It didn't take long before she finally fell asleep, a half-formed plan in her mind. Something about what to do in case Driftsong decided to pay a visit to her again, and also something about Heartbreaker. But in the end, it didn't matter anyway.

No one came for her.

No one chased her through her nightmares.

And Driftsong wasn't anywhere near her, but it didn't feel that way at all.

* * *

By the time Mousepaw woke up, she almost expected Lightning to be there again, holding a new fish between his jaws and grinning at her. But he was gone again. Sighing, she repositioned herself against the wall and stared out the entrance to the cave, wondering if she should try exploring for a change. She really needed some peace of mind right now.

Slowly, Mousepaw padded over to the patch of sunlight and dwelled in it for a moment, squinting out past the darkness of the cave and trying to get her eyes to adjust. Just a few trees dotted the landscape in front of her, the rest of the space taken up by wildflowers. "Lightning?" she called halfheartedly.

No response. She pressed onward.

This sparse forest seemed strangely deserted. No birds sang through the leaves over her head, and rustling in the undergrowth was nowhere to be heard. Eventually, though, Mousepaw came upon a long, winding dirt path that wound through the trees, as if it had been specifically made to walk on.

Curious, she redirected her route and began following it. Something about this path reminded her of the first time she had entered the tunnels, that feeling that there was something else beyond her world that she couldn't understand. Those strange objects lying in the dust, the high beams that supported the tunnel ceiling... it was just so unnatural.

Finally, the trees cleared out once and for all, and the path widened.

In front of her stood tall, looming dens, higher than even the ceiling of the cave. They might have been much more impressive at an earlier time, but Mousepaw noted the crumbling walls, the fallen roof, the entrance that seemed to be collapsing in on itself. Normally, she might have been much more wary, but there didn't seem to be anyone here now, and she couldn't come up with why anyone would want to live here.

Past more rows and rows of these dens she went, silhouetted against the backdrop of a mountain peak behind them. Mousepaw frowned. That mountain did seem familiar. It must have been the same one that she saw every day from NightClan.

Still, it was strange seeing it from a whole new perspective, and it wasn't just the mountain.

Something rather large must have built all of this, Mousepaw pondered, pacing beneath the shade of a smaller den. A tiny leap of thrill suddenly raced through her. If she wanted, she really could just go on forever. There had to be a lot more to the world beyond what she was seeing, and anyway, there was no way she would ever go back to NightClan.

She paused.

Reconsidered as she remembered something.

It wasn't just about her, wasn't it? If she ever went back, nothing good would come of it on her end—of that, she could be certain. But hadn't Driftsong been threatening to end NightClan for good? Mousepaw turned back so that she was facing the far side of the mountain, the one sitting above her former home, and realized that for all she knew, it might already have happened.

There suddenly came the soft rustling of leaves behind her, and she hurriedly turned around.

She had been wrong after all. There were other inhabitants in this area. In front of her stood a broad-shouldered tabby tom, who couldn't have possibly looked more disinterested to see her there. Mousepaw waited for him to make the first move, but when he simply resumed staring at her, she said awkwardly, "Uhh... hello."

He flicked his tail at her before turning around and padding away.

Mousepaw knew that she could have just walked away as well, but annoyance rushed through her and she quickly followed after. "So, uh, are you the only cat living here?" she tried next.

No reply. He dug his claws into the trunk of the nearest tree and began nimbly climbing up toward the first branch.

"My name is Mousepaw," she said, trying to gesture as much as she could. Maybe he was deaf.

There was silence for a few more moments while the tom finally settled onto the branch, paws folded under his tail. Then finally, he said, "Sleet."

Mousepaw turned her head toward the sky skeptically. "Sleet?"

"My name is Sleet."

"Oh."

They stood in some more awkward silence for a moment, before Mousepaw couldn't stand it anymore. "Do you live here? Is this your home?"

He glanced over at her strangely. "The world is my home."

"Okay." Mousepaw took that as a yes. "So, you're a... loner, correct?"

Sleet seemed a bit confused at that question. "I prefer not to associate with others, yes."

"So, am I the first cat you've seen in a while or what?"

Sleet proceeded to simply ignore this question, while staring at something in the distance with quite a fair bit of intensity.

Several moments later, he slipped down the other side of the branch and was gone.

* * *

 **it's just his personality, if you're wondering**


	22. -holes in a patchwork-

**.**

Tunnel cave

 **.**

Chapter Twenty-Two

 **.**

* * *

She remembered opening her eyes, confused.

Gray wall. Gray ceiling. Gray floor. Something about this was wrong. Something about this was just... off. Mousepaw couldn't tell exactly what, but she had a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that she wasn't supposed to be here. The last thing she remembered was that she was talking to someone—to whom, exactly, she wasn't sure—and it was a rather strange conversation.

But, strange conversation or no, she knew with a sinking conviction that it wasn't possible for her to be back at the cave.

Mousepaw glanced up, blurry-eyed, her heart pounding for some reason. There was Lightning, sitting in the light of the rising sun, watching the river run past him. Could it have happened again? Memory lapses were never a problem in her life before, ever, but...

The more she thought about it, the more she began to doubt herself. Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe it was never real to begin with. But then, why did it feel so vivid? Standing up and padding over to Lightning, she said, "Uh, excuse me..."

He glanced over at her, and immediately grinned. "Hey."

"So, you weren't here yesterday when I woke up, right?" Mousepaw asked. She didn't want to make the question seem to suspicious, just in case he began to think that the lapses were a regular occurrence. They weren't, but...

"Nope, sorry," Lightning said, shrugging. "I don't get much sleep anyway, going to my nest late every night and all, but for some reason, I just can't make myself lie there all morning. I feel like I have to get up and go out and hunt or something."

"I see." Mousepaw took a deep sigh of relief as Lightning shot her a curious glance. "Maybe I should too."

She could practically feel Lightning staring at her all the way out the entrance of the cave. "Um, you know, it's not that hard to tell when something's on your mind, by the way," he suddenly said. "Just to let you know and all. Feel free to talk to me about stuff if that's the case."

"I will," Mousepaw muttered, disappearing into the blinding sunlight without another backward glance.

It happened to be an especially beautiful day outside—the trees seemed to be even greener than the day before, and the wind was fresh on her face as she lifted her chin. It took a few moments before Mousepaw realized that she had absolutely no idea where she was going. Sure, she felt like going outside and getting some fresh air, but for some reason, her paws were leading her down the familiar path that cut through the woods.

She frowned.

How was that path familiar again? She stopped and glanced around, but only unfamiliar forest greeted her back. There was something about this place that made her feel like she had been here before, but she couldn't exactly pinpoint when or why. It must have been yesterday, with that lapse. Mousepaw shook her head.

It was strange. Normal memory lapses, if they could be called normal, shouldn't extend over such a long period of time. But somehow, for her, they did. Mousepaw had no idea whether it still had something to do with Frostfall or not, but one thing was for sure. It was bound to happen again, if her previous terrible luck was any indication.

Eventually, she paused.

 _Tall stone ruins. Some strange cat. There was a tree involved somewhere, I'm sure._

And there she was again. Mousepaw stared around at the strange structures, sure that she was supposed to be impressed, but once again, she felt as if she had been here many times before. A sense of panic suddenly set her on edge. There was no telling how many of those long lapses she had already had. She might not know. She had never asked, had she?

So for all she knew, hypothetically... could several days have already passed and she just didn't realize?

Mousepaw's head was starting to hurt, so she took a deep breath and settled down by the side of the path. The moment she got back to the cave, she would get this all sorted out immediately. In the meantime, she could try to look around this place and notice any clues that might tell her about what she was doing.

Standing up again, she regained her confidence and started searching.

Several moments later, she was already ready to give up. How she had just thought this was a good idea escaped her. Unless she was told directly by someone else, there was no way she would be able to figure out anything on her own.

Eventually, she stopped in front of the entrance to one of the looming dens. Mousepaw peered in, but saw nothing except swirling dust particles and fallen wooden boards. "Hello?" she called uncertainly. If anyone lived in this place, she might as well start searching now.

No one called back. For some reason, she had a feeling that the cat wouldn't have responded even if they really were here. Mousepaw stepped further inside, scattering a pile of dust and sending it billowing up in a storm over her face. She coughed, unable to see for a moment, before it all finally settled back down around her paws.

There was nothing. Mousepaw padded over to every corner, examining the spaces for who-knew-what, but just as she expected, there was nothing even remotely interesting about this place. She was just about to turn around and leave, when something suddenly caught her eye.

It was a mouse. Mousepaw frowned, then stepped over to it cautiously. It had been dead for a long time, by the looks of it, and apparently left half-eaten on the ground, covered with mounting layers of dust. She poked it with a paw. So someone did live here after all. Her memories, or at least what was left of them, was still partly reliable.

But wait.

Mousepaw suddenly froze. Driftsong, as far as she knew, definitely could alter and remove memories. Unless there was someone else out there, someone that she didn't know about, Driftsong had to have something to do with it all. Mousepaw didn't realize that she had the power to mess with her from such a great distance, but anything was possible. She just didn't know anything anymore.

But even if she was correct, so what then?

Mousepaw took a deep breath, then sat down and tried to think. There had to be some way to prevent this. Maybe she already had the answer, but she just didn't recognize it for what it was.

The thing was, defeating Driftsong in any way possible seemed to be flat-out impossible. It was like a rainbow, seemingly just within the distance but still so far away no matter how long you walked. Sighing, Mousepaw began to pace. There must be something she could do.

Suddenly, soft footsteps alerted her back to the present.

Mousepaw spun around, unsheathing her claws without even realizing it. There, right in front of her, stood a tabby tom that for all means and purposes, looked completely emotionless. Maybe there had been a flash of recognition in his eyes at some point—she couldn't be sure—but for the most part, it seemed as if he found her presence completely uninteresting.

Finally, she decided to break the awkward silence and step forward in greeting. "Hello," she said. Something about this cat was familiar, and she promptly decided that he must have been the one she was just talking to the day before. "I... think I may know you from somewhere."

"Only I know myself," the tom said.

His name. It was something about the sky, wasn't it? Something about the weather. Mousepaw searched her memories carefully, but there was no single word that popped out at her. "I meant, we might have met before, and maybe had some sort of conversation."

"I can choose not to converse with you if I do not want to," he replied, before turning around and disappearing out the den entrance.

Mousepaw blinked. She wasn't quite sure if that was a miracle that just occurred or what. On one paw, she was pretty sure that was the longest sentence she'd ever heard him say. On the other, however, it made almost no sense in terms of what they had just been talking about. "Um, wait!" she called out, padding after him more slowly.

She couldn't see where he had went at first, but after a bit more searching, she realized that he was crouched over near a small pond at the edge of the rows of dens. His head was bowed, and he seemed to be staring intently into the surface of the water.

Not wanting to startle him, Mousepaw said cautiously, "I can leave if I'm bothering you..."

"To what extent must you travel before it can be said that you have left?"

She took a moment to process that question over in her head. "To the point where I'm no longer bothering you," she said, trying to relate her answer back to her previous statement.

"So what will you do?"

"I need to know whether you feel comfortable with me being here." This was getting nowhere, but Mousepaw was starting to enjoy this; at least she was talking to someone. "I asked a direct question earlier."

"If I have no quarrel with you being here, then what will you do?"

"Stay, I guess." Mousepaw squinted past him to the water, then suddenly came up with an idea. "So can I?"

The tom just looked bored, so she took that as a yes and settled down carefully beside him. Her worried expression was reflected right back at her by the glimmering water, and Mousepaw tried to figure out what she should do next.

If she just stuck her head in the water, someone might think she was crazy if they didn't know what she was doing. But then again, that tom wasn't exactly any other normal cat, and he might not even mind. That just left the situation up to the question of whether this was going to work at all. Mousepaw had a vague recollection of the events of the previous day, and whatever happened to her might have occurred right when she was going back to the cave. But then, so what?

She glanced up at the sun again. High in the sky, light, wispy clouds gathering around it in clusters. It was almost the perfect day to go out and hunt. If her leftover memories could be trusted, she probably left this place just before sunset. But none of this would even matter if it happened again, which meant that she had to hurry. Even if she had to sacrifice some of her dignity in the process.

Taking a deep breath, feeling suddenly extremely idiotic, Mousepaw plunged her head into the water.

It was colder than she had been expecting, and she immediately winced. It was only a few moments later that she realized that she felt exactly the same as before, and something about that was just strange. By the time she finally figured out what it was, she felt like she should have done so much sooner.

Of course. The voices had been completely, utterly gone for a while now.

Frostfall must be actually dead now.

Eventually, Mousepaw went back up to take a quick breath, splattering drops of water everywhere. The tom didn't even seem to notice, just stared at her with mild interest. "Sorry," she quickly apologized. "Just... testing something."

And she went under again.

* * *

 **seriously, mousepaw? seriously?**


	23. -lost purpose-

**.**

Tunnel cave

 **.**

Chapter Twenty-Three

 **.**

* * *

And again.

* * *

Mousepaw never realized how done she was with all of this until she woke up the next morning in the exact same cave, sleeping in the exact same moss bed, staring out into the exact same sunrise. For a moment, she was confused, but then that confusion quickly turned to anger.

It happened again. She had no idea how or why, but it happened again. Maybe she had tried to do something different the day before, maybe she hadn't—but in the end, it hadn't mattered at all. Mousepaw leaned over to stare at the ground, trying not to panic.

This cycle couldn't last forever, she kept telling herself, but to no avail. Something was bound to change somewhere down the line, whether by her own volition or not. But no matter what, she couldn't stop trying. There had to be solutions somewhere out there, but maybe, if she just...

Mousepaw snapped out of her thoughts as a figure suddenly blocked her way and stopped the path of dim sunlight short.

It was just Lightning. He grinned down at her with his usual smile, flicking his tail behind her, but she just felt dread as she saw him. "I'm not in the mood to talk right now," she muttered, even as she herself wondered whether conversing with him might bring about some new solutions. "Just... I'm not feeling the best."

"I thought so." Lightning settled down in front of her. Mousepaw noticed that he didn't have a fish with him this time around. "Look, you've been acting weird for a long time. Clearly, something's happening. I'm not blind, you know."

Despite, Mousepaw began to feel panic churning up inside of her. She had no idea what to say, and at any moment, she almost expected herself to be back in her nest, blinking open her eyes and feeling a fresh sense of crushing disappointment.

The memory lapses don't work that way, she told herself again, more firmly this time. It wasn't as if she would just conveniently start forgetting everything. The only time she started to forget was after the day was already over, which wasn't going to be the case anytime soon.

Like she was trying to check that it was true, Mousepaw lifted her chin and stared outside. It was only then that she realized why the cave seemed to be so dim: it was raining lightly, but it seemed to be growing increasingly worse as she watched. "I'm... just tired," she quickly said, as she caught the expression on Lightning's face, waiting for her to continue. "Just tired."

"No, really."

"I'm serious." She was. She really was tired, even if it wasn't anywhere close to the whole truth. Mousepaw began absentmindedly grooming herself, trying not to rip out any of her fur in the process. To be honest, she hadn't felt so tired in a long time, in more ways than one. "That's all. Maybe I just don't feel like talking to anyone today."

"Rinse and repeat, for several moons," Lightning joked, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

Mousepaw started, briefly wondering how he knew what was happening to her—before she realized that he was talking about her previous statement. Letting out a breath of relief, she said coldly, "So are you going to leave or not?"

Surprisingly, Lightning didn't seem affected in the last, although for a moment, he might have frowned just a little bit. "That's fine, then," he said, standing up. He didn't seem all that angry, which immediately made Mousepaw feel guilty. "I'll, uh... go out to hunt, I guess."

"Um, wait, just a question," she quickly said, before he could slip out of the cave entrance again.

For a moment, Mousepaw thought he was intentionally ignoring her, but then he turned around and offered her a shrug. "Sure, anything."

"How many days has it been since I came back here again?" she asked.

Lightning stared at her in mild surprise for a moment, his eyes betraying nothing, before saying, "Uh... wasn't that just yesterday?"

He must have seen her expression, because he quickly chuckled and said, "By your StarClan, you really should have seen your face." He flicked his tail playfully, but Mousepaw didn't feel comforted by it anymore. "I can't believe you actually believed me right there. I always thought you were harder to fool."

Before she knew it, he was gone again. Mousepaw shook her head, trying to dislodge the previous conversation from her mind, but no matter how hard she tried, she still felt a prick of anxiety.

I'm just being overly paranoid, she thought, trying to actually convince herself for once. I'm seeing patterns where there are none, and suspicious actions where there's just Lightning being his usual self.

Even so, she kept wondering how much he actually knew about her.

* * *

By the time she came back to the collapsed dwellings at the end of the road, Mousepaw already had some inkling of what she knew about this place. There was water involved somewhere, she was sure of it, and the memory of that strange cat was already cemented in her unconscious, leading her to believe that she probably met him again the day before.

Maybe all of this is location-specific, Mousepaw suddenly thought as she glanced up toward the mountains in the distance. There must be a Scorchwing somewhere nearby, given that the tunnels must not be that far away from here. So if she managed to somehow get far enough from this cave that whoever it was couldn't reach her anymore...

Even she knew herself that it was a desperate hope, but she was willing to cling to almost anything at this point. Sure enough, only a little while later, she was already at the end of the rows of buildings and before her stretched a grove of trees.

 _I can't believe that I'm actually doing this..._

Nonetheless, she steadied her own nerves and hurried over to the shelter of the forest.

Realizing that she was feeling rather hungry, she dipped down into a low crouch and tried to scent the air around her. Surprisingly, there seemed to be the strong scent of mice coming from somewhere on her right. Turning slowly, being careful not to disturb any leaves or debris around her, she began taking careful steps toward it.

There suddenly came a rustling in the undergrowth beside her, and she spun around, slamming her paw down on where it had come. By the time she raised it to examine it, however, nothing was trapped underneath her unsheathed claws except damp moss and ferns. "My hunting skills are really starting to fall apart," she muttered.

Frustrated but still determined to keep going, Mousepaw picked herself up and headed further into the forest.

Somehow, no matter how far she went, the mountains before her never seemed to get any closer. She supposed it was just because there was so much distance between them, but it did seem a bit strange.

Just a little while later, however, Mousepaw glanced down at her paws and realized that the ground seemed to be spinning. Trying to steady herself, she fixed her eyes on a little lilac bush a little ways off from her. Something about it seemed familiar, though, and it wasn't before long that she realized—she had passed that exact same spot just earlier.

Mousepaw frowned, before taking a deep breath and leaning against a nearby tree. Just until I get my bearings back, she managed to convince herself. The truth, she didn't feel like going anywhere anymore. Maybe it was just her, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong about the way she was reacting to this place.

It was almost like... someone didn't want her to leave...

Before she even knew, she was slumped against the ground and had her eyes seemingly glued shut, while sleepiness that wasn't there before suddenly overwhelmed her. She fought against it for a moment, knowing all along that it was completely futile, then eventually gave in to it and let her be carried away.

 _Just... just let me..._ she struggled to think. _Just let me see a sunrise from somewhere besides the cave tomorrow._

 _Or see a sunrise at all..._

* * *

The first thing she realized as soon as the dream began unfolding around her was that someone must have sent it to her on purpose. There was no other way that it could have revealed it so dramatically, as if it were just waiting for someone to watch it.

Mousepaw was on some sort of stone ledge, staring out before her to a landscape of craggy rocks and a soft blanket of snow. The sun was setting behind her, creating bright splashes of color across the sky. The moon was slowly, majestically rising from another corner of the dark blue canvas.

Clouds were lazily drifting by over her head, and right below her were two cats wrestling on the ground with tooth and claw.

The gray she-cat firmly placed her paw, claws unsheathed, over the tom's chest and leaned on him with all of her weight. Mousepaw stared at them in shock for a moment, before being startled into recognition.

It was her. Her, and... Lightning.

There was no doubt about it. There they were. On the ground. Fighting, for StarClan's sake. Tufts of snow were suddenly sent flying into the air when Lightning finally managed to roll out from under her and hurriedly scurry several tail-lengths away, looking slightly bewildered. Mousepaw watched in confusion as her other self stood up, brushed off her clumped-together pelt as best as she could, and took a step toward him, expression enraged.

She would have stayed to watch the scene progress, but then suddenly... something happened in the back of her mind.

Mousepaw didn't understand why, but she inwardly recoiled. It was like there was some sort of bridge of stepping stones keeping this dream in place, and something... something was eating away at it. Something taking chunks out of the bridge as if it hadn't eaten in days.

Her vision suddenly plunged into pitch dark, and her heart nearly leaped out of her chest.

Get out of my head, she thought frantically. Get out of my head, whatever you are.

The middle of the bridge fell away, and Mousepaw suddenly gasped, jolting back into reality.

For a moment, she closed her eyes again and tried to reach out for that part of her mind again. The part that sent her the dream, that seemed to know exactly what it was doing. There was nothing. Fortunately, though, whatever had been eating away at it was gone as well.

Long shadows suddenly fell across the grass in front of her, and Mousepaw snapped back to attention, glancing up.

Several lean cats stood in front of her, their tails lashing. They didn't look particularly happy. She glanced around desperately—she seemed to be in the same forest as before, although she couldn't really tell—and if they were here, then she must have crossed into their territory somehow. Quickly standing up, which gave her a bout of dizziness, she said quickly, "I... was just..."

* * *

The next morning, Mousepaw took one look around her and didn't even want to get up anymore.

There was no point.

The only thing she remembered from the day before were two cats, flanking her side by side, padding away through the forest before a golden sunset.

* * *

 **Of course.**

 **Of course I just had to cut off the conversation then. :}**

 **REVIEW**


	24. -another day in another cave

**thanks for the reviews :D keep them coming!**

 **i might slow the updates by a day or so, because of swimming practices, but it won't be anything major**

* * *

 **.**

guess where.

 **.**

Chapter Twenty-Four

 **.**

* * *

Perhaps she started hallucinating. Perhaps she simply just drifted back to sleep, finding no reason to do anything anymore.

But the next time she opened her eyes, Hawk Chaser was now undeniably standing in front of her in the cave.

Mousepaw's heart suddenly climbed into her throat. Some part of her mind felt clogged, like time processing was now an alien concept to her, but she managed to swivel her head around to glance around her surroundings. It seemed to be the exact same place, except that Lightning was nowhere in sight. Turning her attention back to Hawk Chaser, she stuttered, "Uh..."

"I'm not actually here, if that's what you're thinking right now," Hawk Chaser said.

It sounded like her, alright, but there was a different edge to her tone now that Mousepaw wasn't quite used to. She rubbed her eyes, trying to stand up and nearly falling over in the process. "Is... is this a dream?" she managed to say weakly.

Hawk Chaser huffed. "I guess you could say that or something. So I can't actually help you. But Driftsong was asleep, and Heartbreaker was trying to sleep, and I was like, 'Oh, right, I have powers now! I should do something with them!' "

Mousepaw couldn't pinpoint exactly what felt strange about this, but she decided to ask just to make sure. "How do I know that you're not actually Driftsong in disguise? I know that you can do that in dreams."

Hawk Chaser stared at her as if she had suddenly grown two extra heads. Mousepaw suddenly felt a bit self-conscious, but tried her best not to show it. "Uh, duh," she finally said. "Do I look like her?"

"No... because that's the reason she needs a disguise in the first place..."

The other she-cat still looked slightly confused, which Mousepaw took as an opportunity to abruptly change the subject. "So, anyway," she quickly said. "How does this work, exactly?"

"I mean, the Scorchwing's still... like... technically... possessing me," Hawk Chaser said, looking as if she still didn't quite understand what that meant. "That means I can do all sorts of stuff, like barge into the middle of your dreams. I can't believe Driftsong just let down her guard like that! I guess she didn't expect anything of me. Hah!"

Mousepaw couldn't exactly blame Driftsong. "Please tell me that you at least have a plan."

"I don't!" Hawk Chaser chirped cheerfully.

Somehow, Mousepaw wasn't surprised in the least. "So basically, you have no reason to be here and you can't help me at all."

She knew that she might have been putting it forward a bit too bluntly, but Hawk Chaser immediately seemed to droop like a wilted flower. "I can totally help!" she whined. "I can show you around and stuff! My power isn't limited like Driftsong, so I can pretty much do this for a really long time!"

"Show me what?" Mousepaw asked in exasperation.

Hawk Chaser frowned. For a moment, she was apprehensive that she wouldn't actually know, but then she seemed to remember and perked right up again. "Something that I caught Driftsong dreaming about!" she said excitedly. "It turns out that she actually guards her dreams really well, but I got a tiny glimpse of it before she kicked me out."

Mousepaw shifted her position, suddenly interested. "Oh?"

"It's of this weird pond thing in a weird cave in a weird place," Hawk Chaser said.

"Um, alright. That's... really descriptive." Mousepaw held back a snort at the last moment. "So it's weird. Got it. How do you that it's important?"

"Because it gives off this weird important-ish vibe."

Mousepaw suddenly got the feeling that she wasn't going to get anything out of this conversation at all. "Can you show me, then? I assume that if you concentrate hard enough, you can pretty much show me anything in a dream that you've already seen before."

"Oh! Oh! That's it!" Hawk Chaser said, suddenly whirling around in her excitement and whacking Mousepaw in the face with her fluffy tail. "Just wait a moment, 'kay? I just need a few moments and then boom, you can sense the important-ish vibe for yourself!"

"Just curious," Mousepaw said slowly, "but how old are you?"

"Same as my brother."

"So how old is he?"

"Same as me."

Mousepaw sighed, leaned back against the wall, and closed her eyes. This was going to be a long dream. "Basically, then, you don't know."

"Mhmm." Hawk Chaser currently had her eyes closed and her forehead scrunched up in concentration, but nothing seemed to be changing around them.

She waited for a few moments, as to not break her attentiveness, then eventually gave up and decided that Hawk Chaser must not have the ability to change their surroundings. "How are Heartbreaker and Driftsong doing, by the way?"

"Oh." The other she-cat cracked open one eye, then glanced over at her with an unsure smile. "Uh... he's fine, I guess. Sure. Let's go with that. Totally fine. But as for her..."

She suddenly trailed off, and Mousepaw felt as if she had an inkling of why.

"She... made you kill someone again, right?" she guessed. "Someone named Frostfall, maybe?"

Mousepaw could see the effects her words had on Hawk Chaser immediately. Her ears fell flat, her tail drooped, and she developed a sudden interest in the ground below her. Mousepaw felt more than a little awkward, not knowing exactly what to do, but she tried to pat her on the shoulder. "It... wasn't your fault," she said lamely, although it sounded more like a question to her.

"Oh, thanks." Hawk Chaser didn't look any better than before, but she did manage to straighten herself up. "I mean, at least you're trying to be nice."

Despite herself, she winced a bit at the 'trying to be' part. "Mm."

Hawk Chaser stood up, as if about to pace, but then shook her head and then muttered something under her breath.

"How did you even get here, anyway?" Mousepaw asked.

"Oh." She shrugged. "Simple. Driftsong's thoughts. Turns out that she didn't expect me to be able to do that. But due to my awesomeness, I think I saw you in a cave just like this and I decided to give it a try. But then after that, she put up more shields and stuff around her mind. So now I can't see anything. Too bad, really."

"So there's nothing we can do anymore?" Mousepaw said desperately. "Nothing? Just sit here and do StarClan-knows-what?"

For some reason, Hawk Chaser still looked largely unbothered by this fact. "But at least we can talk," she said cheerfully. Not for the first time, Mousepaw wished she could have some of her friend's enthusiasm. "I don't know if Driftsong can tell that I'm here, although technically I've taken you out of your world entirely, which... oh, this is confusing me."

There was an awkward silence between them two for a moment, before Mousepaw cleared her throat. "So does that mean we plan for what we should do next? I'm... not quite sure how to explain this, but I think I may be stuck in some sort of—"

Before she could finish her sentence, Hawk Chaser's image suddenly flickered. She blinked, seemingly confused, and that was when she disappeared completely.

Mousepaw's blood turned to ice in her veins and she slowly turned around, suddenly wide awake and alert.

"H...hawk Chaser?" she said hesitantly.

She heard a sudden, loud cracking sound, as if the ground beneath her paws was literally turning to pieces. But when she looked down, there was nothing. Not even any cracks. Disoriented, feeling somehow as if she were floating in the air, Mousepaw glanced up just in time to see that the thing outside the cave entrance wasn't sunlight shining in.

It was just... nothing.

Mousepaw realized that it didn't take a genius to figure out that this meant trouble.

Trying not to panic, she stumbled as far back against the wall as possible. Could it be just her, or was the nothingness coming closer toward her? "This is just a dream," she muttered to herself. "Just a dream. Besides, you'll probably wake up with all your memories erased anyway, so you don't even need to worry about..."

Too late.

Something buckled underneath her paws, and Mousepaw gritted her teeth, trying to balance as best as she could. Even then, she knew that it was the end. The last thought she had before whatever-it-was surrounded her was that this was a rather pathetic way to die.

* * *

"Uh... Mousepaw..."

She didn't hear him. The only thing on her mind was the encroaching blankness, and over and over, the frantic sound of her own voice muttering, "I'm never going into a cave again... never... never again... stupid lights... stupid caves..."

Something whacked against her face, and Mousepaw jolted awake with a hiss.

Right as she opened her eyes, she could tell immediately that something was different. Instead of the light that usually filtered in through the entrance on the far end, there was only darkness in front of her. In fact, the only light source that she could see in front of her came from a tiny skylight on the ceiling.

"This... isn't where I was last time..." she muttered. She couldn't help it, but a tiny sliver of hope slipped through into her voice.

There was a pause, and for a moment Mousepaw thought that Lightning had left. But then—

"I know," he sighed. "But I realized that it's not safe for you there anymore."

"Explain."

"I can't. Not right now."

"I am wondering why I am not surprised by this statement."

Lightning shuffled his paws. "Something happened. Someone I met out there saw you, and when I knew, well... it's just..."

Then without another word, he turned around and disappeared into the shadows. "Stay inside, alright?"

Mousepaw squinted after him.

* * *

The place looked like a prison.


	25. -all that shines-

**.**

Cave of the Forgotten

 **.**

Chapter Twenty-Five

 **.**

* * *

The sound of rushing water eventually brought Mousepaw's attention over to something by the edge of the cave. Creeping closer, she saw that it was, indeed, a small stream. Guessing by the fact that she must not have been moved particularly far, it was probably the same one that went through her previous cave.

Mousepaw listened to the soft trickling of water passing by for a few moments, then straightened. If her theory was correct, then she could probably get back to her previous cave... if only the stream was deep enough and she was willing to swim. Lightning didn't seem like he was coming back anytime soon, so she might as well get started trying to find a way out.

Grimacing, she dipped her paws into the stream. It was freezing cold, alright, but not much worse than she had first expected. Now that her eyes had adjusted to the dark a bit more, she could see that it did indeed go through an opening in the rock. She worried at first that she might not be small enough to fit, but she soon realized that the stream dipped down further the more she went.

By the time she finally submerged her head into the water, bracing against the temperature, Mousepaw pledged to herself that she would never do this again. Trying to go as quickly as possible, she nearly crashed her head into the top of the wall and tripped over her own paws several times. Careful, she reminded herself.

Eventually, when she sensed that all was clear, she shot out of the water, gasping for breath.

Mousepaw settled down on the nearest shore for a moment, regaining her composure and trying to see where she was. This didn't seem to be the cave she was familiar with—it was much too dark for that—but at least she had found a way out. So shouldn't she be congratulating herself right now?

She looked up, and realized that she wasn't alone in the cave.

In front of her were several of those floating shadows that she had met before, all facing her with those blank expressions. Mousepaw couldn't even tell if they had eyes or not, but somehow, she was already feeling them drilling through her fur. Swallowing, she said, "Uh... did I just interrupt something here?"

The situation didn't seem to be good. Immediately, they moved to the side, and the shadow in the far back moved forward. Mousepaw didn't recognize the silhouette at first, but then, with a jolt, she realized that it was Osprey. That one that had been talking to Leopard way back then. The one she had faint memories of about some sort of conversation.

Even so, she couldn't help but feel a bit of relief. Because at least this way, she might end up finding something out about all of what was happening to her recently...

Mousepaw stared at Osprey for a moment, confused when she suddenly moved back, but then guessed that she must want her to follow. Standing up reluctantly, she began padding forward as the shadow slowly drifted over to the back end of the cave.

"So that's the way out, right?" Mousepaw asked as the shadow slid through some sort of entrance in the wall. "I know you can't really answer me and all, but... I don't really where I'm going... and maybe I should just..."

She sensed movement behind her, and realized that the other shadows had grouped together and were now forming a solid line behind her. Mousepaw knew that—probably—she could just go right through them, but something about the way they did it still made her nervous. "Fine, fine, I'm going," she muttered, quickly hurrying after Osprey.

Right after she appeared into the next room, she could tell that something was wrong. There were no entrances anywhere to be seen, and even worse, it was completely pitch dark. This seemed to be Osprey's exact intention, however, as she settled herself near the walls and waited.

Mousepaw glanced behind her. Sure enough, the way back was heavily blocked.

"Did you... happen to get the wrong cat?" she asked, hoping fervently that this was the case.

Osprey simply did nothing. Sensing that she was going to be here for a rather long time, Mousepaw sat down herself and waited. Then waited again. Then waited some more.

The shadow didn't even move.

"This... was planned, right?" Mousepaw asked slowly.

She couldn't tell exactly, but she seemed to nod her silhouetted head just a tiny bit.

"So, are we waiting for something or someone? This seems to be taking quite a long time."

There came another nod. Mousepaw sighed.

"How long am I supposed to wait here, then? Could you just call me when whoever it is comes?"

Personally, Mousepaw felt that it must be Leopard, and wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible. She had just been looking forward to seeing what she could find out on her own. Not this. "Unless you mean to tell me that..."

She stopped.

"Hold on. There's one more possibility. This sounds sort of ridiculous, but... am I supposed to know who's coming? Did we discuss this in some conversation that I forgot about? Because there's something that I haven't told you yet, and maybe you won't really believe me, but..."

Osprey nodded.

Mousepaw couldn't take this anymore. Turning around, she called, "I'll be back later!" and determinedly walked right toward the line of shadows. Just as she thought, she passed right through them and before long, she was back at the stream that would take her back.

 _Last time. Seriously,_ she thought to herself, diving into the water.

By the time she had got back, Lightning still wasn't there. Shaking droplets off of her pelt, Mousepaw turned around and nearly jumped.

Though she had been partly expecting it, the shadows were still there, staring at her from above the river's surface. They seemed to be part of the wall of the cave at the same time as well, which made Mousepaw feel slightly odd. Even when she settled down and pretended to look somewhere else, she could still feel their gazes on her.

 _How long are they going to keep this up?_ she thought, partly irritated and also slightly concerned.

Mousepaw sighed.

She had better get used to this.

* * *

Eventually, a loud splashing sound suddenly permeated the tiny cave, and Mousepaw, who had been half expecting a new arrival, silently unsheathed her claws.

It wouldn't come of any use if this was who she thought it was, but somehow, it made her feel just a little bit safer.

Sure enough, it was the same golden-furred she-cat that Mousepaw hadn't seen in such a long time. Part of her was worried, but she had been in far too many of these sorts of situations by now. It had already gotten to the point where that spike of panic she used to get so often, seemed strangely foreign. Nevertheless, she tried to look as confident as possible. It never hurt.

Leopard squinted her eyes against the darkness, pausing for a moment as if trying to see what was there. Mousepaw simply waited patiently for her to come to the inevitable conclusion. In the end, the other she-cat finally turned around, tilting her head slightly at the sight of the apprentice.

"It's time for you to fulfill your end of the deal," she said, slowly.

If Mousepaw listened carefully, she could tell that her words were stilted and the accents much too even. Just like she had expected, since she had figured that Leopard was just a conjuration of Driftsong. Right? "I don't remember any such deal," she retorted.

Leopard clearly outright ignored this, instead holding out her paw. Mousepaw leaned in closer, curious to see what it was despite herself. "Here," she stated flatly.

It seemed to be some sort of herb, although it wasn't anything that she had ever seen before. Mousepaw frowned. She really should know better, after spending so much time in the medicine den. It looked like some species of berry or another, but bright orange and glowing slightly.

Then she realized.

"It's... a Scorchwing..." Mousepaw muttered. "I'm... not going to ask how you somehow managed to get hold of that." Since she assumed that they had to be inhabiting some other object, that must be true for this one and the berry. "So what do you want me to do with this?"

Leopard stared at her, seemingly perplexed for a moment. Then she took a step forward.

"Eat it."

"Uh, what?" Mousepaw had to admit, some part in the back of her mind had been expecting this, but she had almost immediately waved it off as too absurd to possibly be true.

"Eat it," she repeated, dropping it on the ground.

This somehow seemed to make it glow even brighter, and Mousepaw instinctively shuddered. It looked like the most unappetizing thing she had ever seen. "So, um, you mentioned something about a... deal, right?" she asked nervously, trying to avert the topic of the conversation. "Can you tell me when that was?"

Leopard took a moment to process that question. "Days ago. I forgot how many. I didn't come to you in person. It was one of my... allies."

Mousepaw winced. It must have been that time when she was talking to Osprey and then that headache that cut it right off. Just in case, she decided not to mention that. Besides, Leopard must be relatively easy to trick compared to real cats. If only... "I, ah, forgot what exactly the details of it were," she said.

The other she-cat frowned, but didn't appear to find this too suspicious. "In order for you to have a—"

Her next words after that were conveniently cut off by the soft pad of footsteps just a few tail-lengths away. Mousepaw quickly stood up, straining to see past the shadows, while Leopard thankfully seemed to retreat somewhere out of sight.

"Lightning?" she called out hesitantly.

Sure enough, it was him, carrying in his jaws yet another fish. He shot a meaningful look at the spot where Leopard was hidden as he entered, but surely that was just a coincidence, right? "No," he said, once again failing to sound the least bit cheerful like his normal self. "It's totally not me. Of course it's someone else, because that totally makes sense."

"That was probably the worse sarcasm I have ever heard in my life," Mousepaw said dully, trying her hardest not to look over in Leopard's direction. "Oh, by the way, is fish really the only thing you can catch? That's just sad."

Lightning looked for a moment as if he were about to say something, then just shrugged and dropped it on the ground. "Just, not eat it if you don't want to, I guess."

He settled down on the opposite wall, sighing. Mousepaw watched him for a moment, pretending to be interested so she could keep an eye on Leopard's movements. Just as the other she-cat glanced curiously at the fish, the apprentice shook her head ever so subtly.

 _Don't even think about hiding anything in that,_ she mouthed. _Seriously, you haven't even told me what the damn deal was. Don't go shoving magical glowing fruit down others' throats, either._

Mousepaw couldn't possibly have gotten the entire message across, but she hoped that it would at least suffice.

And then before she could react, an infuriated hiss rang through the air.

The next thing she knew, Leopard was flying toward her with claws unsheathed.

* * *

 **behold**

 **a shameless cliffhanger has appeared**

 **Seriously, though, the next two chapters are going to have a lot more action, don't worry.**

 **Review!**


	26. -split-

**Looks like everyone reviewed about cliffhangers. Not surprising. :D**

 **Cliffhangers are certainly my friends. I have to actively try not to overuse them ._.**

* * *

 **.**

Cave of the Forgotten

 **.**

Chapter Twenty-Six

 **.**

* * *

In some ways, Mousepaw had been ready for this. The moment that Leopard charged toward her, she spun out of the way and landed—barely—on all four feet, just a tail-length away. "Really?" she yelled. "Is the glowing fruit really this important?"

"It should work," Leopard was muttering under her breath. "It has to work. Because you promised me that you would do it."

"Look, I'm tired of the pronoun game already. I promised I would do what?"

"Eat it."

"Um, I know, but..."

Mousepaw glanced over at Lightning for help. The tom was now staring back and forth between them as if it were a rather intense game of mossball. His expression was conflicted, and he seemed to be struggling for the right words. Turning back to Leopard, she continued, "Does it... do anything?"

In the back of her mind, a thought whispered, _it kills you_ , but she managed to grind that part to dust.

"It helps to strengthen your connection with Driftsong," Leopard finally said. "Then she will be able to take Mousepaw back."

"Say wh—"

"No," Lightning suddenly said.

Both of them spun around. He took a deep breath, seemingly steadying himself before continuing on. "She's not going anywhere with you, and especially not with Driftsong. She's staying right here."

Normally, this might have comforted her, but there was a strange possessiveness about the way he said it. Mousepaw sighed, exasperated. "Is this about the whole 'boo hoo I'm so lonely please donate a friend to my psychopathic self' fund drive?"

"No," Leopard clarified. "That was a lie. She just needs to use you for—"

That was all Mouspaw needed to hear. "Great, now that was helpful," she said, rather louder than was necessary. "That's it. I'm not going anywhere."

"By the way, why are you being so open with that information, uh, Leopard?" Lightning asked, clearly trying to sound casual. "I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be trying to manipulate her with promises of glory or power or love or something."

Leopard grinned. "Oh, well, I thought she had already been through that with the whole alternate-self fiasco. Now that I think about it, threats work so much better, don't they?"

Lightning immediately fell silent.

Gripping the stone with her unsheathed claws, Mousepaw tried to keep calm as best as she could. "So you threatened me into it? Let me guess. There was lots of death involved."

"Lots of death," Leopard said cheerfully. "The death of all thirty-two of your remaining clanmates, in fact."

There was another long period of silence. Then, finally, fighting to keep her voice steady, Mousepaw said, "I thought... that was already going to happen."

"I see you have been paying attention," Leopard said, sounding mildly impressed. "But she has changed her mind. If you agree to this, then she will let them go. If you don't, then, well..."

She trailed off, staring at Mousepaw intently.

"Don't," Lightning suddenly said. "It has to be a trick, somehow. Besides, you don't know what Driftsong plans to do."

"No, I'm just wondering about something," Mousepaw said absentmindedly. "If that's true, then what was the point of wiping my memories clean of each day that goes by?" Too late, she realized that she had accidentally said it aloud, but maybe keeping secrets didn't matter anymore. "It just seems like a waste of time."

"So you really don't remember," Leopard remarked. "Even after all that pressuring, even after the added threats, even after the run-in with my, ah... friends." She smiled in a vague way that Mousepaw want to tear right off her face. "I was wondering why they reported that you seemed so confused."

Mousepaw tilted her head. "So in a way, the memory loss makes me less compelled to agree to your demands. That sounds rather counterproductive."

"It is," Lightning agreed, "which is strange, don't you think?"

Immediately, Mousepaw whipped around to face him. "Hold on," she said, "you don't seem to be surprised at this at all."

She registered shock on his face before he quickly stammered, "Um, I mean, I am, I'm more surprised than you know, it's just that—"

"Just what?" Mousepaw snapped. "Just that you could be my first suspect?" Turning around, she began muttering. "It all makes sense now. How you never seemed to be surprised by what was happening to me. How you always appeared to know more than you should. Even the fact that you outright stand out from everyone else—you're the only real cat here."

"I can explain," Lightning said desperately. "Just give me a moment for me to think, I—"

"Time is ever running out," Leopard said, now beginning to juggle the glowing berry between her paws. "So. Speak now or forever hold your peace."

Mousepaw ignored her. Turning back to Lightning, she said, "Explain right now."

He quickly backed away a few steps. "Um, we have more urgent matters at hand. Seriously, we do."

"More urgent than the possibility that you have been wiping my memories?" She sighed. "It makes sense. Even now, you're telling me not to go. Look, if it really was you, at least it's better than working with Driftsong. But I still can't believe you didn't just try to convince me from the beginning."

"I'm telling you, it really wasn't me."

The berry suddenly hit her back and tumbled to the ground, and Mousepaw turned around. "Choose," Leopard interrupted, sounding irritated.

"No."

"I said, choose."

"That's my decision. I said no."

"Then they'll all die."

Mousepaw closed her eyes and sighed. She had to go warn them somehow. If they got far away from a Scorchwing, then maybe even Driftsong would have a hard time tracking them. But still, that was unlikely. "How much time do I have to decide?"

"Until the day ends, I suppose," Leopard said, narrowing her eyes. "Due to your... ah, condition."

There was a long period of silence, and then Mousepaw muttered, "I need to think outside."

Then with that, she headed for the direction of the faint light and ignored Lightning's footsteps resounding behind her.

* * *

It turns out that the entrance wasn't even hard to spot. Just beside her paws was a noticeable crack where a spot of sunlight shone in, at which she ducked down and squeezed her way through.

To her surprise, as she stepped out into the light, the giant ruins were off in a different direction than she had expected. Instead, in front of her stood the formidable mountains that had previously seemed so untouchable. She must have been moved much further than she thought.

Behind her, Lightning and Leopard followed her out of the cave, blinking. "Um, where are you going?" Lightning said.

"Those mountains," Mousepaw muttered. "There are other cats living in them, right? Plus the weird feeling that I got last time I went there..."

"Hey, you listening?" he tried again, stepping in front of her.

She sidestepped. "Could be just the work of whoever is taking my memories, but maybe those mystery cats have powers of their own. Huh, actually, I'm not sure if I can figure this out... but there's something else I can."

Lightning immediately stepped back, as if anticipating what she had to say next.

"Not it."

"This isn't tag," Mousepaw scowled. "No more waiting. I'm not giving you any more time to come up with stories. Just the truth, right now: who you are, why you're here, what do you want, all of that."

"Holy mackerel!" Lightning shouted. "Do you not trust me in the slightest?"

"The answer to that depends on your responses to my questions."

Lightning sighed, then cast a weary glance over in Leopard's direction. "Uh, alright... we can talk over this in detail, then. In private." He nodded toward the mountain. "I guess somewhere over there, in the trees, would be fine."

Then with that, without another look back, he turned around and began trotting up the path, whistling through his teeth (rather forcefully, Mousepaw thought).

Surprisingly, Leopard made no attempt to follow after them.

Soon, they arrived in a small clearing, tall fern fronds surrounding the edges and sunlight shining through into the center. Lightning took a deep breath, leaves rustling under his paws. "So. This might come as a slight shock to you."

"Jeez, I never would have thought. So what is it?"

Lightning shifted uncomfortably. Maybe it was just her, but the air around them suddenly seemed a lot more... compressed. "In some ways, I guess you were right about me being involved with your missing memories. But wait," he quickly said just as Mousepaw scowled again. "Not like that. The thing is, I had absolutely no say in the matter. Besides, I kind of need it."

"So you're just piggybacking on the opportunity, basically. Got it."

"It's more complicated than that."

"Tch. I'm sure it is."

"Seriously."

"Mhmm."

"Uh, wait, is the air... shimmering around us?"

Mousepaw squinted at him suspiciously. Sure, she was getting a weird feeling right now, but surely that wasn't related. "Don't try to change the subject."

"I'm not. It feels like someone is... trying to rip their way here from another dimension."

The trees suddenly shook, their leaves flapping in the sudden wind. Mousepaw winced. "That sounds stupid. How are they supposed to—"

"Hello," a familiar voice sighed from somewhere up above.

Both of them started.

Mousepaw instinctively backpedaled away from the sound, accidentally crashing into Lightning in the process.

"Oh, you're terrified," Driftsong said. "Completely terrified." She almost sounded mocking, but she sounded more tired than usual. "I know what you're thinking. 'I'm totally shaking right now. She's the most intimidating cat I've ever met.' "

Mousepaw squinted around her. There didn't seem to be anyone standing near her, so she lifted her chin to search the trees instead. To her surprise, Driftsong was perched on the top branch of a nearby oak... alone. How had she been able to appear so terrifying back in the spirit realm? Now, she seemed like just another young she-cat.

Then she realized something. "Hold on. How are you here? I thought you had to stay over there."

"Oh. Haha. That's cute." Driftsong, rather uncharacteristically wobbled on her paws and nearly fell. She seemed like she was half-asleep. "The thing is, uh, well... she kicked me out. She's surprisingly strong. Oh, also, I'm not actually here. She's still over in the spirit realm with my physical body, but I'm just here as a... semblance. Of sorts. I just wanted to pay you guys a visit. Uh, hi, I guess."

"Just curious, what are you o..."

"Huh?"

"Never mind." She took a deep breath. She had to sound confident. "Tell me who this 'she' is, first."

"Ha." Driftsong finally managed to balance herself. "The... other half of myself that's hijacking my body, of course. I hate her so much."

Mousepaw decided that this wasn't supposed to be surprising at all, given what she had learned in the last few days. She would have to think about this later. "So explain. Explain all of this memory-taking thing. Lightning's who you give all the memories, right?"

"I mean, since you've already found out this much..." Driftsong sighed. "I suppose. But it wasn't my doing."

"So I was right."

"He doesn't just take the memories. The memories are what he literally is. He's been doing this for... oh, I don't know. Much longer than I was alive. Since forever, basically."

Mousepaw turned around, frowning. "He's... what?"

Driftsong didn't respond; with no other explanation, she leaped over to another tree and began heading up the mountain.

"Uh, you want us to follow?"

Still no response. Her figure was now a shimmering haze over the backdrop of the setting sun.

* * *

 **Due to poor planning, I'll now have to cram so many things into the next chapter alone. Sorry this one wasn't as eventful as I thought.**

 **By the way, the "split-soul" thing that Driftsong has isn't just a gimmick I decided to throw in. It's going to address some stuff we came across earlier, and probably actually makes (no) sense, trust me.**

 **Reviews are still appreciated though lol**


	27. -trapped in a maze-

***checks reviews***

 **Someone's confused... someone else is also confused... alright, nothing new here!**

 **If this whole soul stuff is starting to get repetitive** — **this will be the last chapter I do in Mousepaw's POV. (Until somewhere around the end.) Sorry that the last chapter was basically just an infodump that failed to be interesting.**

 **In this one, I'll tie everything up as best as I can and make way (rather dramatically, I hope) for a new main character. That will also conclude part 3. Once that happens, we won't have to think about all this confusing stuff for a long, long time!**

 ***cue cheering***

 ***curtsies***

* * *

 **.**

The mountainside

 **.**

Chapter Twenty-Seven

 **.**

* * *

Two possible options at the moment.

One, to follow Driftsong.

Two, also to follow Driftsong.

(Mousepaw followed Driftsong.)

Despite the fact that she was running, she couldn't seem to catch up. Tall-growing ferns whipped around her face as she struggled up the hillside, trying to see past the dangling clusters of leaves blocking her view. Pausing to catch her breath, Mousepaw stared up through the forest canopy. _Driftsong, where are you?_

"Over here!" Lightning suddenly yelled from somewhere up ahead. "She's over here!"

Bracing herself, she trekked up the last stretch of hillside.

She saw her immediately.

The she-cat was perched rather dramatically on top of a tall boulder, tail curled around her paws as she stared down at them. The trees released their hold on the mountainside as the terrain changed to allow for a rugged rock face. "Oh," she said, for once sounding slightly impressed. "So you really do want answers."

"Because... they were taken away from me?"

Driftsong, seemingly amused, flexed her claws. "Right. Those lost memories. Let me just put it out there."

She leaned in closer, as if the two of them were clanmates sharing gossip.

"It was me."

"But I thought..."

Mousepaw trailed off. True, doing so would hinder whatever Driftsong was planning. But now that she took a step back and looked at the whole picture, it made just a tiny amount of sense. Driftsong's soul was apparently split in two, after all.

"Oh, and?" the she-cat suddenly began, interrupting Mousepaw's thought process. "Just to let you know, your time is running out to decide what to do. I can sense Leopard getting impatient down there. Meaning you'll have to make your decision soon. Either you'll go with Leopard and her... rather ridiculous... plan." She snorted. "Or, you'll actually be useful and warn your clan."

"I'm starting to think, at this rate, that I'll just go with her," Mousepaw muttered. "There's no way I can get to them in time."

"Oh, please," 'Driftsong' said, tossing her head up in the air. "If there's a will, there's a way."

"That's not true."

"So you'll stand by as they burn to crisps and choke to death?"

"..."

"Forest fires are much more effective at killing than tooth and claw, don't you think?" 'Driftsong' asked casually.

"Basically, then, you're warning me," Mousepaw said, frowning. "The two parts of you are... after different things, aren't they?"

'Driftsong' sighed. "Look, sorry to burst your bubble, but this isn't some good-vs-evil inner battle. So don't get your hopes up. I just want to spite her as much as possible. Before I fade away and all."

Deciding that there were more urgent things at present, Mousepaw decided not to ask.

"Besides," 'Driftsong' said, "it's not like we're on the same page quite yet. For example, even if you wanted to go with Leopard... do you really think I would let you? I could just easily take your memories of her arguments, and then you wouldn't have any reason to trust her. Either way, apprentice, my other half plans to set the forest on fire. That's obvious. But if you try to warn them..."

There was a long pause.

Then Lightning suddenly spoke up. "Look," he said, "what if she just... stays? Not go with Leopard, nor go put herself in danger."

Mousepaw had already made up her mind and was already heading down the mountainside. "Not an option. Sorry."

Immediately, Lightning sidestepped and blocked her path, suddenly looking determined. "Hold on, can we just—"

" _Move,_ " Mousepaw snapped, annoyed. "There are cats about to die here. Let me do whatever I need to do."

"That's right. Listen to her for once," 'Driftsong' chimed in behind them. "I'm sure I can find other... ahem, sources. So you don't die and all."

"But—"

Before Lightning could finish his statement, Mousepaw cut him off.

"Look, I'm sure you're about to say something about how you actually care about me and all that," she said, steeling her nerves and looking him in the eye. "That's nice. I don't doubt that you do."

'Driftsong' yawned. "Forecast: possible chance of romantic vibes."

"But in the grand scheme of what happens to NightClan today, that doesn't matter one bit," Mouspaw continued, ignoring the other she-cat. "I'm going, and that's it. There's nothing you can do about it."

Lightning opened his mouth, as if to say something, then quickly shut it again.

"I appreciate your concern. But I'm leaving anyway, so you might as well not worry."

Once again, he tried to speak, then finally bit his outer lip.

Before he could do anything else, Mousepaw spun around and crashed through the brambles, disappearing from sight.

The stunned silence that followed her down was even worse than any protests Lightning might have thrown her way. Quietly, she began to wonder if this would be the last time she ever saw any of them.

The path down the mountain was winded and rugged, but she hardly noticed. Her heart was pounding madly in her chest, and she wasn't sure if it was because of the previous conversation or just her impending sense of doom.

By the time she reached level ground again, her pelt was covered with a layer of leaves and dirt. The cold wind buffeted her fur, and she shivered in the sudden chill.

 _Focus. Which way is NightClan?_

To be honest, Mousepaw had never been especially good at directions. She attempted to focus all her attention on the task at hand anyway. Squinting, she tried to remember how the mountains looked from back camp. It wasn't that far, right?

She sighed, and continued trudging through the fallen leaves. It must be one of those things that she would be able to recognize when she saw it.

Eventually, she came to the edge of a small clearing. The sound of trickling water brought her attention over to a small running stream, and Mousepaw tried not to let her hopes up too much. There still had to be some distance ahead of her, but if she got lucky...

Mousepaw turned around, directing her attention to the sky.

And immediately saw the plume of rising smoke.

* * *

It was probably the first time she really ran. She didn't stop to question what was going on, nor tried to calculate how fast she could get there in time. She just ran.

Mousepaw didn't stop when she caught the first trace of border markings. She kept going. Brambles tore at her paws, and pieces of her fur were left in their crooked grasp, forever lost. Despite the fact that she had no idea why she was so determined, she knew that she had to do this.

 _Why?_

She stopped for a moment, gasping for breath. A wave of nausea passed over her, and she nearly reeled backward. Why did she have to get there? They probably had scouts at the ready, and were already evacuating the camp.

The thing was, there really weren't a lot of options when it came to where they could go. They were closed in by tall mountain ranges, cold and distant overseers among the snow and wind. The valley gave them a place to live, supported them, provided hope in a dark realm... and was their only choice. And even if NightClan stayed in the mountains, how would they survive after the fire scorched what little forest they had?

It didn't matter.

 _I have to get there I have to get there._

Mousepaw shoved aside the burning feeling in her lungs and kept running.

The colors rushing by no longer seemed solid. They seemed surreal, like the canvas holding the world together was starting to fall apart. By the time she saw the familiar entrance clearing before her, dots were beginning to dance before her eyes. Blinking, Mousepaw skidded to a halt and turned around.

The world was in flames.

There was only smoke and danger in all four directions.

And she was caught in the crossfire.

"F...fire," Mousepaw called out weakly, stumbling toward the bramble entrance. _Stupid. Why did I feel the need to state the obvious?_ Inside, surrounded in the blazing heat, was an abandoned clearing. Dens were empty. Meals were deserted. And the camp was forsaken.

 _Stupid stupid stupid_

 _Why did I come here_

 _Why am I here_

 _Why did I say that_

 _They already knew_

 _THEY ALREADY KNEW_

Her thoughts soon spun into the realm of panic. Now that she was here, she was as trapped as they might have been in another world. Desperately, she backed herself against the corner of the camp. The sound of the flames snapping and crackling made her head feel light, and her paws were shaking.

Before her—the fire.

 _a mouse trapped in a labyrinth_

Behind her—solid walls.

 _just keep trying the same thing over and over and over_

To either side—twigs on empty dens caught on a merry bonfire, a precursor of what was to come.

And a flash of movement out of the corner of her eyes.

Gradually, she turned around.

In front of her stood two blurred figures—one tall and one less so. They stood together as one, facing the fire, watching as the inferno rolled closer. Seemingly unafraid of their impending doom.

Who could possibly still be here..?

 _we're standing at the edge of the world_

Then it registered.

"Sootpaw?" she managed to croak out. "Crouchfeather?"

 _ready to fall over with one push_

Sootpaw turned around.

A soft gray blanket began enveloping her in a tight embrace. Mousepaw tried to back away, but it was already too late. The smoke had already made its way inside.

And the next thing she knew, it was all a blur.

 _we're prepared to join you, yes, we are_

Her knees shook.

 _Why?_

 _Why did I..._

And then it came to her.

 _Because I wanted to feel important._

 _I wanted to feel like I had done something._

 _And I guess..._

 _Maybe that's just my fault, huh?_

 _Still haven't learned anything._

 _Hah._

 _I did it... for myself..._

* * *

 **A . A**

 **\\-.-/**

 **/...\**

* * *

 _I did it for myself._

 _Maybe someone else would have tried to go back to SnowClan and attempted to change things._

 _Yeah... I'm not that person._

* * *

 _I did it for myself._

 _Joining Flame Dancer and her weird little group? Mostly for protection, I'll admit. Though I never thought I would need it._

* * *

 _I did it for myself._

 _I told them everything. No secret was left in the dark._

 _My grudge went much deeper than even I expected._

* * *

 _I did it all for myself._

 _And then I regretted it._

* * *

 **End of Part 3**

* * *

 **.**

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 **.**

 **.**

* * *

 **Just to clear something up, in case you were worried** — **no, there won't be a love triangle. Spoilers: neither Lightning nor Sootpaw have any 'feelings' for Mousepaw, and they won't develop over the course of the story, either. NOT going down that lane! :D**

 **(Of course, that's if she even lives at all...)**

 **I'll also be leaving for China to visit some family in a few days. Unfortunately, I'll have to stay there for one-and-something-months. So don't expect frequent updates. Mostly, I'll be trying to edit the first few chapters of this story. There's so much unnecessary angst and parts of Mousepaw's character that I never fleshed out.**

 **In the beginning, I intended for Mousepaw to be a lot more cynical, with sort of a nihilistic mindset. But, as you can see, this story hinges a lot more heavily on plot than character development, and she eventually evolved into... this. I guess she's generally a serious character, a bit cutthroat with her words sometimes, but still cracks sarcastic jokes sometimes?**

 **(But at least I have a bit more experience for the next main character now. Maybe.)**

 **So... review!**


	28. Note

**I'll get straight to the point...**

 **I've had to drag myself to update this story for a while now, and really, I was just looking for any excuse to not have to write. The whole China thing? Technically, I did go to visit family, but I've been staying at their apartment and sitting in my bed for the last several days. I had a staggering amount of time to do whatever the heck I wanted, but instead, I've been reading fanfics and messing around on Discord.**

 **Obviously, everyone gets writer's block, but I really don't have anything left for Shadow Flight. My original plans for this story were rather ambitious: 200,000 words of mysteries and unnecessary drama and whatnot. But I just can't bring myself to sit down and brainstorm anymore.**

 **(On a side note, I've been moving away from this fandom for a long time** — **nothing personal, I just don't get excited about writing this stuff anymore. Believe me, I've been here for a while and it's always been an awesome place, but my interests belong elsewhere now.)**

 **So, I've decided to just end the story on that note, with the conclusion of Part 3. Leave the holes and loose ends up to your imagination. I'll still check back in the fandom regularly** — **it's where I've made most of my friends, after all** — **but I'll just be lurking from now on, reading and reviewing certain fanfics and PMing people and maybe starting another forum of my own. Unless I change my mind in the future, this means no more cat stories.**

 **(That's a lie, actually. I've posted one last story called Blurred as a goodbye** — **but that's it. Obviously, I'll continue writing, and that includes fanfics, but they'll be for other fandoms on another account. If I get confident enough about my skills, then maybe I'll share the name of that account in the future...)**

 **Still, though, I really hope this fandom continues to churn out the amazing work that it does. It was where I finally decided to share my writing for the first time, and since then, the amount of progress I've made and the support (and helpful criticism) I've gotten is staggering.** **Thanks, guys, for staying with me, and that includes all my anonymous readers.**

 **Until next time.**

 **~ Storm**


End file.
